ASK FRED MERTZ

Source: None
Published: Feb 27, 2013
Author: .
Post Date: 2013-02-27 23:44:19 by A K A Stone
Views: 83589

Fred has been around the block a few times. He has lots of wisdom and would love to answer any questions you have about life.

So go ahead and ask away.

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#95: Mudboy Slim    To: mcgowanjm (#89)

"McGowan's Tune"
(To be sung to R.E.M.'s "Man on the Moon")

Barry's Prez'dent...Dem's the facts of Life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Axelrod, he wears the Rovian mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Monopoly, twenty one, checkers, and chess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Hillary Clinton in her Sunday best. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
We like Change and we need Hope. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
DeeCee keeps borrowin' but our country's broke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Terrie, did you hear about this one? Tell me, what's the deal with Big Guv?
Hey Terrie, why you goofin' on Lincoln? Hey Nation, why're we so damned dumb?!!
If you believe this country's headed fer ruin...(McGowan Tune!!)
If you believe Big Guv'ment's what we need, then sosh'lists shall rule!!

Terrie starts talkin' and it sounds so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Networks they seem to be gettin' wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Iran is troubling 'cuz nukes are in their grasp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Is our President really up to the task? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Terrie, did you hear about this one? Tell me, why you dissin' on Rush?!!
Hey Terrie, are you workin' fer Soros? Hey Nation, are we losing touch?
If you believe our country's headed fer ruin...(McGowan Tune!!)
If you believe Big Guv'ment's what we need, then lawyers shall rule!!...COME ON!!

Here's a little nugget fer the Freedom-believer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Here's a little post fer our Liberty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Guv'ment must stop spendin' like drunk sailors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
David Axelrod, he is a Rovian A$$. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Terrie, do you hear me sing this one? Tell me, why you dissin' on Rush?!!
Hey Terrie, don't you wanna just save US? Hey Terrie, spending way too much!!
If you believe, our country's headed fer ruin...(McGowan Tune!!)
If you believe Big Guv'ment's what we need, then Tyranny's cool?!!......COOL?!!

If you believe, this country's headed fer ruin...(McGowan Tune!!)
If you believe Big Guv'ment's what we need, then sosh'lists shall rule!!
If you believe, our country's headed fer ruin...(McGowan Tune!!)
If you believe Big Guv'ment's what we need, then lawyers shall rule!!...
If you believe, our country's headed fer ruin...(McAuliffe Tune!!)
If you believe Big Guv'ment's what we need, then Tyranny's cool?!!......COOL?!!

Mudboy Slim (27 January 2009)

Mudboy Slim posted on 2013-03-04 14:11:29   Reply   Private Reply

#96: mel    To: Logsplitter (#29)

lol. Everyone likes hot tubs. I haven't a clue what you're going on about though. Regardless, enjoy your year.

mel posted on 2013-06-06 12:28:19   Reply   Private Reply

#97: A K A Stone    To: All (#0)

Fred is there any Gold in Fort Knox?

A K A Stone posted on 2015-09-07 10:51:18   Reply   Private Reply

#98: Mudboy Slim    To: A K A Stone (#61)

"Oh you don't own property. The shut up you shouldnt be able to vote."

While Land Ownership used to be a prerequisite for voting, I believe this was/is unjustifiably exclusionary.

However, I do believe that a justification can be made to exclude taxpayer-funded leeches from the ballot box. That is, all taxpayers are, in essence, Owners of the Country and thereby worthy of having a say in choosing who has the authority to make big decisions regarding Federal outlays. If you are a NetRecipient of Federal largesse, you are more a Client or Customer and should leave the decisions about how to run the country to those of US who are paying the tab. Exceptions are, of course, the Military and First Responders...if you are putting your life on the line to defend this Nation, you get a say. But Federal bureaucRATS have been milking the DeeCee Swamp for almost a century and need to find a REAL JOB if they want to vote...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-01 05:35:11   Reply   Private Reply

#99: Fred Mertz    To: A K A Stone (#97)

Fred is there any Gold in Fort Knox?

