LOS ANGELES - A GOP state senator with a staunch anti-gay voting record came out of the closet Monday and asked for his constituents' prayers. "I am gay," state Sen. Roy Ashburn (R-Bakersfield) said, breaking his silence on a conservative AM talk radio show based in his working-class California district.
"Those are the words that have been so difficult for me for so long."
The admission ended mounting speculation that began last week when Ashburn was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving near a gay nightclub he reportedly patronized in Sacramento, Calif.
A divorced father of four, Ashburn said he was wracked with "restless nights" and "soul searching" since the Wednesday arrest and felt he owed his constituents an explanation.
"I've always believed that I could keep my personal life personal and my public life public. But through my own actions, I have made my personal life public," he said on AM 1180 KERN Radio.
"I felt with my heart that you know being gay did not affect, wouldn't affect, how I did my job," he said.
He defended his ironclad opposition to gay rights, saying his votes reflected the majority views of his district.
Ashburn, 55, voted against an effort to recognize gay marriages performed legally in other states and last year opposed a bill to establish May 22 as Harvey Milk Day in honor of the slain gay-rights activist.
"I felt my duty - and I still feel this way - is to represent my constituents, not my own point of view, not my own internal conflict," the politician, who will be termed out this year after 14 years in statewide office, said.
"There's never been a doubt in my mind on the position of the vast majority of the people in my district."
Asked about his Christian faith and whether he now will live an openly gay life, Ashburn was ambiguous.
"I would ask people to pray for me. My faith is very clear and very firm," he said.
"I pray to God that I can find peace, and I want to go back to work in the Senate and work hard for the people who sent me to the legislature."
He said he no longer plans to run for Congress.
