1 Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice. 2 In Style are the clothes that still fit.
3 You dont need anger management. You need people to stop pi$$ing you off.
4 Your people skills are just fine. Its your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
5 The biggest lie you tell yourself is, I dont need to write that down. Ill remember it.
6 On time is when you get there.
7 Even duct tape cant fix stupid but it sure does muffle the sound.
8 It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
9 Lately, Youve noticed people your age are so much older than you.
10 Growing old should have taken longer.
11 Aging has slowed you down, but it hasnt shut you up.
12 You still havent learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
And one more:
One for the road means peeing before you leave the house.