Humor
See other Humor Articles
Title: ‘Our Love Life Is None Of Your Business,’ Says Couple Forcing Business Owner To Approve Their Love Life
Source:
Babylon Bee
URL Source: http://babylonbee.com/news/love-lif ... iness-owner-approve-love-life/
Published: Jan 13, 2018
Author: staff
Post Date: 2018-01-13 00:08:49 by redleghunter
Ping List: *Islamic caliphate expansion* Subscribe to *Islamic caliphate expansion*
Keywords: parody
Views: 884
Comments: 11
‘Our Love Life Is None Of Your Business,’ Says Couple Forcing Business Owner To Approve Their Love Life LAKEWOOD, CO—According to reports, a same-sex Lakewood couple informed a local business owner their private love life is none of his business, while insisting that he and his company approve and fully accept their love life, sources confirmed Wednesday. The couple, whose relationship may violate the privately held religious beliefs of some Americans, including the business owner, told him to “get out of our bedroom” while they demanded he use his business to openly affirm and celebrate their lifestyle choices. “How dare he force his extremist views on us?” the couple reportedly asked, while threatening to bring legal action and destroy his livelihood if he would not defy his widely-held religious beliefs in order to provide a service that they could easily receive at dozens of other local, willing companies. “We have rights. No one can tell us how to live our lives!” the couple told sources, as they used the justice system to force the business owner to violate his own convictions and coerce him to applaud their personal decisions. “After all, this is America!” they added.
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 5.
#1. To: redleghunter (#0)
Hardhitting church news from an authoritative source. I especially enjoyed this investigatory article. Members then reportedly assembled themselves around the statue and danced, joining in a spontaneous rendition of the church’s own hymn “Make America Great Again.” According to sources from within the church, members had demanded that Jeffress form the statue, crying out, “Simple faithfulness to the gospel hasn’t brought us the political clout we desire!” and “Make for us a political god who will go before us!” This reportedly prompted the pastor to ask for the church’s jewelry to be passed forward and forged into a Trump idol for the church to worship. At publishing time, an angered Russell Moore had arrived from the Southern Baptist Convention to melt the statue down and force Jeffress to drink the liquid gold from which it was formed, sources confirmed.
Yeah,I ain't buying it. Church Ladies melting down their gold to cast a statue?
#8. To: sneakypete (#5)
You think the story maybe sounds a little too much like the Israelites melting down their gold to make Baal, the golden calf they worshiped in the desert? Maybe you're right. Besides, modern women would never give up their bling-bling, not even for Jesus.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/LatestFirst Baptist Dallas Members Melt Golden Jewelry Down Into Towering Donald Trump Statue
DALLAS, TX—In a powerful show of devotion to the president of the United States, members of First Baptist Dallas passed their golden jewelry, watches, and personal trinkets down to the front of the sanctuary Sunday morning, where Pastor Robert Jeffress melted the large pile of golden knickknacks into a towering statue of President Donald Trump.
#5. To: Tooconservative (#1)
Hardhitting church news from an authoritative source.
Replies to Comment # 5. Yeah,I ain't buying it. Church Ladies melting down their gold to cast a statue?
End Trace Mode for Comment # 5.
[Home] [Headlines] [Latest Articles] [Latest Comments] [Post] [Mail] [Sign-in] [Setup] [Help] [Register]