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Title: ‘Our Love Life Is None Of Your Business,’ Says Couple Forcing Business Owner To Approve Their Love Life
Source:
Babylon Bee
URL Source: http://babylonbee.com/news/love-lif ... iness-owner-approve-love-life/
Published: Jan 13, 2018
Author: staff
Post Date: 2018-01-13 00:08:49 by redleghunter
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Keywords: parody
Views: 788
Comments: 11
‘Our Love Life Is None Of Your Business,’ Says Couple Forcing Business Owner To Approve Their Love Life LAKEWOOD, CO—According to reports, a same-sex Lakewood couple informed a local business owner their private love life is none of his business, while insisting that he and his company approve and fully accept their love life, sources confirmed Wednesday. The couple, whose relationship may violate the privately held religious beliefs of some Americans, including the business owner, told him to “get out of our bedroom” while they demanded he use his business to openly affirm and celebrate their lifestyle choices. “How dare he force his extremist views on us?” the couple reportedly asked, while threatening to bring legal action and destroy his livelihood if he would not defy his widely-held religious beliefs in order to provide a service that they could easily receive at dozens of other local, willing companies. “We have rights. No one can tell us how to live our lives!” the couple told sources, as they used the justice system to force the business owner to violate his own convictions and coerce him to applaud their personal decisions. “After all, this is America!” they added.
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#1. To: redleghunter (#0)
Hardhitting church news from an authoritative source. I especially enjoyed this investigatory article. Members then reportedly assembled themselves around the statue and danced, joining in a spontaneous rendition of the church’s own hymn “Make America Great Again.” According to sources from within the church, members had demanded that Jeffress form the statue, crying out, “Simple faithfulness to the gospel hasn’t brought us the political clout we desire!” and “Make for us a political god who will go before us!” This reportedly prompted the pastor to ask for the church’s jewelry to be passed forward and forged into a Trump idol for the church to worship. At publishing time, an angered Russell Moore had arrived from the Southern Baptist Convention to melt the statue down and force Jeffress to drink the liquid gold from which it was formed, sources confirmed.
This type of behavior would never be endorsed at any time in a Southern Baptist Church. Yes, i have attended them, but, I haven't for for a long time. Mostly, they just bore the audience members with committee results of how funds are used, and preach some rote sermon.
Well, this thread is in the Humor category.
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Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/LatestFirst Baptist Dallas Members Melt Golden Jewelry Down Into Towering Donald Trump Statue
DALLAS, TX—In a powerful show of devotion to the president of the United States, members of First Baptist Dallas passed their golden jewelry, watches, and personal trinkets down to the front of the sanctuary Sunday morning, where Pastor Robert Jeffress melted the large pile of golden knickknacks into a towering statue of President Donald Trump.
#10. To: Tooconservative (#1)
#11. To: no gnu taxes (#10)
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