VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has made one of his official, Popey announcements. (For our Protestant audience, a declaration from the pope is kinda like when Russell Moore tweets something; it carries a lot of weight for Catholics.)
Anyway, the pope declared that any time you've spent watching The View in this life will count as time served in purgatory.
"Frankly, if you watch those women bickering, that's punishment enough," said Pope Francis in a speech. He declared that your time will be tallied up by the angels, who will then mark that off as though you'd spent the time in purgatory.
The pope said the exchange rate for time is about 1 hour of The View for a "good six months" of purification in purgatory.
"Exchange rates fluctuate, of course, and it depends on the episode," he remarked. "An episode with Alyssa Milano or Chelsea Clinton is obviously worth a lot more than a regular episode."
The show's ratings saw a small bump after the announcement but ticked back down when Catholics realized they'd rather just spend time in purgatory.
#1: Tooconservative To: Deckard (#0)
This guy has all the holiness of Father Guido Sarducci.
Every time I see him, I think it's Ed McMahon with a new Publishers Clearing House ad.
Tooconservative posted on 2019-10-18 15:12:02 Reply Private Reply
#2: Vicomte13 To: Tooconservative (#1)
Vicomte13 posted on 2019-10-18 23:28:23 Reply Private Reply
#3: Tooconservative To: Vicomte13 (#2)
Tooconservative posted on 2019-10-19 00:02:03 Reply Private Reply
#4: Vicomte13 To: Tooconservative (#3)
Pope Lucifer, the first of his name.
Vicomte13 posted on 2019-10-20 01:16:31 Reply Private Reply
#5: Tooconservative To: Vicomte13 (#4)
It would have been a fun choice. As you may recall, I always admired the fiery bishop Lucifer of Cagliari, a passionate anti-Arian. But then, the current grand poobah of Rome took his hokey pope name from Francis of Assisi, who always seemed like a weirdo to me and most accounts of his life seem far more myth than fact and who was probably just another misfit or mentally ill person who was obsessed with religion and whose reputation was later embroidered and exploited by Rome for their own profit.
Tooconservative posted on 2019-10-20 04:34:36 Reply Private Reply
#6: Vicomte13 To: Tooconservative (#5)
Vicomte13 posted on 2019-10-20 13:45:57 Reply Private Reply
#7: Hondo68 To: Deckard (#0)
Hondo68 posted on 2019-10-20 16:13:52 Reply Private Reply
#8: Stoner To: Hondo68 (#7)
AGREE !!! Actually, I think having to watch The View would be the same as swimming in the Lake of Fire !!!
Stoner posted on 2019-10-20 16:29:53 Reply Private Reply
#9: Stoner To: Hondo68 (#7)
AGREE !!!
Actually, I think having to watch The View would be the same as swimming in the Lake of Fire !!!
Stoner posted on 2019-10-20 16:33:18 Reply Private Reply
#10: Stoner To: a k a stone (#8)
Sorry !!!
Stoner posted on 2019-10-20 21:47:48 Reply Private Reply
#11: Fred Mertz To: Stoner (#10)
Fred Mertz posted on 2019-10-20 22:47:00 Reply Private Reply