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Elon Musk Delivers Stunning Remarks At Historic UK March (Tommy Robinson) Status: Not Logged In; Sign In United States News See other United States News Articles Title: When Parody becomes Reality (Triple Trac Razor) Source: [None] URL Source: [None] Published: Mar 2, 2018 Author: snl Post Date: 2018-03-02 11:47:33 by no gnu taxes Keywords: None Views: 3429 Comments: 26 Transcript from SNL. I cant find a video: Announcer (V/O): In the dawn of civilization, long before the Bronze Age, man first began his search for the close shave. [ The caveman takes a club and hits himself in the face. DISSOLVE to the announcer speaking to the camera against a black background ] Announcer: Since then, man has been ardently striding to design the perfect shaving instrument. [ Shots of various razors are shown ] Announcer (V/O): From the straight razor, to the safety razor, to the injector system, amd finally the highly acclaimed twinblade cartridge. [ The announcer picks up a twinblade and shows it to the camera ] Announcer: Almost perfect, yet not quite the superlative groom. Introducing the Triple-Trac. [ DISSOLVE to a close-up of the three-bladed Triple-Trac razor ] Announcer (V/O): Not just two blades in one system, but three stainless, platinum teflex-coated blades melded together to form one incredible shaving cartridge, easily fitted into your old twinblade holder. Triple-Trac's triple-threat cartridge, with more close shaves than ever before. Here's how it works. [ DISSOLVE to a cartoon showing a how the Triple-Trac shaves a whisker ] Announcer (V/O): The first blade grabs at the whisker, tugging it away from your face to protect it from the second blade. [ The cartoon shows how the Triple-Trac yanks painfully at the whisker ] Announcer (V/O): Blade number two catches and digs into the stubble before it has the chance to snap back and injure you, pulling it farther out so that it is now ready for shearing. [ The cartoon shows an even more painful whisker-yanking ] Announcer (V/O): Triple-Trac's third blade, a finely-honed bonded platinum instrument, cuts cleanly through the whisker at its base, leaving your face as smooth as a billiard ball. [ Finally, the cartoon shows the Triple-Trac completely shaving the whisker ] [ DISSOLVE back to the announcer against the black background, holding up a Triple-Trac ] Announcer: The Triple-Trac. Because you'll believe anything. I was thinking about this skit when I bought a disposable razor the other day that actually had 4 blades. I'm sure there are many other examples. Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread   Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest #1. To: no gnu taxes (#0) I was thinking about this skit when I bought a disposable razor the other day that actually had 4 blades. Reminds me of: misterwhite  posted on  2018-03-02   12:21:46 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #2. To: no gnu taxes (#0) Go electric instead. You save on shaving cream and razors, and don't expose yourself daily to whatever chemicals they put in shaving cream. I'm sure the one time purchase of an electric razor and electrical cost is cheaper in the long run. You do pay for the electricity they use to make razors and cream anyway. Yeah, I remember those Trac II commercials and wondering why they would advertise how it gives you ingrown hairs. Pinguinite  posted on  2018-03-02   12:31:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #3. To: Pinguinite (#2) Electric razors just take too long. I also use only a thick lather of Ivory soap when I shave. no gnu taxes  posted on  2018-03-02   12:46:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #4. To: Pinguinite (#2) You save on shaving cream and razors, and don't expose yourself daily to whatever chemicals they put in shaving cream. Shaving cream? Who needs that? Shave in the shower. The hot water softens your beard and washes the shavings right off. No need for any cream or gel or soap or anything at all. And your bath brush cleans out the gunk between the two blades ilico-presto. (And when you don't use cream or gel, there's hardly any gunk to clean.) Stop using shampoo too. For two weeks everything is itchy and oily and gross, but then your scalp stops producing excess oil (usually stripped away every day by the soap), and the oil spreads out in your hair with the heat, and your hair becomes soft and really quite nice. And as a bonus you stop absorbing aluminum through your skin and reduce your chances of getting Alzheimer's someday. Stop using soap also, and just stand under the water longer. Use a body brush. You'll stink for a couple of weeks, but then gradually the oils subside there too, and you just don't need soap or deodorant. And you stop absorbing fat and aluminum. Vicomte13  posted on  2018-03-02   12:48:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #5. To: Vicomte13 (#4) Stop using soap also, and just stand under the water longer. Soap does allow water to clean better. However, I only use Ivory soap. I think I agree with you almost entirely, though. People don't need to smell like flowers, or leather, or peppermint. People should smell like nothing at all. Just keep yourself clean. no gnu taxes  posted on  2018-03-02   12:58:46 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #6. To: no gnu taxes, Pinguinite (#3) Electric razors just take too long. I also use only a thick lather of Ivory soap when I shave. Not if you shave every day or two. AND it's more sanitary than blades if you dip your electric razor into Braun's sanitizer. Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:10:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #7. To: Vicomte13 (#4) Stop using shampoo too...as a bonus you stop absorbing aluminum through your skin and reduce your chances of getting Alzheimer's someday. Stop using soap also, and just stand under the water longer. Use a body brush. You'll stink for a couple of weeks, but then... Couple of observations. Yes, I agree that shampooing one hair/scalp (if any of us have much left) is counter productive. The aluminum content in anti-antiperspirants is a real danger. Especially now, since manufacturers are adding 18% and more for prolonged "protection." A bit of soap and smelling good is productive in attracting or KEEPING a lady around and "interested." *COUGH* Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:15:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #8. To: Liberator (#6) I can be done shaving in a minute with a disposable razor. Are modern electric razors faster than that? no gnu taxes  posted on  2018-03-02   13:16:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #9. To: Vicomte13 (#4) Use a body brush. Excellent suggestion. Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:17:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #10. To: no gnu taxes (#8) (Edited) Could be a bit longer, but not much. IF you have a quality Braun. Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:18:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #11. To: Vicomte13 (#4) Shaving cream? Who needs that? Shave in the shower. The hot water softens your beard and washes the shavings right off. No need for any cream or gel or soap or anything at all. Interesting. Do you use a mirror in the shower? Doesn't it get steamed up? Also, it means you can only shave when you take a shower and I shave when I need to, not every day, independent of when I shower. Stop using shampoo too. For two weeks everything is itchy and oily and gross... I don't shave my head but I come a close as possible with electric hair cutters, so no, I don't use Shampoo. I do use soap though. I don't miss long hair on my head. It's overrated -- for us guys, at least. And as a bonus you stop absorbing aluminum through your skin and reduce your chances of getting Alzheimer's someday. Yes, aluminum should be avoided. Most deodorants have it too. Pinguinite  posted on  2018-03-02   13:26:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #12. To: Vicomte13, Liberator, no gnu taxes, Pinguinite (#4) I saw a piece recently that you might like. Time: You Asked: How Often Should I Shower?, 2016 Tooconservative  posted on  2018-03-02   13:28:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #13. To: no gnu taxes (#8) I can be done shaving in a minute with a disposable razor. Are modern electric razors faster than that? Electric razors need a few minutes of cleaning every now and then and I've found that if it starts to take longer to shave, it needs cleaning. One minute? That's fast. Electric razors vary in quality but it takes me longer than that. Some electric razors are battery operated and waterproof and are designed for use in a shower. Pinguinite  posted on  2018-03-02   13:30:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #14. To: Liberator (#7) The aluminum content in anti-antiperspirants is a real danger. Especially now, since manufacturers are adding 18% and more for prolonged "protection." You beat me to it! I use antiperspirants only on those occasions when I don't want to take chances smelling bad but I generally have no problems with that anyway. I do live in a cooler climate though. Anyone living in heat & humidity may not have that as an option so much. I imagine powdered antiperspirants are probably better than gel deodorants as there's no fluid to help facilitate absorption through the skin. Pinguinite  posted on  2018-03-02   13:37:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #15. To: Pinguinite (#13) One minute? That's fast I have a very specific pattern for shaving. If I have a sharp razor, it doesn't take long. no gnu taxes  posted on  2018-03-02   13:42:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #16. To: Tooconservative, Vicomte13, no gnu taxes, Pinguinite (#12) Time: You Asked: How Often Should I Shower?, 2016 Good info. Common sense stuff and then some (although exfoliating dead skin cells IS a beneficial thing.) Daily baths in hot water that become full of dirt and pathogens can't be a good thing. As a related aside, I will never forget the days four of us jumped directly into a friends hot tub, all sweaty after playing football. The hot tub water became a filthy, foamy mess in no time. A bath/shower every other day seems reasonable (after workouts or working during summer, OR...on days/nights when there's a chance you might get "lucky.") Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:45:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #17. To: Pinguinite (#14) (Edited) You beat me to it! Yeah, noticed your aluminum warning too... I've notice now they are now advertising "72-96 Hour Protection". That of course comes with no caveat for the insane toxic amount of aluminum (20%) in the "anti-antiperspirant potion (XXtreme Right Guard). I use antiperspirants only on those occasions when I don't want to take chances smelling bad but I generally have no problems with that anyway. I do live in a cooler climate though. Anyone living in heat & humidity may not have that as an option so much. I imagine powdered antiperspirants are probably better than gel deodorants as there's no fluid to help facilitate absorption through the skin. Right...generally, minimal social contact with others = NOT a problem. Cooler/winter situations not as problematic as warmer environs. I always found the gels to be easier to spread and use. Powdered spray or stick? Never liked breathing in that stuff while the sticks seem to crumble. To each his own I guess... Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:53:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #18. To: Liberator, Vicomte13 (#17) I have some Gillette stuff rated for "48 hours". It is 16% aluminum something-or-other. But I use very very little of it when I apply it. Some people really slather it on because they are so paranoid about B.O. OTOH, nobody likes a stinker either. We all have different body chemistry. I don't think there are perfect one-size-fits-all hygiene regimens other than "some regular bathing should occur". Tooconservative  posted on  2018-03-02   14:23:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #19. To: Liberator (#17) (Edited)   Tooconservative  posted on  2018-03-02   18:26:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #20. To: Liberator, redleghunter (#17) Off-topic but did you notice that Snopes was fact-checking a Babylon Bee story for Facebook and it kinda blew up in their faces? I didn't think it warranted a thread here but wanted to pass along the link. HotGas: Oops! Facebook, Snopes come down hard on Christian satire site Tooconservative  posted on  2018-03-02   18:27:23 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #21. To: Liberator (#7) I haven’t used soap or shampoo or deodorant since my first 40-day fast in 2010. Without food or excess, after about 30 days the chemicals in everything, even tap water, became very strong, so I gave those up. I stank and itches for two weeks, but then everything reset, and I don’t stink at all, except ehen I eat garlic or curry - then my wife can smell the garlic or the curry, because those come out the pores Vicomte13  posted on  2018-03-02   18:36:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #22. To: Pinguinite (#11) Interesting. Do you use a mirror in the shower? Don't need a mirror. I feel my skin: rough with whiskers. I run the razor over it. Feel it again. Still rough? Run the razor again. Smooth? Move on to the next piece. Once I feel like I've covered the waterfront, run my hand all over my face and feel for any rough spots. It's like mowing a lawn. Obviously I don't wear sideburns. Vicomte13  posted on  2018-03-02   20:09:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #23. To: Vicomte13 (#21) then my wife can smell the garlic or the curry, because those come out the pores So does kimchi. It's a Korean dish, made from cabbage and other vegetables. It's prepared by salting and sealing it in a pot and burying it in the ground for a few days and allowed to ferment. Pretty strong stuff. Pinguinite  posted on  2018-03-02   20:42:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #24. To: Pinguinite (#23) So does kimchi. It's a Korean dish, made from cabbage and other vegetables. It's prepared by salting and sealing it in a pot and burying it in the ground for a few days and allowed to ferment. Pretty strong stuff. Many variations of Kimchi. I liked the what we called the weapons grade strong variant. Great for the digestive system. Smells the same coming out too. Try being locked up in an underground bunker with Korean Army dudes who eat the stuff three times a day. redleghunter  posted on  2018-03-02   22:05:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #25. To: redleghunter (#24) Strong spicy things do come out your pores. And that's true whether you use soap or not! I don't each all that much spicy stuff, but I do eat a lot of oily fish. That doesn't come out of your pores, but it gets on your hands (I'll use soap for that), and it smells the same coming out your butt. Vicomte13  posted on  2018-03-03   7:01:28 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   #26. To: redleghunter (#24) Kimchi is great. The best part might be the fermented bubbly liquid. That stuff will really clear you sinuses. It's hard to find decent kimchi, though. When I have, I would often eat a whole jar of it, and nothing else, as a meal. no gnu taxes  posted on  2018-03-03   7:02:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply   Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest

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