[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Sex Doll Sales Surge In Quarantine, But It’s Not Just About Loneliness

People suffering from dementia often have a certain distinct walk This is what it looks like:

COVID-19 Has Replaced Osama bin Laden as the Fall Guy for Lost Liberties

Chicago Mayor Launches Police Raid to Shut Down Black Church’s Sunday Services

Giggling Bill Gates "We take GMO organisms & shoot them right into kids veins"

The CDC confirms remarkably low coronavirus death rate. Where is the media?

Why Didn't the 1958 and 1918 Pandemics Destroy the Economy? Hint: It's the Lockdowns

Shocking Video Shows Cop Body Slam, Punch Driver Over Not Using His Turn Signal

Leonardo DiCaprio’s Big Middle Finger to the Confederacy

Trump says Republican National Convention might move from Charlotte—no other city wanted to host it

Joe Biden announces “You Ain’t Black Enough” CRACKERS as fundraiser for his campaign

Jo Jorgensen Wins Libertarian Party Presidential Nomination

Pharmaceutical Industry is the Leading Cause of Death in U.S., and the Largest Criminal Group in the World

Cop Arrested for Terrorizing and Sexually Grooming Little Girl He Stalked on Minecraft

Biden: 'If you have a problem figuring out whether you're for me or Trump, then you ain't black'

“Back Of The Line!” Gretchen Whitmer’s Husband Gets Big Surprise When He Tries To Use His Unpopular Wife’s Name To Take Cuts In Front Of Other Customers Waiting To Have Boats Put In Water

The creaTion of funcTionally a separaTe judicial sysTem ... subservienT To The DemocraTs leaves noT much in The way of peaceful due process --- To resolve differences.

Joe Rogan Just Blew Up the Death Star

Undercover cops to enforce Ohio Covid Laws

‘I Am Very Serious About Them Losing Their Life’: Alabama Mayoral Candidate Calls for Public Hanging of Drug Dealers

Cop Tries to Force Man to Lick What He Thinks is Urine, Tasers Him After He Refuses

We’ve Got Way Too Many Trumps

Visa Files Patent Application for Digital Currency

Thanks Celebrities!

Brainwashing and the New Vocabulary: 12 Words and Phrases I Never Want to Hear Again

Illinois Lawmaker Floats Legislation to Give Governor Pritzker the Power to Confiscate Property Including Cars, Trucks, Food, Gas, Animals, Clothing, etc

NRA Shamefully Silent on Innocent Black Man Who Tried to Stop Cops from Murdering His Girlfriend

Cops Accuse Man of Carjacking His Own Car, Viciously Beat Him to Death

Cover Up: Fauci Approved Chloroquine, Hydroxychloroquine 15 Years Ago to Cure Coronaviruses; “Nobody Needed to Die”

UNHINGED Michigan AG Jumps on CNN Outraged after President Trump Did Not Wear Mask at Ford Plant — Says He’s Not Welcome Here — THREATENS CHARGES AGAINST FORD!

Hyperloop study: Pittsburgh to Chicago in 56 minutes for $93 is feasible

Facebook and YouTube are rushing to delete “Plandemic,” a conspiracy-laden video

Reopen... and Reject

AGW Threatens to Throw “Civilian” Off Bridge

Operation Haircut Defense Fund — GoFundMe set up to Help Single Mothers Fined $1,000 each for cutting hair in Michigan under orders of Nazi Gov. Gretchen Whitmer

Thanks to AG Barr and Senator McConnell, Patriot Act Will Soon Be Much Stronger and More Invasive

Big Brother COVID-19 "Contact Tracing" Involves Clintons, Soros

Enough! (Stop Saying "We're All In This Together)

‘The American friends’:

Covid Nazi: Costco turning tyrannical

New Jersey father’s outrage after a homeowner called the POLICE on him for taking his two children to an empty park to play

Another Reason Why This ‘Pandemic’ Is Looking More Like A Social Engineering Experiment

DEVELOPING: Declassified Rice email documenting WH meeting 1/5/2017 obtained @CBSNews

An audio recording of a conversation between Joe Biden and Petro Poroshenko on May 13, 2016 (Joe busted)

The far right depends on peddling snake oil. That's why Trump taking hydroxychloroquine is no surprise

UFOs Invading Military Airspace Multiple Times Per Month, but Public Won't Be Told More

Psychotherapist: Lockdown Zealots Are Behaving Like Cult Members

Cancer from Radiation Widespread Among 9/11 Responders

Alan Dershowitz, an Associate of Jeffrey Epstein, “You Have No Right NOT to be Vaccinated”

The Coronavirus ‘Dark Winter’ PSYOP: Question Everything and Do Not Comply With Any Government Order


Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: Pope Announces Any Time Spent Watching 'The View' Counts As Time Served In Purgatory
Source: The Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/pope-an ... ts-as-time-served-in-purgatory
Published: Oct 16, 2019
Author: The Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2019-10-18 12:42:41 by Deckard
Keywords: None
Views: 236
Comments: 11

Computer Hope

VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has made one of his official, Popey announcements. (For our Protestant audience, a declaration from the pope is kinda like when Russell Moore tweets something; it carries a lot of weight for Catholics.)

