And just a reminder to everyone, I'm here to make jokes. I have no agenda. I'm not trying to get anything accomplished. So everyone that's here from Congress, you should feel right at home. A lot of you might not know who I am. I'm 32 years old, which is an odd age: 10 years too young to host this event and 20 years too old for Roy Moore.
A lot of people want Trump to be impeached. I do not. Because just when you think Trump is awful, you remember Mike Pence. Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn't gay.
Fox News is here. So, you know what that means, ladies: Cover your drinks. Seriously.
Megyn Kelly. What would I do without Megyn Kelly? You know, probably be more proud of women.
Megyn Kelly got paid $23 million by NBC, then NBC didn't let Megyn go to the Winter Olympics. Why not? She's so white, cold and expensive, she might as well be the Winter Olympics.
And, by the way, Megyn, Santa's black. The weird old guy going through your chimney was Bill O'Reilly. You might want to put a flue on it or something.
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Poster Comment:
ICYMI Some funny lines
