The Jewish and The Chinese Pilots

Source: From The Trenches
Published: Jun 27, 2017
Author: Hal Apeeno
Post Date: 2017-06-27 13:00:07 by Deckard
Views: 2940

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain.

His copilot is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.  

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, ‘I don’t like Chinese.’

‘No rike Chinese?’ asks the copilot, ‘….why not?’

‘You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that’s why !’

‘No, no,’ the co-pilot protests, ‘Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.’

‘Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese… doesn’t matter, you’re all alike!’

There’s a few minutes of silence.

‘I no rike Jews either!’ the copilot suddenly announces.

‘Oh yeah, why not?’ asks the captain.

‘Jews sink Titanic.’

‘What? That’s insane! Jews didn’t sink the Titanic!’ exclaims the captain, ‘It was an iceberg!’

‘Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg …no mattah… all same.’

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#1: Tooconservative    To: Deckard (#0)

Is that a joke? I can't tell.

Tooconservative posted on 2017-06-27 13:10:02   Reply   Private Reply

#2: Vicomte13    To: Deckard (#0)

Ha!

Vicomte13 posted on 2017-06-27 17:25:41   Reply   Private Reply

#3: Anthem    To: Deckard, Tooconservative, Vicomte13 (#0)

It seems that many Chinese businessmen believe that the Jewish are all very smart and rich. Mr. Hu had recently invested in the US and had a second home here and was a little worried that he might not be able to impress the American Jews. When he needed to see a doctor for the blurred vision he's been experiencing, naturally he sought out a Jewish ophthalmologist, Dr. Goldberg.

After the exam Dr. Goldberg informed Mr. Hu, "you have a cataract in your right eye".

Mr. Hu shook his head vigorously, and said, with some pride and pleasure at knowing something the Dr. didn't: "No, you wrong."

Dr. Goldberg: "Yes, you have cataract -- right eye."

Mr. Hu: "Dr. Goldberg not right. I right. Mr. Hu no have Catarac."

Dr. Goldberg, at little puzzled and a little exasperated this time said, "yes, right eye problem, you have cataract."

Mr. HU, very proudly puffing out his chest: "Yes, problem, you not right. I right. Mr. Hu no have Catarac. Mr. Hu have Rincon Continenter."

If that wasn't groan worthy enough, check out China and the Jews

Anthem posted on 2017-06-27 23:24:23   Reply   Private Reply

#4: Tooconservative    To: Anthem (#3)

These aren't even good ethnic jokes. Boo. Boo-o-o-o-o...

Tooconservative posted on 2017-06-27 23:48:37   Reply   Private Reply

#5: Anthem    To: Tooconservative (#4)

That's just a challenge to try again ;

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again.

"I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews."

Anthem posted on 2017-06-28 00:15:23   Reply   Private Reply

#6: Tooconservative    To: Anthem (#5)

Give up.

Tooconservative posted on 2017-06-28 08:27:05   Reply   Private Reply

#7: Anthem    To: Tooconservative (#4)

Nevah! (gasp)

What did the old Chinaman say to the old Jew to show what he thought they had in commom?






"I sail junk, too"


Anthem posted on 2017-06-28 10:46:29   Reply   Private Reply