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Title: New Libertarian Convert Asks Ron Paul Into His Heart
Source:
babylonbee.com
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/new-lib ... n-convert-asks-ron-paul-heart/
Published: Jan 10, 2018
Author: Staff
Post Date: 2018-01-16 05:34:26 by Gatlin
Keywords: None
Views: 2589
Comments: 21
KANSAS CITY, MO—While browsing memes on a popular libertarian meme Facebook page, local man Kyle Coats reportedly felt himself “cut to the heart” Wednesday, grabbing a Gadsden flag he had recently purchased and darting outside into the afternoon sun where he dropped to his knees and asked Ron Paul to come into his heart, once and for all, fully committing his life to the ideals of liberty he stands for. The man bowed his head and closed his eyes and asked the popular libertarian leader to come into his life and reign as his lord and savior. “Ron, would you come into my life and make me new?” he whispered privately to himself, a single tear streaming down his cheek as he clutched the “DON’T TREAD ON ME” flag, according to sources. “Please, Ron, forgive me of all my violations of the non-aggression principle and all the times I unwittingly supported a statist agenda.” “I swear here and now, taxation is theft!” he added. The new, remade Coats quickly threw away all his politically conservative reading material and purchased himself a leather-bound study edition of Ron Paul’s End the Fed and The Revolution, sources confirmed. At publishing time, the man had committed to tithe 10% of his cryptocurrency and precious metals to The Ron Paul Institute for Peace and Prosperity, and made a solemn vow never rest until every human being on earth had heard the good news of libertarianism. 
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 7.
#2. To: Gatlin (#0)
(Edited)
Your desperation grows even more...well - desperate. You are so filled with unbridled rage and hatred towards libertarians that you don't even realize that this is satire from a site that publishes nothing but satire. Trump Refuses To Let Jesus Into His Heart After Learning He’s From Nazareth
Why do you think I posted it under religion? Stupid ... Although Ron Paul does have some apostles who are his rabid fan base.
Why do you think I posted it under religion? Because you worship Satan, and so do his DACA shithole dreamers!
#9. To: hondo68 (#7)
I wouldn't go that far, although Parsons has made it known that he adores leftist ideology.
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#5. To: Deckard (#2)
(Edited)
... that you don't even realize that this is satire from a site that publishes nothing but satire.
#7. To: Gatlin, McCain worshipers, Satanic Cult (#5)
Dear Leader Juan McCain does have some apostles who are his rabid fan base.
Replies to Comment # 7. Because you worship Satan, and so do his DACA shithole dreamers!
End Trace Mode for Comment # 7.
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