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Title: Top Gear in America's redneck country
Source:
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URL Source: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/dr ... ece?token=null&offset=0&page=1
Published: Feb 12, 2010
Author: Richard Hammond
Post Date: 2010-02-12 17:24:41 by Skip Intro
Keywords: None
Views: 13177
Comments: 33
Top Gear in America's redneck country Of all the hair-raising escapades in the show, being chased by murderous Traditionally, the question asked of me when I meet anyone for the first time has been: “So what’s the best car you’ve ever driven?” Recently there’s been a change, the new question running thus: “Did you really [insert ridiculous moment from Top Gear] or was it made up for the telly?” And for roughly a quarter of a year, maybe more, the new question was: “Were you really chased out of town by those American rednecks, or was it made up for the telly?” In the programme in question, we wanted to know if it was possible to buy a car and drive across a chunk of the USA for less money than the cost of traditional “fly-drive” schemes offered by holiday companies. It’s a pretty lengthy story, but in the course of our trip, by way of an entertaining diversion to keep up our spirits during an especially lengthy drive, we had devised a plan whereby we would each try to get the others killed. We would each decorate the others’ vehicles with slogans we felt might stir up the feelings of the locals, cause maximum discomfort to each driver and raise a laugh for the viewer at home. And so, in a broad, dusty lay-by at the side of a road leading to Alabama, we parked up and set to with the paintbrushes, spray cans and stencils. On the side of Jeremy’s ageing, beaten-up Trans Am I painted the legend, “Country music is rubbish”. Jeremy had adorned the flanks of James’s 1970s Cadillac with “Hillary for president” and “Nascar sucks”. I laughed at the slogans with Jeremy as we stood under the tall, smooth-barked trees and sheltered from the southern sun. James was still finishing the lettering on the side of my white pick-up truck and I didn’t want to spoil the moment by peeking before his work was done. Eventually, with a confident flourish of the brush, and a grin, James indicated that he had completed his masterpiece. We stepped up and surveyed. Along the side of my truck James had painted just four short words: “Man love rules OK”. Well, fair enough: it was perhaps the strongest of our three examples of automotive artwork, but nevertheless, we all felt that we would cause, at worst, a ripple of offence no deeper than that which might be generated among the residents of Cornwall by three visitors driving their cars through Truro with “Cream teas are rubbish” painted down the sides. We covered three miles before being placed in genuine fear for our lives. Things started well enough. Our convoy included the three cars being filmed, and, naturally, the cars and jeeps carrying the film crew and their equipment. It was a very hot day and every vehicle travelled with windows down and its occupants’ elbows out — not least James’s, since Jeremy and I had disabled his air-conditioning system with a crowbar at a campsite the previous evening. After just a mile or two, we spotted a road sign telling us we were in Alabama, and we pulled over to film it. The sign was riddled with bullet holes. And not the pathetic little air-rifle pellet holes you might occasionally see in the UK; this thing was peppered with shotgun blasts and a few larger, gaping wounds inflicted, I could only imagine, by slugs from high-powered hunting rifles. We were definitely not in Cornwall. A mile or so later, we pulled into what Jeremy seemed keen to call a “gas station”. The crew cars pulled up in a line to one side of us. As I rested a hand on the hot metal of the petrol pump nozzle and readied myself to heave it up and slot it into the car, a movement across the forecourt made me stop. A woman — presumably a local — was walking towards us. She had a long, rangy frame and looked to be made of wire and gristle underneath the plaid shirt and jeans. Maybe 50 years old with yellowing hair and brown teeth. “Y’all queers trying to see how long you can last in a hick town?”
Alabamans was the scariest says presenter in new book
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#1. To: Murron (#0)
“Y’all queers trying to see how long you can last in a hick town?” Murron, do you live in Alabama?
They got what they asked for,and they then complain about it?
"I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago." (Sarah Palin,Dec 2009) ************************************ DID Palin say or write these things or not? (Me) I don't know or F ing care. (Mad Dog posted on 2009-12-26 16:36:33 ET,post # 105 http://libertysflame.com/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=5510&Disp=114#C114)
People tell me it's a great car show. I've never seen it myself.