No, just nerve agent antidote in refrigerated storage units. But they like to make believe its gold.

Fred Mertz posted on 2021-08-03 10:40:17   Reply   Private Reply

#100: A K A Stone    To: Fred Mertz (#99)

Are you sure Fred?

A K A Stone posted on 2021-08-03 11:22:08   Reply   Private Reply

#101: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#99)

Will Joe Biden STILL be POTUS come the Summer of 2024?

And a followup, por favor...
Assuming Biden is NOT the DemocRATZ nominee for POTUS in 2024, who will be? The charismatic Kamala? SuperStud Andy Cuomo? Hillary (back from the grave)? Dr. Fauci?

How about Terrie "the RAT-punk FEYrie" McAuliffe?

Quite sincerely...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-06 13:38:52   Reply   Private Reply

#102: Mudboy Slim    To: mcgowanjm (#4)

"...we're still here."

Indeed we are. My mother's mother's mother's mom was Anglicized in a School for re-educating captured Indian children...then she married a French fur trader and started spreading her genes into hundreds of folks who RACISTS would call "mostly- White"...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-06 13:50:36   Reply   Private Reply

#103: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#7)

"We used to visit our grandmother's home on the reservation..."

That is so very cool...you are blessed to have such experiences. Not sure if you have young'uns or neices and nephews, but recording a video of you describing this experience would probably become a treasured keepsake for those you eventually--many, many years from now--leave behind.

Not that it's any of my business, but if you ever have more to share on that, I wouldn't mind a ping.

Regards...MUD

BTW...good to see you up and kicking...hope you and yours are in good health.

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-06 14:01:18   Reply   Private Reply

#104: Mudboy Slim    To: sneakypete (#21)

"No, you're not."

LOL...Hey there, Pete...never asked you, but do YOU have Native-American ancestry?

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-06 14:08:38   Reply   Private Reply

#105: Fred Mertz    To: Mudboy Slim (#104)

Petey has a tomahawk for your honky butt.

Fred Mertz posted on 2021-08-07 22:24:33   Reply   Private Reply

#106: Fred Mertz    To: Mudboy Slim (#101)

Will Joe Biden STILL be POTUS come the Summer of 2024?

The Magic Eight Ball says, "It is doubtful."

Fred Mertz posted on 2021-08-07 22:26:14   Reply   Private Reply

#107: Fred Mertz    To: Mudboy Slim (#101)

Assuming Biden is NOT the DemocRATZ nominee for POTUS in 2024, who will be? The charismatic Kamala? SuperStud Andy Cuomo? Hillary (back from the grave)? Dr. Fauci?

How about Terrie "the RAT-punk FEYrie" McAuliffe?

I can't predict this one, blue face.

It could be the guy from Arkansas whose name escapes me at the moment.

Fred Mertz posted on 2021-08-07 22:29:16   Reply   Private Reply

#108: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#105)

Sneaky or stinky? He ping-pongs betwixt the two, at least with me.

Regards...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-08 13:33:58   Reply   Private Reply

#109: Mudboy Slim    To: sneakypete (#108)

Whazzup, ol'-timer?

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-08 13:34:56   Reply   Private Reply

#110: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#107)

Regards...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-12 17:30:12   Reply   Private Reply

#111: Mudboy Slim    To: mel (#96)

Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way."

(Compliments of the Linux Fortune program.)

Good to see you, mel...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2021-08-16 11:49:53   Reply   Private Reply

#112: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#106)

Inquiring minds wanna kNOw...HOO will be the RAT-nominee 4 POTUS in 2024, Fred? CertainLEE not TraitorJoe Depends or VP KamelToez HarA$$her...but HOO will DemRATZ send up as their sacrificial lamb in the face of the inevitable TrumpTsunami of November 2024?!!

The Hildabeest? That goofy witch hoo still thinks she is the Governor of Georgia? BER- NIE!!!??? Liz "Whiteface Squaw" Warren? Pete the BootyJudger? Or how about the HildaBeest rising from the dead to lose yet again? Michelle "MyBelle" Obama? Oprah?

