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Humor
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Title: 'I Am Being Held Hostage By The Squad And Am Impeaching Trump Against My Will,' Nancy Pelosi Frantically Blinks Out In Morse Code
Source: Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/nancy-p ... -squad-and-to-please-send-help
Published: Dec 12, 2019
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2019-12-12 13:53:58 by nolu chan
Keywords: None
Views: 280
Comments: 9

'I Am Being Held Hostage By The Squad And Am Impeaching Trump Against My Will,' Nancy Pelosi Frantically Blinks Out In Morse Code

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As Nancy Pelosi held a press conference along with other House Democrats to announce that they would be introducing articles of impeachment against President Trump, Pelosi reportedly blinked out a cry for help in morse code.

Observant viewers noticed Pelosi was blinking out some kind of pattern.

"Hey, it's morse code!" said one Fox News reporter. "Let's see what she's saying." Investigative journalists wrote down the complex series of dashes and dots blinked out by Pelosi, and sure enough, a message emerged.

"I am being held hostage by the Squad, STOP." she blinked out. "I am impeaching Trump against my will, STOP. They are currently holding my family in a warehouse down by the docks, STOP. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is standing right behind this curtain holding a fully automatic 30-clip assault rifle revolver handgun, STOP. If I try to get off the impeachment train, who knows what they will do, STOP."

"Please send help, STOP."

All the while, she continued to give her speech saying that she absolutely supports impeachment against President Trump 100%. The FBI sent a SWAT team down to the warehousing district and sure enough, three figures were throwing Pelosi's family into the Potomac while they wore concrete shoes. They managed to save the family, but the remaining members of the Squad got away in their clown car.

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#1. To: nolu chan (#0)

Do you have supporting video for this? I did see Nancy speak earlier today and she looked wiped out.

goldilucky  posted on  2019-12-12   15:23:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: goldilucky (#1)

Do you have supporting video for this?

Any further information is at the Babylon Bee.

nolu chan  posted on  2019-12-12   15:25:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: nolu chan (#2)

So I'll have to contact the editor of the article. Thanks, nolu chan.

goldilucky  posted on  2019-12-12   15:35:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: nolu chan (#2)

This is what I got in attempt to make contact.

"Fake news you can trust, delivered straight to your inbox."

goldilucky  posted on  2019-12-12   15:37:58 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: nolu chan (#0)

LOL - the ultimate triumph of the Squaws.

Hank Rearden  posted on  2019-12-12   17:05:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: goldilucky (#4)

This is what I got in attempt to make contact.

"Fake news you can trust, delivered straight to your inbox."

Using my super powers of observation, I observed that this article is filed under humor. Please check to see if your sense of humor has been activated.

nolu chan  posted on  2019-12-12   17:44:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: nolu chan (#6)

According to the article its labeled fake news. I don't find humor when someone is signaling for help in code language.

goldilucky  posted on  2019-12-12   17:57:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: goldilucky (#7)

https://babylonbee.com/about

About Us

What is The Babylon Bee?

The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.

The Babylon Bee was created ex nihilo on the eighth day of the creation week, exactly 6,000 years ago. We have been the premier news source through every major world event, from the Tower of Babel and the Exodus to the Reformation and the War of 1812. We focus on just the facts, leaving spin and bias to other news sites like CNN and Fox News.

If you would like to complain about something on our site, take it up with God.

Unlike other satire sites, everything we post is 100% verified by Snopes.com.

If you wish to complain about something on the Babylon Bee website, it is recommended that you take it up with God.

I understand if you have mistaken me for God, but I am not God.

According to the article its labeled fake news.

The Babylon Bee used to proudly run a disclaimer that the entire site was all the fake news fit to print. I cannot find it at the article or elsewhere. Perhaps you have a link to where you found it attached to the article, or you can cut and paste what you found at the article.

nolu chan  posted on  2019-12-12   18:53:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: nolu chan (#8)

The only thing I found was what I posted in my attempt to make contact with the editor.

Thank you for posting that disclaimer. I was unaware it was all satire. As for Snopes.com, I would never rely on them for accuracy of any publication.

It's too bad this article is all satire and fake news as it really does take away the integrity of real news and people in the public eye all the time. As some of us would agree, this impeachment process has taken its toll on everybody. I'm just not finding the humor it since I've been watching it all day today. It's been nuts.

goldilucky  posted on  2019-12-12   19:19:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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