I;ve always wanted to ask you if you were Lug Nut @ FR...
I’ll see what I can do about posting a more current pic, if you really want one. Badeye posted on 2003-03-15 09:26:22 ET Reply Trace It's not really about cars so much as it is about British humor that uses cars as the excuse to be on the air. They do bizarre stuff and do road tests on cars nobody any of us knows will ever even be able to test drive,never mind buy.
"I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago." (Sarah Palin,Dec 2009) ************************************ DID Palin say or write these things or not? (Me) I don't know or F ing care. (Mad Dog posted on 2009-12-26 16:36:33 ET,post # 105 http://libertysflame.com/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=5510&Disp=114#C114)
No. This is the only screen name I have ever used.
"I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago." (Sarah Palin,Dec 2009) ************************************ DID Palin say or write these things or not? (Me) I don't know or F ing care. (Mad Dog posted on 2009-12-26 16:36:33 ET,post # 105 http://libertysflame.com/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=5510&Disp=114#C114)
No, I was raised in Cincy, but moved to Kentucky, my families home state when I turned 18, I felt the city was no place to raise children after what I went through growing up. I now live on a nice ranch, about 25 acres, drive a SUV, have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 3 horses. Now I want to ask a question. Why do some of you smear us who live in the south when you know absolutely nothing about us? Is it just to see if you can hurt a person?
Murron, skippy is just an asshole. Some people just can't help themselves. They are a product of genetics and their environment.
Sneakypete, have you ever been married? Said things you later regretted?
Do you mean why do us normal folk think yinz retards are so dumb? Kidding... It's all relative... Speaking of which, I had second cousins [Mom's side] who barely finished third grade but would fascinate me in how they could make things work and build things out of nothing. I recall pulling into "the dirt spot" of a Great Uncle's house in our brand new used 1967 Ford Galaxy 500 and him barely saying hello and telling my dad, "Glenn start this thang back up and pop the goddam, bless me Jesus, hood!!" He then leaned over for a second, listening as if he and that engine were the only two things in the world. He made a hand gesture and my dad turned it off, My Great Uncle started to walk away, somewhat determined, but then turned back quickly to say, "Leave them keys in day car, Glenn" before going into his garage/workshop. As he was gone, everyone finished their "how in the Sam Hill's are yas" and moved into the house. But not me. I wanted to see what my Great Uncle was up to. After a moment, he came back with a satchel of tools. He set it gently on the ground in front of the car, took out a rag from his pocket, folded it and placed it neatly on top of the front fender. He then rummaged around in the satchel and after a few clanks he pulled out a dark metal tool that looked like a bent wrench and went to work. He placed that on the rag and then grabbed a different tool and returned to the engine. I was struck by the fact that as he leaned into the engine compartment, it was almost as of he was climbing inside the engine and was working from the inside out. He repeated this process a few times. He looked at me and said "Boy, start the car." Man, was I psyched. Until I realized that I had no fucking clue how to. Yea, I know, you turned the key but wasn't there something else? I was 10 and, at that moment, realizing it. Uncle Punk saw my hesitation and chuckled..."Boy...you ain't never started no car before?" "NO." "NO what?" "NO sir." "Damn straight." "Git yer underfed city boy ass in that seat and just turn the goddammed key [bless me Jesus]." "Yes...[Uncle Punk's eyebrows go up and his eyes begin to go dark]...sir," I reply. He throws me a half toothless smile, which is how he got the name "Punk" short for "Punkin" to begin with. So, I put my underfed city boy ass in that seat and turn the key...nothing...not enough. Uncle Punk appears in the windshield...and says "Turn that goddamed thing and hold it, bless me Jesus." So, I do, but I don't let go and the car begins making a noise like it's going to throw up and I panic. Suddenly I feel him yanking me by my collar. "Goddam it boy...out." NO bless me. He's pissed. Sometimes when he's pissed he forgets to get blessed by Jesus for using "his daddy's" name in vain. Anyway, the change to the engine was remarkable. It was very quiet...almost calm. "The most useless thing in the world was the guy what built a Ford. A Chrysler...that's what you want, boy. Always buy a car what's made by Chrysler." Uncle Punk had a Plymouth Fury. He also, I was to learn NEXT year which was 1969, believed the moon landings were faked.