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-01 06:34:58   Reply   Private Reply

#113: Mudboy Slim    To: A K A Stone (#0)

I hear tell that Fred has wooden teeth...can EWE confirm or deny this rumor?

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-01 06:37:56   Reply   Private Reply

#114: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#106)

Mr. Mertz...can you please confirm or deny...are your dentures made of wood?

Happy New Year, old-timer...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-01 06:43:04   Reply   Private Reply

#115: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#106)

The Father of our Country had wooden dentures, too...Fred, did you have your dentures made of wood to honor George Washington, that notorious slave owner and distiller of EVIL spirits and Mass- Murderer of innocent British invaders just doing their jobs to help enslave the 13 colonies?

And remember, OldMan Mertz, EWE R under Oath...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-01 07:02:33   Reply   Private Reply

#116: Vinny    To: Mudboy Slim (#113)

I hear tell that Fred has wooden teeth...can EWE confirm or deny this rumor?

Not sure about his teeth, but I hear his cellmate said he has a wooden azzhole.

Vinny posted on 2022-01-01 08:51:30   Reply   Private Reply

#117: Mudboy Slim    To: Vinny (#116)

Hey now, Fred is one of the few folks I have met In Real Life...and while he is a Vet and probably used to barracks life, I never got that prisoner/mansex practitioner vibe off him, but I will let Fred answer 4 hisself. It's his thread and his expertise we appear 2 B seeking...lol.

.

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-01 14:43:37   Reply   Private Reply

#118: Vinny    To: Mudboy Slim (#117)

Hey now, Fred is one of the few folks I have met In Real Life

My condolences, but the fact remains; ALL degenerate gamblers have wooden azzholes. Mertz is no exception.

Vinny posted on 2022-01-02 20:05:09   Reply   Private Reply

#119: Mudboy Slim    To: Vinny, , Fred Mertz (#118)

Degenerate gambler? Ex-con? Fred, I just know you IRL as a patriotic anti-Slick Willie DeeCee FReeper from a quarter-century ago. I will let Mr. Mertz speak to these other allegations as he sees fit....

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-03 04:50:05   Reply   Private Reply

#120: Mudboy Slim    To: Vinny (#118)

And as for the wooden azzholez, well, you can sorta tell Fredz dentures are wood, but how did you come to discover Mr. Mertz' OTHER wooden body part, Vinny?

Not that there's anything WRONG with that...

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-03 04:58:01   Reply   Private Reply

#121: Vinny    To: Mudboy Slim (#120)

how did you come to discover Mr. Mertz' OTHER wooden body part, Vinny?

His cellmate made the claim. Don't you read your own threads?

Vinny posted on 2022-01-03 07:47:17   Reply   Private Reply

#122: Mudboy Slim    To: Vinny (#121)

Rofl...ol' Fred has some 'splain' 2 doo...lol.

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-03 09:48:02   Reply   Private Reply

#123: Mudboy Slim    To: A K A Stone, Fred Mertz, sneaky Pete, holdilocky, Badeye, BufordP, ironman, kristin, holdonnow (#0)

Views: 42578....we need to jump that over 50K, Fred...where EWE bee?

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-03 09:50:17   Reply   Private Reply

#124: Mudboy Slim    To: goldilucky, kristinn, BufordP, stand watie, Race Bannon, tgslTakoma, AuntB, Rebel Gal, Landry, sneakepete (#123)

Howdy...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-03 09:56:03   Reply   Private Reply

#125: Fred Mertz    To: Vinny (#118)

ALL degenerate gamblers have wooden azzholes. Mertz is no exception.

It has been a few months since I've been to the track. IIRC I came out ahead $70 which covered my gas and beer. I don't bet online,so it's hard to be a degenerate gambler.

Fred Mertz posted on 2022-01-04 19:22:29   Reply   Private Reply

#126: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#125)

Good to see you, Mr. Mertz...

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-04 22:52:00   Reply   Private Reply

#127: Mudboy Slim    To: All (#98)

"Federal bureaucRATZ have been milking the DeeCee Swamp for almost a century and need to find a REAL JOB if they want to vote..."

