Argh, one of the problems in blogging here at Wonkette on Wednesday mornings during the summer of a midterm election year is that you sometimes feel obliged to cover the boring pissant primaries that happened the previous evening. So, uh, last nights nonsense went down in Idaho, and, uh, Idaho is not the sort of word that attracts all of your valuable eyeballs and Google searches and clicky clicks, so, lets see, whats the angle
oh right SARAH PALIN. Sarah Palin single-handedly saved Nancy Pelosis job and now shes going to get involved in a hott sexx affair in South Carolina. (IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, YOU VULTURES??) Anyway, there is one reason why you or anyone else outside of Idaho (and three-quarters of the people living there, actually) would care about this so-called Vaughn Ward, and that is because he was endorsed by Sarah Palin, who was wearing somebody elses clothes at the time. He also did a bunch of hilarious stuff, like claim in a debate that Puerto Rico wasnt under Americas colonial sway, and get the awesome nickname Young Gun bestowed upon him by the NRCC, because of his money-raising prowess. Then last night he went and got his ass beat in the primary by Raul Labrador, an actual Puerto Rican. Labrador will now probably lose to Democrat Walt Minnick, who is super-conservative and votes against literally everything on the Democratic agenda and actually got endorsed by the Tea Party, but, uh, big tent?
But dont think that Sarah Palin is dwelling on the stench of political death she left behind her in Idaho! Now she is flying into South Carolina to deal with the very important blogger-on-candidate sex scandal! Well, not literally flying, as she fears that she would lose her last remaining garments and be forced to give a press conference wearing a potato sack. But she did write a long, rambling thing on her Facebook page about the scandal, because Nikki Haley is another doomed candidate that she supports. This diatribe, which literally begins with the sentence Well, whaddya know, is well worth reading, if only as some sort of exercise to see if it would be possible to create a parody of Palins writing style that would be distinguishable from the original. (SPOILER: It would not be possible.) Sarah doesnt think Nikki did it with the gross blogger, for the record, and stands fully behind Haley and against the attacks of the bloggers and the lamestream media (she says this for real, without irony), which means that the sex video of the two will be posted online within an hour and Haleys career will be over, because Sarah Palin destroys everything she touches.
But what do Palins many Facebook fans think of all this? Lets hear some wisdom from the American people!
Can we deny Pamis wisdom? It does indeed figure !!!!!!!!, does it not?