It's been such a lovely vacation, lo these last three-plus years, from having anyone hector us about eating or growing kale. Or commandeering the Agriculture Department to get rid of soda and freedom fries from your child's school cafeteria. Hearing the words "food desert" now sounds odd. A clunk to the ear.
It's so nice to see a grown-assed man in the White House eat a burger and fries and fried chicken and biscuits without being worried that the nation's scold – his wife – will shake a reproving forefinger at him – and us.
That's real silver and not polluting plastic, right President Trump? Did it come in a plastic bag? What's the carbon offset for that jet ride?
See? Does anyone really miss the national nag?
But in the very, very off-chance you miss Michelle Obama henpecking us about eating right and doing "The Dougie," we have found the cure.
Over to you Mike "Nanny" Bloomberg.
Odd, we thought he'd have banned meatballs by this time.
If you liked Michelle Obama's soft tyranny on food, you'll LOVE Mike Bloomberg.
Even though Nanny Bloomberg doesn't appear to know much about growing food, that doesn't mean he won't presume to tell you what to eat. His knowledge of food seems to consist only of those foods he wishes to ban or those dictated to his private chef.
The mercurial NYC Mayor Bloomberg went further than any other mayor in removing choice from people because, as the smartest man in the world, he, naturally, knows more than you. Duh. Don't you know who he is?
Here's a list of things Nanny Bloomberg tried to ban or succeeded in banning while he was the mayor of New York. Imagine what havoc he could wreak if he were president.
Trans fats: Recipes for cannolis, cheesecake, burgers, French fries had to be changed to accommodate Bloomberg's distaste for trans fats.
Salty foods: Bloomberg thought some snacks possessed too much salt, so he "encouraged" Starbucks, Campbells, Heinz and "dozens of other companies" to reduce their salt content. That may be why some of your favorite snack foods taste different and are less enjoyable now.
Styrofoam cups and containers: He doesn't use them so why should you?
Big Gulps: Of course they're big enough to use as garbage cans or for bathing your puppy when you're done using them, but they were filled with surgery soft drinks, so the mayor – you know, the guy who's supposed to make sure the streets are paved and the cops are doing their jobs? – decided he was the food czar and ordered his minions to cut down the sizes of drinks. This ridiculous overreach went to the New York Supreme Court, where it was struck down.
Cars: So much for "Fast Cars and Freedom." Bloomberg decided that because he took the subway to work, everyone else should too. He proposed a congestion tax that subsequently was struck down. No doubt that, had it passed, the private, chauffeur-driven SUV he used for public events would have been exempted.
Fast food menus without calorie counts: When he wasn't banning stuff, he was mandating it. Here Bloomberg required all fast-food restaurants to publicly disclose calorie counts on all items. This, of course, has been adopted all over the country and is the reason bacon has been ruined for millions of Americans.
Cigarettes: Imagine that. Even the mayor of New York City couldn't single- handedly ban cigarettes. But Nanny Bloomberg was able to order stores to put ciggies out of sight. He also banned smoking from bars, restaurants, and most outdoor spaces.
Bloomberg said he wanted cigarettes out of sight so children wouldn't be tempted to mimic their elders. However, he wasn't worried about his bullying, boorish and megalomaniacal behavior rubbing off on the kids. Weird.
Guns: Bloomberg has bankrolled groups whose sole purpose is to get rid of guns used by law-abiding gun owners.
Bloomberg, George Soros, and former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder used their millions to flood the zone for Democrats in Virginia in the 2018 midterms. The first order of business has been to get as many gun laws on the books as possible and make government employees members of unions.