An idea whose time has come...

DEFUND the DeeCee Swamp...Starve Dem Marxists into submission. RATZ NEED WeThePeople, but WeThePeople do NOT need Dem DeeCee RAT-moronz telling US how to live like nice little Commie RAT bassTURDZ!!

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-04 23:10:55   Reply   Private Reply

#128: Vinny    To: Fred Mertz (#126)

Hey Mertz, glad to see you're out of the Stir. FWIW, I like Seabiscuit in the San Antonio Handicap tomorrow.

BTW, did that chubby thief you lent $2k to ever make good?

Vinny posted on 2022-01-07 13:18:34   Reply   Private Reply

#129: Fred Mertz    To: Vinny (#128)

BTW, did that chubby thief you lent $2k to ever make good?

It has been so long ago. I think Tubby paid me back $500 of it; better than nothing.

Fred Mertz posted on 2022-01-16 05:11:15   Reply   Private Reply

#130: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz, TLBSHOWwall2wall (#129)

Hey Fred, I miss TLBHOW and wonder what ever became of him. I think his real name was Tim, but I haven't heard hide nor hair from him for almost two decades. Does he still exist on, not IN, this Planet?

Follow-up question, Mr. Mertz...of all the old KlownPu$$ies who used to matriculate on this site, grading them as half-rational proponents for whatever cause or viewpoint they supported, which KP poster's voice is most missed on this site?

Regards...MUD

BTW...wall2wall playoff football from the comfort of my couch...God is Great!!

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-16 06:22:57   Reply   Private Reply

#131: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#8)

Nightly flashlight inspections of your BUTTox, looking for a worm infestation. Accepting that THAT was most certainly probably TooMuchInfo, would you kindly expound on your experience and enlighten WeThePeople with an even more disgusting, detailed description, Fred?

Thanks in advance...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-16 11:31:27   Reply   Private Reply

#132: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#8)

And how many TIMEZ per night did OldManMertz conduct these so-called "Deeep Anal Inspections"?!

Enquiring Mindz WOOD like 2 know...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-16 12:01:38   Reply   Private Reply

#133: Mudboy Slim    To: All (#132)

Sooo...Philly vs the BradyAneerz...can they BOTH lose?

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-16 12:03:36   Reply   Private Reply

#134: Mudboy Slim    To: All (#133)

I can NEVER sincereLEE root for the Eagles to ever win, not since those loser Scumbagz derived so much pleasure from "The BodyBag Game". .I spit in the direction of Philadelphia, which is directly towards my caddy-cornet neighbor, PhillyBill, the Lib'ral DemocRAT.. Lol....missed him, though...snow is kicking up a bit...and MUD can't SPIT near as far as he could when he was a few years less mature and seasoned...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-01-16 12:11:36   Reply   Private Reply

#135: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz, tankumo, (#129)

"Can Michelle Obama beat Trump for the Presidency in 2024?"

THAT is exactly the sorta question you need to ask Fred Mertz...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-04-20 09:06:39   Reply   Private Reply

#136: Fred Mertz    To: Mudboy Slim (#130)

Hey Fred, I miss TLBHOW and wonder what ever became of him. I think his real name was Tim, but I haven't heard hide nor hair from him for almost two decades. Does he still exist on, not IN, this Planet?

His first name is Todd. I visited him, his wife and daughter way back when.

He owes me money, so he is a man without honor.

Fred Mertz posted on 2022-04-23 04:50:38   Reply   Private Reply

#137: Fred Mertz    To: Mudboy Slim, tankumo (#135)

"Can Michelle Obama beat Trump for the Presidency in 2024?"

The real question is, "Which one has a bigger dick?"

Fred Mertz posted on 2022-04-23 04:53:38   Reply   Private Reply

#138: Fred Mertz    To: Mudboy Slim (#131)

Nightly flashlight inspections of your BUTTox, looking for a worm infestation. Accepting that THAT was most certainly probably TooMuchInfo, would you kindly expound on your experience and enlighten WeThePeople with an even more disgusting, detailed description, Fred?

