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The Water Cooler
See other The Water Cooler Articles

Title: Hugh Freeze: "[Jesus Christ] Is The Only One I've Ever Met Who Can Handle My Junk"
Source: Deadspin
URL Source: https://deadspin.com/hugh-freeze-je ... only-one-ive-ever-m-1830947007
Published: Dec 8, 2018
Author: Patrick Redford
Post Date: 2018-12-08 10:06:29 by Willie Green
Keywords: None
Views: 93
Comments: 4

Disgraced former Baylor AD Ian McCaw and fearmongering reactionary legacy kid Jerry Falwell Jr. introduced Hugh Freeze as Liberty University’s new head football coach on Friday. Everyone had a great time. Here were the best parts:

  • Ian McCaw: “What really has impressed us the most with him is he’s a man of great faith, a great family man, and he’s someone who really pours into his student-athletes.”
  • Freeze: “I’ve loved this university from the last time I was here.”
  • “The son of God, Jesus Christ, he is the only one I’ve ever met who can handle my junk. If you know somebody else that can do that, I’d love to meet him.”

I'm sure you've met a few others who can handle your junk
@CoachHughFreeze pic.twitter.com/NxEU8bxUYz— gmannVOLS (@gmannVOLS) December 7, 2018

  • [Thank yous directed at Bill Polian and Charlie Ebersol]
  • “Attitude is how we will talk to ourselves. We are going to brand ourselves some way.”
  • [To McCaw and Jerry Falwell Jr.]: “There may be a great player in Australia and they probably have seen your face and now we can go recruit him. I like one of those punters that can do all the different things, from there.”
  • “We wanna stress them the entire spring as hard as we can stress them.”
  • “The next core value is integrity.”
  • “I used to define integrity as doing the right thing. If that’s the sole definition of it, then none of us meet that standard.”
  • “It’s about finishing well with great integrity.”
  • “Who is the second person that stepped foot on America?” [Several seconds of pained silence] “Yeah I don’t know either ... but everyone remembers Christopher Columbus.”
  • “A bowl game next year. And I’ve been to some good ones. The Sugar Bowl and the Peach Bowl. And I love that light-up in our kids eyes when they get that card that has $700 on it and you can pick that recliner over here or a TV over here. And you know what, nothing will give me greater joy than to see our young men get to experience that. And I will spend the better part of my time until that occurs.”
  • [On what makes a good man]: “He has the ability to finish. And that’s what we will work on as a football team, as a coaching staff, everyone involved in our program. We want to finish well. We wanna finish games well, we wanna finish academics well ... and we wanna finish well as husbands, fathers, and followers of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.”

Go Flames!

Poster Comment:

So Jesus gave Hugh a handjob?

I find that hard to believe....

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#1. To: Willie Green (#0)

inane clueless comment.

Liberals are like Slinkys. They're good for nothing, but somehow they bring a smile to your face as you shove them down the stairs.

IbJensen  posted on  2018-12-08   10:11:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

#2. To: IbJensen (#1)

FYI: Ole Miss gave Freeze the option of resigning or be fired for violation of the morals clause of his contract (for numerous phone calls to an "escort" service.)

Willie Green  posted on  2018-12-08   10:45:13 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

#3. To: Willie Green (#2)

Merry marxisT

If you ... don't use exclamation points --- you should't be typeing ! Commas - semicolons - question marks are for girlie boys !

BorisY  posted on  2018-12-08   12:14:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

#4. To: Willie Green (#2) (Edited)

Merry marxmas

The jesus of ... The dnc --- devil - nazis

If you ... don't use exclamation points --- you should't be typeing ! Commas - semicolons - question marks are for girlie boys !

BorisY  posted on  2018-12-09   13:10:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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