We need a new cuckoo clock

Source: AoS
Published: Feb 24, 2019
Author: some wise ass
Post Date: 2019-02-24 07:50:52 by Tooconservative
Views: 3757

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'.

Well, the hours passsed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed in the least......... Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

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#1: GrandIsland    To: Tooconservative (#0)

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in,

Fag humor... two husbands. Ruined any chance of humor for me

GrandIsland posted on 2019-02-24 08:28:53   Reply   Private Reply

#2: Tooconservative    To: GrandIsland (#1)

Fag humor... two husbands.

One husband, not two.

You're reading gaiety into this joke that isn't there. And the sneaky spouse was drinking margueritas, typically a woman's drink here in the States. Also, tripping on a coffee table drunk and farting is much funnier if it is a woman than a man.

Ask your lady to read it and see if she thinks it's two husbands.

Maybe you just have issues.

Tooconservative posted on 2019-02-24 09:26:46   Reply   Private Reply

#3: Gatlin    To: Tooconservative, GrandIsland (#2)

I thought it was a funny story.

I laughed.

Thanks for the humor.

Gatlin posted on 2019-02-24 09:35:30   Reply   Private Reply

#4: Fred Mertz    To: Tooconservative (#2)

You think he has a lady?

Oh yeah, yukon in a tutu.

Fred Mertz posted on 2019-02-24 14:29:35   Reply   Private Reply

#5: GrandIsland    To: Fred Mertz (#4)

Yukon

lol ~ he kicked your ass so bad, he’s still embedded in your snowflake brain.

GrandIsland posted on 2019-02-24 15:31:11   Reply   Private Reply

#6: Hondo68    To: GrandIsland, LF Gay Canaries, Fred Mertz (#5)

yukon wuz hacked!

Hondo68 posted on 2019-02-24 16:20:31   Reply   Private Reply

#7: Tooconservative    To: hondo68, GrandIsland, Fred Mertz (#6)

This was just a harmless joke thread.

It wasn't about yucko or his gay husband.

Maybe I should have stuck with my no-posting policy for LF.

F'in trolls. You can't help yourselves apparently.

Tooconservative posted on 2019-02-24 17:45:36   Reply   Private Reply

#8: GrandIsland    To: Tooconservative (#7)

After re-reading the joke... I can see your point. Just didn’t make sense that a drunk woman would trip and fart. Sounds like something a dude would do.

GrandIsland posted on 2019-02-24 17:57:48   Reply   Private Reply

#9: Tooconservative    To: GrandIsland (#8)

Here's the (2007 suicide) comic Richard Jeni, explaining about women's farting habits.

Tooconservative posted on 2019-02-24 19:01:20   Reply   Private Reply

#10: Fred Mertz    To: Tooconservative (#7)

F'in trolls. You can't help yourselves apparently.

We like red meat. It's too hard to resist.

Fred Mertz posted on 2019-02-24 21:38:33   Reply   Private Reply

#11: Tooconservative    To: Fred Mertz (#10)

This is why we can't have nice things.

Bedtime.

Tooconservative posted on 2019-02-24 21:47:02   Reply   Private Reply

#12: goldilucky    To: GrandIsland (#8)

Drunk dudettes trip and also fart.

goldilucky posted on 2019-02-25 00:14:32   Reply   Private Reply