I call it fatherly love and concern for his children's health.

You might have a perverted mind. I was under age ten.

Fred Mertz posted on 2022-04-23 11:57:18   Reply   Private Reply

#139: Fred Mertz    To: Mudboy Slim (#134)

I think we took some liquid medicine that made us defecate red stools.

Anything else you want to know, blue face?

Fred Mertz posted on 2022-04-23 12:02:55   Reply   Private Reply

#140: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#137)

Heh heh heh...no comment.

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-04-23 12:40:10   Reply   Private Reply

#141: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#138)

Yes, reckon I do have a mind that is somewhat Abby normal, but I was just trying to get a rise outta you...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-04-23 12:41:09   Reply   Private Reply

#142: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#139)

TMI...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-04-23 12:41:28   Reply   Private Reply

#143: Mudboy Slim    To: Fred Mertz (#139)

"Black XII"

"New Bridge to FReedom!!"
(To be sung to Led Zeppelin's "Stairway To Heaven")

(TheBigMan on twelve-string...MUD on flute...)

RATZ're a Party who's sure...
All Left's Minions Are Dolts...
They're defilin' Right's New Bridge to FReedom.
When folks first hear, they know...
Media WHORE'd is RATZ HO!!
HollyWeirdSlick will git what he raped for.
Ooh~ooh~ooh Ooh~ooh~ooh~ooh~ooh.
And RATZ're lyin' 'bout Joe Biden's Treason.
There are signs Left Shall Fall!!
'Cuz Truth haunts Left fer sure...
And you know Marxists' words have no meaning.
In a cave, reading books,
There's a Patriot who sings...
"Lib'rals, all of RATZ Schems are PURE TREASON!!"

Oooh...it makes me wonder.
Ooooh...don't it make YOU wonder?!

There's a feelin' I get...
When I look at the Left...
And my spirit starts crying "They're dimwits!!"
Yes, MUDZ thoughts Right Shall Sing...
Rings of smoke from MUDZ cave...
Heed the voices of those who HEAR Limbaugh!!

Oooh...Rush makes me wonder.
Oooh...don't Rush make Left shudder?!

Next, MUD whispered that soon...
"If Right all sings in tune...
Next, TheDonald shall lead us with Reason!!"
And a new day will dawn...
For those who stand strong...
And our children will burst out in laughter!!
(Does Anybody Remember Laughter?!)

Oh~ooh whoah~ooh whoah~ooh whoah~ooh
Whoah~hooh~oh~ohh.

If there's a question in your head, folks,
Must GET Informed now...
Left's just attractive to RATZ Lazy!!
Yes, there are two paths you can go by,
And, my Lib'ral FRiends,
Folks, there's still time to change the road you're on!!

Folks, it makes me wonder.
Ahhh~ah-oh~hoh.

The Left is drownin' and RATZ don't know...
Just where Ol' JOEZ goin'!!
DeSantis's callin' you to join him!!
Sweet ladies, can you hear Left's Lies Flow?!
And did you know...
Yer FReedom lies with the RighteousRightWi~hahh~ah-ohh?

And as we Fight DemLib'ral HO's...
Dutch Reagan's larger than Left knows.
There walks a Nation Strong and Bold...
Who knows what's Right...WE want to show...
How America's future is GOLD...
And if you listen very hard...
MUDZ tunes will come to you at last.
When all are O.N.E. and Guv'ment's small-yeah...
'Cuz Syntaurz Rock and Right Shall Ro__ll!!

And Right's Building a New Bridge to FReedom!!

Mudboy Slim

1 posted on 11/15/2002, 4:06:27 PM by Mudboy Slim

Updated today...MUD

Mudboy Slim posted on 2022-05-12 15:49:45   Reply   Private Reply

#144: Deckard    To: Mudboy Slim, Fred Mertz (#141)

Did you watch the Derby on Sunday? The winner was asked if he planned to visit Biden at the White House.

He replied "If I wanted to see a horse's ass, I would have finished second."

Deckard posted on 2022-05-12 22:25:01   Reply   Private Reply