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Obama Wars Title: A FEW WELL-PLACED DIGS © (IN THE KISHKES) A FEW WELL-PLACED DIGS © (IN THE KISHKES) by Norman Liebmnn President Obama has finally decided to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan. The question is does he intend to give them guns? After all the vacillating Obama they may they decide to change the name of that country to Flimflamistan. Chelsea Clinton is getting married which means some poor bastard is going to have Hillary Clinton as his mother-in-law. And we thought water-boarding was cruel and inhuman punishment. Doesn’t Obama make the case that Lincoln freed the slaves once too often? This past Thanksgiving Helen Thomas gave thanks for having a black President. Perhaps this coming Xmas she’ll get her wish for a black Santa Claus so she can find a switchblade knife in her Christmas stocking. Thomas proves once again she can’t get by on her looks. (After you said about Helen Thomas “It’s alive!” you’ve covered the terrain.) The answer to the Obama Health care program is to take care of your body on the off chance that you may want to use it again someday. Levi Johnston, Sara Palin’s nemesis, is going to shed his clothes for Playgirl Magazine. It’s a case of full frontal stupidity. When they designated the site for the upcoming environmental site as Crapenhagen they said it all. The presence of Obama in the northern countries might prompt the inhabitants to rename the area Scumdinavia. Reliable signs that global warming is a hoax have been confirmed by the Sanitation Department who keep finding unicorn droppings in Al Gore’s driveway. Along those lines it’s been suggested that his publisher change the name of his book to “Al Gore: An Inconvenient Fraud”. An ichthyologist reports that the Democrats swimming in the ocean near Martha’s Vineyard has caused large swarms of sharks to go into a puking frenzy. Maxine Waters likes to wear cologne that makes a racial statement. It’s called Eau de Watermelon. Let’s be honest. If a waiter brought something to your table called DeDe Scozzafava wouldn’t you send it back kitchen? Is NASA becoming a bore? In keeping with the great number of casinos operated by American Indians, sooner or later will they start calling their waitresses “cocktail squaws”? The operative word for Obama is niggnoramous. The public no longer objects to the media’s cowardice. They’ve come to depend on it. The unions are putting the squeeze on the New York City Government. It is likely Mayor Bloomberg will follow the example of the World Trade Center’s and let his end of the negotiations collapse. Labor negotiations are still a confrontation between the helpless and the hopeless. It will be just a matter of time until the Somali Pirates apply for an NBA franchise. Just what basketball needs most - another all black team. I’m waiting for them to meet the Aryan Nations Bikers in the playoffs. Oprah Winfrey’s decision to end her television show brings to mind the words’ of Tennessee Williams who said, “There is a time to depart - even when there’s no place to go”. In Kenya Obama’s mother is remembered as just another white broad who tried to change her luck. Michael Moore looks like a scrotum in a baseball cap. Why would anyone expect Obama to know how to deal with the Arabs? It’s apparent that he doesn’t Sharia from Shinola. It is an unremarkable coincidence that Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton are both built like ketchup bottles. Political correctness overkill: People who are circumcised will henceforth be described as “foreskin-deprived”. Immigration dilemma: If Mexico stops sending illegal aliens across the United States border will we have to teach Americans how to put the sand back inside the spinach? The best thing Geraldo Rivera could do with his ethnic roots is chop them up and smoke them. Apparently Tiger Wood never had it so good – or so often. Apparently Hillary Clinton has no real function in the Obama Administration. Obama keeps her around just to take the chill off the room. America has the best-equipped military in the world, but the question arises, what good is an aircraft carrier to a street fight? Does the Coast Guard have a maritime regulation that anything the size of Rosie O’Donnell must have running lights? Is it accurate so say that Barack Hussein Obama the black sheik of the family? The Obama family has made it necessary to change the name of the Presidential plane into Ghetto One. Methinks there’s a Zambesi in the woodpile – or is it a mulatto in the grotto? Have the Hollywood folk exhausted all their creativity thinking up cutesy-pie names to put on personalized license plates? Before she goes out for the evening does Michelle puts a little dab of Anthrax No. 5 behind each ear? Alexander Dumas’s wrote of a Paris slum called "the Court of Miracles" in which the lame could walk and the blind could see. The miracle was nobody there was collecting welfare. Michael Moore doesn’t need to go on a diet. He’s a candidate for a surgical procedure to install a turn out lane in his colon. Is the retired Jimmy Carter now entitled to use the title of Traitor Emeritus? To emphasize his point about global warming will Al Gore bottle and sell artificial sweat. Gore is afraid global warming may melt the frost around his aorta. Is Henry Kissinger a clone or a rehash? Apparently President has Obama reconciled himself that he could not give every black person a big car so he just decided to take the big cars away from the little white people. Self fulfilling prophesies work like this. The more Liberals keep calling you a bigot, the more likely you are to become one. The Conference Room is where the Obama Cabinet Members convene in order to have great ideas escape them. As an increased safety measure, the Secret Service won’t let Obama go into the White House Map Room unless he’s wearing a flak jacket. The reason Attorney General Eric Holder invited the Guantanamo terrorist back to return to New York, is because he figures anyone who killed three thousand men, women, and children without provocation can’t be all bad. Will Obamacre cover bad hair days? The nearest thing there ever was to an honest citizen in New Jersey was Tony Soprano. The Las Vegas casinos are hoping to attract more high rollers from the Middle East. The signs at the entrances of most hotels read, “Trust in Allah but don’t forget to cut the cards.” Hillary Clinton has decided to spruce up for the holiday season. This is the time of the year when she goes to Sears Automotive to have them rotate her boobs. Michelle Obama would make a great Roller Derby girl - except they’d have to widen the track. Another reason alibis don’t work. The Bible doesn’t mention extenuating circumstances. Islam is not a country, it’s a cultural contaminate. The richest country in the Middle East is suddenly caught up in the world’s economic plummet. The Arab world blames it Obama’s financial genius Timothy Geithner who during a recent visit bit the Sheikh of Dubai on the neck. Bill and Hillary Clinton still consider themselves the Tiffanys of Treason. These days Bubba’s idea of sexual excitement is just sitting around listening to the sounds of Hillary’s neck creping. The Cadets at West Point could use a few lessons from Nancy Pelosi on how to force people to march in lock step. Obama has announced he is sending he has finally decided to send troops to Afghanistan. He ordered General McCrystal, “If the new troops are not there by Christmas start the war without them”. . The Obama Administration is to politics what Milli Vanilli was to music - except . Milli Vanili was able to lip synch without using a teleprompter. Obama’s teleprompter shattered when it could no longer tell words from turds. Was it Jefferson Davis who said, “Better slavery than knavery”? Jesse Jackson may demand a Congressional investigation to find out why Ebonics was left off the Rosetta stone. If Obama doesn’t bow to a dictator every five minutes does he get the bends? And this … Whatever became of soul food? ***
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Self fulfilling prophesies work like this. The more Liberals keep calling you a bigot, the more likely you are to become one. NORM Love
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