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LEFT WING LOONS
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Title: Almost a Quarter of Americans Now Want ‘Organic’ Water
Source: grubstreet
URL Source: http://www.grubstreet.com/2017/07/a ... ied-organic-water-asarasi.html
Published: Jul 8, 2017
Author: Clint Rainey
Post Date: 2017-07-08 08:52:46 by cranky
Keywords: None
Views: 4577
Comments: 14

Joining the ranks of sommelier-recommended milk, single-origin beef, and single-udder butter is America’s first certified-organic water, Asarasi. It bills itself as the “purest form of water in the world,” and is a product harvested from the sap of maple trees to ensure it’s “free of all impurities.” (Immediately after which, naturally, it’s force-carbonated.) Call it what you want — more evidence that the U.S. premium-water market is out of hand? — but the truly surprising fact is that market research shows nearly 25 percent of Americans now claim they’d actually choose “organic” water over normal water.

Honestly, what this really shows is that nearly 25 percent of Americans don’t understand what “organic” means, since the USDA says organic foods must come from living things — that is, contain carbon — and water is just atoms of hydrogen and oxygen. Asarasi found a loophole because its tree water is technically drained straight from a plant. This provides a very useful selling point in post-Flint America, as the company can say it’s water untainted by chemicals.

Of course, you might still wonder, “What if the water that went into the trees contained impurities?” Spoiler: It probably did. Which is why a second water company out there, Tanzamaji, has just launched a line of “prehistoric” bottled water. They come from Tanzania’s Lake Tanganyika — believed to be the world’s second-oldest and deepest lake, which makes for wonderful marketing at the very least. “The fact that it has been isolated for millions of years means it has never been exposed to pesticides,” founder Rebecca Ruefer tells the trade mag Food Navigator. “No other human has ever consumed this water.” On its website, Tanzamaji warns, “Don’t expect ordinary water or an ordinary price.” Indeed: One 12-ounce bottle will set you back $15.(1 image)

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#1. To: cranky (#0)

They come from Tanzania’s Lake Tanganyika — believed to be the world’s second-oldest and deepest lake,

I trust the water. I don't trust the bottling.

It's like Starbucks hiring all those third-world refugees who promptly contaminated the coffee with their feces-laden fingers.

misterwhite  posted on  2017-07-08   9:07:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: cranky (#0)

Just more standard marketing crap invading the minds of minions.

buckeroo  posted on  2017-07-08   9:36:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: misterwhite (#1)

It's like Starbucks hiring all those third-world refugees who promptly contaminated the coffee with their feces-laden fingers.

You are so cynical.

Tooconservative  posted on  2017-07-08   11:07:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: cranky (#0) (Edited)

Lake Tanganyika has been "isolated for millions of years"? WHAT? Isolated from EUROPE, sure, but people have been living on Lake Tanganyika for as long as there have been people!

There were people living on the shores of Lake Tanganyika before the ice sheets melted and England emerged.

There were people living on Lake Tanganyika before a single human foot ever trod in China.

Every human alive has ancestors who lived by Lake Tanganyika.

"Isolated" MY ASS!

Vicomte13  posted on  2017-07-08   11:55:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: cranky (#0)

So long as they stay away from dihydrogen monoxide they will be OK.

A Pole  posted on  2017-07-08   12:18:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Tooconservative (#3)

You are so cynical.

Pffft! I've been to Tanzania. The wife and I became violently sick eating the local food in Zanzibar (off the coast of Tanzania).

misterwhite  posted on  2017-07-08   13:15:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: A Pole (#5)

So long as they stay away from dihydrogen monoxide they will be OK.

That sounds suspiciously like h-o-h.

cranky  posted on  2017-07-08   13:36:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: misterwhite (#6)

The wife and I became violently sick eating the local food in Zanzibar (off the coast of Tanzania).

You should have stuck to the ancient water. Or hard liquor.

Tooconservative  posted on  2017-07-08   13:51:27 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Tooconservative (#8)

You should have stuck to the ancient water. Or hard liquor.

Nah. We were pretty careful. But our last day there we went to a local festival where various vendors cooked their "catch-of-the-day" on the beach.

They caught something. We caught something.

misterwhite  posted on  2017-07-08   13:55:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: misterwhite (#9)

They caught something. We caught something.

Well, it is the Third World and semi-tropical to boot. Not a healthy place for white men.

If you wanted safety, you should have stuck to the States or Europe.

Tooconservative  posted on  2017-07-08   13:59:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: Tooconservative (#10)

If you wanted safety, you should have stuck to the States or Europe.

Well, we didn't want to die. There's always a certain amount of risk on the kind of trips we like to take.

misterwhite  posted on  2017-07-08   14:13:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: misterwhite (#6)

On safari in Kenya I got it from the air blast. I was riding on top of the vehicle (sitting with my legs in the roof hatch) going along at 40 mph.

A week or so later, girlfriend insisted on buying a lb of dates from a street vendor in Mombasa. Her turn.

It's not that it's dirty. It's that the bacteria is foreign. No antibodies.

Anthem  posted on  2017-07-08   23:48:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: A Pole (#5)

So long as they stay away from dihydrogen monoxide they will be OK.

I usually prefer "neat", but I slipped some of that into my friend's drink.

Anthem  posted on  2017-07-08   23:50:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: Anthem (#12)

On safari in Kenya I got it from the air blast. I was riding on top of the vehicle (sitting with my legs in the roof hatch) going along at 40 mph.

In the Serengeti I stood on the seat with the top half of my body through the roof hatch. I felt like Rommel.

misterwhite  posted on  2017-07-09   11:57:40 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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