Blood Alcohol Levels: What (You Think) You Can Get Away With

Source: http://www.cracked.com/funny-1095-blood-alcohol-content/
Published: Feb 1, 2018
Author: cracked
Post Date: 2018-02-01 13:32:21 by no gnu taxes
Views: 3649

Blood alcohol content, or BAC, is a measurement by volume of alcohol in your body. It can be taken with a blood test or with a breathalyzer. Here is a helpful chart for understanding what the numbers mean:

Just The Facts

0.914 is the world record for highest-ever recorded BAC that did not result in death. A 67 year-old Bulgarian man wandered into a hospital after being hit by a truck and they checked his BAC with multiple instruments, thinking that their equipment must be faulty.

The previous record was 0.80 held by a Lithuanian.

Eastern Europeans are not to be fucked with.

BAC Information

An individual's BAC is subject to many variables, and cannot be determined simply by counting the number of drinks consumed. Alcohol absorbs into your body in your intestines, and it absorbs at a constant rate, no matter how fast or slow you drink. Here are some handy facts to remember:

- Hydrating yourself by drinking non-alcoholic and non-caffeinated drinks throughout the night will slow your drinking pace, help prevent hangovers, and generally keep you from going overboard.

- Body mass is a big factor in determining tolerance. Bodies with lots of muscle can tolerate more alcohol than bodies with lots of fat.

- Men generally have higher tolerances than women because they naturally have more muscle mass (even if they only sit at home reading Cracked all day) and women naturally have more fat mass (boobies).

- It takes about an hour for a drink to take full effect, and about another hour for it to disappear from your system.

- Regular drinking can increase your tolerance. It's like exercise for your liver.

- Asians are genetically predisposed to having very low alcohol tolerance. Native Americans are predisposed to having very high tolerance. There are exceptions to each, of course.

- Breathalyzers can be bought for personal use either online, or at various gadget stores. They are actually a lot of fun at parties. Just don't let anyone try to beat the 0.914 record.

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#1: no gnu taxes    To: All (#0)

0.914 is the world record for highest-ever recorded BAC that did not result in death.

You are supposed to be dead without question at 0.40.

no gnu taxes posted on 2018-02-01 13:34:19   Reply   Private Reply


#2: VxH    To: no gnu taxes (#1)

I wonder if anybody ever documented the BAC vs number of head of livestock and/or interest rate involved in the transactions alleged by Alexander Solzewhatisname?

"Regarding the [REDACTED] who run inns, it is necessary to forbid them to lend money at interest, to serve vodka on credit, to then deprive the peasants of their livestock or any other things that are indispensable to them.”23
wi kispooks.com/wiki/Docum...g_the_reign_of_Nicholas_I

VxH posted on 2018-02-01 15:22:43   Reply   Private Reply


#3: VxH    To: no gnu taxes (#0)

"Kuryliw recalls seeing her grandmother for the first and last time when she visited the Soviet Union in the 1970s and listened to stories of the famine that she had never heard before.

One story her grandmother, Tatiana Menko, recounted was about how the local distillery made alcohol from grain, with large heaps of grain piled in front of the building, watched closely by armed guards.

Starving Ukrainians lined up to get the chaff from the grain, leftover bits not fit to be called food."
www.faminegenoci de.com/resources/remember.htm

State Distilleries.

Hmm. Got a dictionary defining who was running those? Must've taken some specialized expertise.

Probably still does.

VxH posted on 2018-02-01 16:21:38   Reply   Private Reply


#4: GrandIsland    To: no gnu taxes (#1)

You are supposed to be dead without question at 0.40.

The "number" isn't as important as the individuals habitual tolerance.

I've arrested many between .30 and .45, and they can still preform all roadside tests. I've also seen young dumb, millennial college students need hospitalization, at a .25

GrandIsland posted on 2018-02-01 20:04:29   Reply   Private Reply


#5: paraclete    To: no gnu taxes (#0)

What (You Think) You Can Get Away With

You can get away with a lot until you drive into tree, you can drive with one eye closed to offset the double vision effect, but judgement is definately impared particularly in relation to speed, better to restrict yourself

paraclete posted on 2018-02-01 20:09:46   Reply   Private Reply


#6: VxH    To: no gnu taxes (#1)

BTW, Guess where/when Adolphe Coors brewed his apprenticeship?

Which of these Adolphes is just like the others?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All...te_Universelle#Presidents

Anybody?
Anybody?
Buuuuuuhler?

LOL. Can't make this shyte up. Seems Adolph was a rite popular name among the [redacted] before 1933.

VxH posted on 2018-02-01 20:59:23   Reply   Private Reply


#7: no gnu taxes    To: GrandIsland (#4)

I've arrested many between .30 and .45, and they can still preform all roadside tests.

I couldn't pass many of those tests completely sober.

no gnu taxes posted on 2018-02-02 08:44:38   Reply   Private Reply


#8: Fred Mertz    To: VxH (#6)

Fred Mertz posted on 2018-02-02 10:36:28   Reply   Private Reply


#9: VxH    To: Fred Mertz (#8)

"A. B——v has told how executions were carried out at Adak – a camp on the Pechora River. They would take the opposition members ‘with their things’ out of the camp compound on a prisoner transport at night. And outside the compound stood the small house of the Third Section. The condemned men were taken into a room one at a time, and there the camp guards sprang on them. Their mouths were stuffed with something soft and their arms were bound with cords behinds their backs. Then they were led out into the courtyard, where harnessed carts were waiting. The bound prisoners were piled on the carts, from five to seven at a time, and driven off to the ‘Gorka’ – the camp cemetery. On arrival they were tipped into big pits that had already been prepared and buried alive. Not out of brutality, no. It had been ascertained that when dragging and lifting them, it was much easier to cope with [DRUNKEN] living people than with corpses.

“This work went on for many nights at Adak.

“And that is how the moral-political unity of our Party was achieved.”
- -Alexander Solzenwhatizname

VxH posted on 2018-02-02 12:41:38   Reply   Private Reply


#10: GrandIsland    To: no gnu taxes (#7)

I couldn't pass many of those tests completely sober.

Yes you can. A trained cop is looking for certain things. Like the Romberg test. You stand feet together, head tilted back so your face is facing the sky... EYES CLOSED, hands to your sides. Do that for what you feel is 30 seconds.

Now, ALL people will have movement, even sober. You will move front to back a certain amount (some more than others, while sober) BUT only intoxicated people will move in a circular motion.

GrandIsland posted on 2018-02-02 19:33:30   Reply   Private Reply