Is Ted Cruz ‘Lucifer In The Flesh’? We Asked A Satanist

Source: Huffington Post
Published: Apr 28, 2016
Author: Sam Stein
Post Date: 2016-04-28 15:56:56 by Willie Green
Views: 1589

He says Ted Cruz is God’s problem, not Satan’s.

A campaign dominated by big and difficult debates witnessed, perhaps, its most perplexing and certainly its most spiritual one yet on Thursday morning.

Is Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) actually Lucifer?

It’s a question prompted not by conspiracy theorists who’ve wondered whether Cruz is the Zodiac Killer finally stepping out in public after decades in hiding. Rather, the charge was leveled by someone with a bit more gravitas: former House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), who told students at Stanford University that the Texas Republican was “Lucifer in the flesh“ in addition to being “a miserable son of a bitch.”

Cruz brushed off the insults at a press conference on Thursday morning, seeming at times to welcome the animus of a former lawmaker who embodied the Republican establishment.

But what about the substance of the charge, dammit? Is there, indeed, something satanic to the senator? Do Republicans in Congress see the dark threads of Luciferianism in their colleague from Texas?

To get to the bottom of this, HuffPost called up Lucien Greaves, a spokesperson for the Satanic Temple. His response was that Boehner was basically full of it, trying to absolve the worst of Christianity by calling him a product of Satanism.

“It is past time we stop blaming the activities of the upholders of the Christian faith on a Satanic philosophy,” Greaves told me. “Boehner is trying to convey that if it is bad and he disagrees with it, it is of Satan and Lucifer, and if it is of good, it is of Christ. That is what is problematic with the Christian ideology.”

“I don’t think Boehner is necessarily saying that he actually thinks Cruz is a Satanist because I just don’t think he is thinking that hard about the issues,” Greaves added. “These are simple-minded people. Our situation in U.S. politics is much worse than you can imagine.”

Lest you think that Greaves is a closet Cruz fan, lashing out at Boehner as a way to boost his candidate of choice, fret not. He despises the Texas Republican.  

“I think he is a real disaster. I think he is possibly one of the worst. I think we have been on a race to the bottom for a long time now, and you keep thinking it can’t get worse and people would wise up after a clown like [Sarah] Palin or George Bush. But then you see people lining up around Ted Cruz.”

Post Comment   Private Reply

#1: ConservingFreedom    To: Willie Green (#0)

former House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), who told students at Stanford University that the Texas Republican was “Lucifer in the flesh“ in addition to being “a miserable son of a bitch.”

Cruz has all the right enemies.

ConservingFreedom posted on 2016-04-28 16:10:51   Reply   Private Reply

#2: Vicomte13    To: ConservingFreedom (#1)

Cruz has all the right enemies.

But he doesn't have nearly enough friends to be President.

Vicomte13 posted on 2016-04-28 16:17:27   Reply   Private Reply

#3: BorisY    To: Vicomte13 (#2)

trumped

stole
his
wind

love
boris

ps

hi
jacked
bobbled
his
crew

BorisY posted on 2016-04-28 16:33:49   Reply   Private Reply

#4: nolu chan    To: Willie Green (#0)

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/ted-cruz-college-roommate-craig-mazin-2016/

Craig Mazin

As a freshman, I would get into senior parties because I was Ted's roommate. OUT OF PITY. He was that widely loathed. It's his superpower.

11:39 AM - 10 Jan 2016

- - - - -

Craig Mazin

Second memory: Ted would talk about the women he thought he had a shot with. Pretty sure he remained untouched by a woman those four years.

11:43 AM - 10 Jan 2016

- - - - -

Craig Mazin

Ted would leave a greasy film on everything. My friend Erik dubbed the substance "Cruhz," rhymes with "scuzz." Now there's Cruhz on my TV.

11:45 AM - 10 Jan 2016

- - - - -

... Several fellow classmates who asked that their names not be used described the young Cruz with words like “abrasive,” "intense," “strident,” “crank,” and “arrogant." Four independently offered the word “creepy,” with some pointing to Cruz’s habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived.

“I would end up fielding the [girls’] complaints: 'Could you please keep your roommate out of our hallway?'" Mazin says.

- - - - -

Craig Mazin

Getting emails blaming me for not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. What kind of monster do you think I am? A really prescient one?

10:09 PM - 14 Jan 2016

- - - - -

Craig Mazin

My freshman year college roommate Ted Cruz is going to be elected Senator. In case I hadn't made it clear, he's also a huge asshole.

6:03 AM - 26 Oct 2012

- - - - -

Craig Mazin

Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

9:35 AM - 13 Apr 2016

nolu chan posted on 2016-04-28 18:09:01   Reply   Private Reply

#5: SOSO    To: Willie Green, All (#0)

“I think he is a real disaster. I think he is possibly one of the worst. I think we have been on a race to the bottom for a long time now, and you keep thinking it can’t get worse and people would wise up after a clown like [Sarah] Palin or George Bush. But then you see people lining up around Ted Cruz.”

I guess that is why this Satanist leader favors Hillary.

SOSO posted on 2016-04-28 18:09:09   Reply   Private Reply