Anyway, the pope declared that any time you've spent watching The View in this life will count as time served in purgatory.

"Frankly, if you watch those women bickering, that's punishment enough," said Pope Francis in a speech. He declared that your time will be tallied up by the angels, who will then mark that off as though you'd spent the time in purgatory.

The pope said the exchange rate for time is about 1 hour of The View for a "good six months" of purification in purgatory.

"Exchange rates fluctuate, of course, and it depends on the episode," he remarked. "An episode with Alyssa Milano or Chelsea Clinton is obviously worth a lot more than a regular episode."

The show's ratings saw a small bump after the announcement but ticked back down when Catholics realized they'd rather just spend time in purgatory. (1 image)

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: Deckard (#0)

At least with JP2 (in his prime) or B16, you at least thought Rome had a real pope.

This guy has all the holiness of Father Guido Sarducci.

Every time I see him, I think it's Ed McMahon with a new Publishers Clearing House ad.

Tooconservative  posted on  2019-10-18   15:12:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Tooconservative (#1)

I like this Pope. Sedevacantists bore me.

Vicomte13  posted on  2019-10-18   23:28:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Vicomte13 (#2)

Choosing Francis as his name-de-pope was incredibly obnoxious.

Tooconservative  posted on  2019-10-19   0:02:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Tooconservative (#3)

I would've chosen "Lucifer" myself, as I would be bringing light to all.

Pope Lucifer, the first of his name.

Vicomte13  posted on  2019-10-20   1:16:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Vicomte13 (#4)

Pope Lucifer, the first of his name.

It would have been a fun choice. As you may recall, I always admired the fiery bishop Lucifer of Cagliari, a passionate anti-Arian. But then, the current grand poobah of Rome took his hokey pope name from Francis of Assisi, who always seemed like a weirdo to me and most accounts of his life seem far more myth than fact and who was probably just another misfit or mentally ill person who was obsessed with religion and whose reputation was later embroidered and exploited by Rome for their own profit.

Tooconservative  posted on  2019-10-20   4:34:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Tooconservative (#5)

'Religion is a racket.' - Smedley Butler should have said that.

Vicomte13  posted on  2019-10-20   13:45:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Deckard (#0)

I'd rather do some time in Purgatory than watch The View!



Ron Paul - Lake Jackson Texas Values

Hondo68  posted on  2019-10-20   16:13:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Hondo68 (#7)

" I'd rather do some time in Purgatory than watch The View! "

AGREE !!! Actually, I think having to watch The View would be the same as swimming in the Lake of Fire !!!

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." (Will Rogers)

"No one ever rescues an old dog. They lay in a cage until they die. PLEASE save one. None of us wants to die cold and alone... --Dennis Olson "

People that say money can't buy you happiness, have never paid an adoption fee

Stoner  posted on  2019-10-20   16:29:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Hondo68 (#7)

" I'd rather do some time in Purgatory than watch The View! "

AGREE !!!

Actually, I think having to watch The View would be the same as swimming in the Lake of Fire !!!

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." (Will Rogers)

"No one ever rescues an old dog. They lay in a cage until they die. PLEASE save one. None of us wants to die cold and alone... --Dennis Olson "

People that say money can't buy you happiness, have never paid an adoption fee

Stoner  posted on  2019-10-20   16:33:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: a k a stone (#8)

Stone, please delete this post. Duplicate.

Sorry !!!

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." (Will Rogers)

"No one ever rescues an old dog. They lay in a cage until they die. PLEASE save one. None of us wants to die cold and alone... --Dennis Olson "

People that say money can't buy you happiness, have never paid an adoption fee

Stoner  posted on  2019-10-20   21:47:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Stoner (#10)

Stone is off smoking dope and getting stoned.

Fred Mertz  posted on  2019-10-20   22:47:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Please report web page problems, questions and comments to webmaster@libertysflame.com