I’ll see what I can do about posting a more current pic, if you really want one. Badeye posted on 2003-03-15 09:26:22 ET Reply Trace LMAO....you are soooo full of shit war..ahahahaaaa I think we all have stories simular to yours, I know one in particular, a fond memory I have of my g-mother, and what she (accidently) did to the intire family during a summer vacation...I think I posted it years ago at FU, we were all telling stories about our families.. When our family came together in the summer at our g-parents house during summer vacations, my g-mother would get out one of those great big coffee pots, so there would be plenty of coffee to go around. Well! After all the coffee was gone and she went to clean the pot to make more, she made a discovery, and brought it into the family room to show everyone. She was holding a giant RAT by the tail...said it was in the bottom of the pot and she didnt' see it till after all the coffee was gone! Need I discribe the chaos when everyone tried to get to the bathroom at the same time????
I prefer my rat instant as a opposed to percolated...
I’ll see what I can do about posting a more current pic, if you really want one. Badeye posted on 2003-03-15 09:26:22 ET Reply Trace I know a Punkin. I'll have to look closely to see if his teef are real next time I see him. I know a Turtle. A respectable businessman who can't read or rite. It took me several years before I learned that tidbit.
I had an uncle in Pittsburgh who was a street car driver who my dad would take grocery shopping every two weeks because the uncle did not know how to drive a car.
I’ll see what I can do about posting a more current pic, if you really want one. Badeye posted on 2003-03-15 09:26:22 ET Reply Trace My Granny never drove in her entire life. A German woman married to a GI, both around fifty, got her first drivers license two months ago. Pittsburgh and W. VA are going at it right now on the hoops court.
I must get this book, thanks!
Being a Republican means you get to choose your own reality.
here's the video:
Being a Republican means you get to choose your own reality.
Been watching it for many years, one of the best shows on TV. You can grab all the old episodes at www.finalgear.com/
Being a Republican means you get to choose your own reality.
Fartsky, when you pull your head out of Mad Dogs asshole and see your shadow does that mean there's six more weeks of winter in your Alaska welfare state?
I think the video speaks for itself.
Remind me again why we fought a war to keep these people in the Union.
I thought as much! I gave you a benefit of a doubt, you threw it back in my face. The bozo speaks for itself too..that's where cold hearted diaper wads like you belong!
The south? If'n you're north of Austin, Tx, yer a Yankee ;) (runnin' and duckin'!)
Hmmmm morron's going to again be "punishing" (BBBBWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHAAAAA!!!! another poster here .... soon to end up muttering to her old cat-lady bag self. BTW.....seems about time for the morron weekly opus......only to be missed sooooooooo much......until the boomerang effect occurs yet again.
Death to everybody who does not get outta my way.
Don't forget to tell her where the meetings are...
I’ll see what I can do about posting a more current pic, if you really want one. Badeye posted on 2003-03-15 09:26:22 ET Reply Trace Is that supposed to make any sense? I'm sorry you're so thin-skinned. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your still broke down again.
(runnin' and duckin'!) LOL...I don't think my north of Texas, or living in a Southron state has anything to do with who I am, I'm a green eyed, dark haird, Irish/Chrokee, a dangerous mix to mess with no matter my geography....&;-) btw, one of those 'yankees' thought I was good looking, and smart enough to marry, many years ago, but he's one of us now!
Note to myelf: You really do need to start using 'spell check'! lol
"Consider the insanity...and the free time required, to search the LP database for a comment from seven years ago to use as a tag line" Re the badeye thing. Meetings.....meetings.....ummmmm.....I'm sure you know what meetings you are referring to. Let me know what meeting you can dig up from however many years back you choose....loser....BBBWWWAAAHHHAAAA!!!
