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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: We need a new cuckoo clock
Source: AoS
URL Source: [None]
Published: Feb 24, 2019
Author: some wise ass
Post Date: 2019-02-24 07:50:52 by Tooconservative
Keywords: None
Views: 235
Comments: 12

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'.

Well, the hours passsed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed in the least......... Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

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#1. To: Tooconservative (#0)

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in,

Fag humor... two husbands. Ruined any chance of humor for me

I'm the infidel... Allah warned you about. كافر المسلح

GrandIsland  posted on  2019-02-24   8:28:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: GrandIsland (#1)

Fag humor... two husbands.

One husband, not two.

You're reading gaiety into this joke that isn't there. And the sneaky spouse was drinking margueritas, typically a woman's drink here in the States. Also, tripping on a coffee table drunk and farting is much funnier if it is a woman than a man.

Ask your lady to read it and see if she thinks it's two husbands.

Maybe you just have issues.

Tooconservative  posted on  2019-02-24   9:26:46 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Tooconservative, GrandIsland (#2)

I thought it was a funny story.

I laughed.

Thanks for the humor.

Gatlin  posted on  2019-02-24   9:35:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Tooconservative (#2)

You think he has a lady?

Oh yeah, yukon in a tutu.

Fred Mertz  posted on  2019-02-24   14:29:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Fred Mertz (#4)

Yukon

lol ~ he kicked your ass so bad, he’s still embedded in your snowflake brain.

I'm the infidel... Allah warned you about. كافر المسلح

GrandIsland  posted on  2019-02-24   15:31:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: GrandIsland, LF Gay Canaries, Fred Mertz (#5)

yukon wuz hacked!


Hondo68  posted on  2019-02-24   16:20:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: hondo68, GrandIsland, Fred Mertz (#6)

This was just a harmless joke thread.

It wasn't about yucko or his gay husband.

Maybe I should have stuck with my no-posting policy for LF.

F'in trolls. You can't help yourselves apparently.

Tooconservative  posted on  2019-02-24   17:45:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Tooconservative (#7)

After re-reading the joke... I can see your point. Just didn’t make sense that a drunk woman would trip and fart. Sounds like something a dude would do.

I'm the infidel... Allah warned you about. كافر المسلح

GrandIsland  posted on  2019-02-24   17:57:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: GrandIsland (#8)

Here's the (2007 suicide) comic Richard Jeni, explaining about women's farting habits.

Tooconservative  posted on  2019-02-24   19:01:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Tooconservative (#7)

F'in trolls. You can't help yourselves apparently.

We like red meat. It's too hard to resist.

Fred Mertz  posted on  2019-02-24   21:38:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Fred Mertz (#10) (Edited)

This is why we can't have nice things.

Bedtime.

Tooconservative  posted on  2019-02-24   21:47:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: GrandIsland (#8)

Drunk dudettes trip and also fart.

goldilucky  posted on  2019-02-25   0:14:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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