1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

2 – “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

3 – You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pi$$ing you off.

4 – Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”

6 – “On time” is when you get there.

7 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

8 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.

9 – Lately, You’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.

10 – Growing old should have taken longer.

11 – Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.

12 – You still haven’t learned to act your age, and hope you never will.

And one more:

“One for the road” means peeing before you leave the house.