Death to everybody who does not get outta my way.
That doesn't even put you in the top 10...
The fact I was an RM2 escapes you obviously, and what that implies. Badeye posted on 2007-01-30 16:42:29 ET Reply Trace Its amusing he's that fixated. I suppose its due to the ongoing reminder that I know what a pussy he is in 'the real world' combined with knowing what a fraud he is in the 'virtual world'. Its the level of overcompensating thats most revealing.
my anti groupie can't get through life without me.
Tell us again about those dark nights on the Nimitz...no wait...the Kitty Hawk...no wait...the Independence... on the Indian Ocean in 1981/82 waiting for the "go order" on a crisis that had already passed (laughing)
The fact I was an RM2 escapes you obviously, and what that implies. Badeye posted on 2007-01-30 16:42:29 ET Reply Trace Was that while he worked two jobs putting himself through security guard training school?
So why do you bother soiling this site with your vacuous and inane commentary? ... yukon haha lots of laughing out loud
Sandwiched between Union Busting and being the personal body guard for King Faisel's Boy Toy...
The fact I was an RM2 escapes you obviously, and what that implies. Badeye posted on 2007-01-30 16:42:29 ET Reply Trace She had a long, rangy frame and looked to be made of wire and gristle underneath the plaid shirt and jeans. Maybe 50 years old with yellowing hair and brown teeth.
#2. To: Skip Intro (#0)
#3. To: sneakypete (#2)
#4. To: sneakypete (#2)
#5. To: Skip Intro (#3)
People tell me it's a great car show. I've never seen it myself.
#6. To: war (#4)
I;ve always wanted to ask you if you were Lug Nut @ FR
#7. To: Skip Intro (#1)
Murron, do you live in Alabama?
#8. To: Murron, Skip Intro (#7)
Why do some of you smear us who live in the south when you know absolutely nothing about us?
#9. To: Murron (#7)
(Edited)
Why do some of you smear us who live in the south when you know absolutely nothing about us?
#10. To: war (#9)
#11. To: Murron (#10)
#12. To: war (#9)
He throws me a half toothless smile, which is how he got the name "Punk" short for "Punkin" to begin with.
#13. To: Fred Mertz (#12)
#14. To: war (#13)
#15. To: Skip Intro (#0)
#16. To: Skip Intro (#0)
#17. To: Skip Intro (#3)
People tell me it's a great car show. I've never seen it myself.
#18. To: Ibluafartsky (#8)
#19. To: Murron (#7)
Why do some of you smear us who live in the south when you know absolutely nothing about us? Is it just to see if you can hurt a person?
#20. To: go65 (#16)
#21. To: Skip Intro (#19)
I think the video speaks for itself.
#22. To: Murron (#7)
Why do some of you smear us who live in the south
#23. To: all pussya@@ bozoing leftists the list here would be too long for individual mention (#21)
The bozo speaks for itself too..that's where cold hearted diaper wads like you belong!
#24. To: e_type_jag (#23)
.... soon to end up muttering to her old cat-lady bag self.
#25. To: Murron (#21)
I gave you a benefit of a doubt, you threw it back in my face.
#26. To: Sarajevo (#22)
The south? If'n you're north of Austin, Tx, yer a Yankee ;)
#27. To: Murron, Sarajevo (#26)
#28. To: war, badeye (#24)
Don't forget to tell her where the meetings are...
#29. To: Murron (#26)
(Edited)
I'm a green eyed, dark haird, Irish/Chrokee [sic], a dangerous mix
#30. To: e_type_jag (#28)
#31. To: Badeye (#30)
I suppose its due to the ongoing reminder that I know what a pussy he is in 'the real world' combined with knowing what a fraud he is in the 'virtual world'.
#32. To: war (#31)
on the Indian Ocean in 1981/82 waiting for the "go order" on a crisis that had already passed (laughing)
#33. To: Abu el Banat (#32)
Was that while he worked two jobs putting himself through security guard training school?
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