April 12, 2006
IRS Washington,DC
CC: President Bush Democrats, RHINOs
Dear Ladies, Gentlemen and Undecideds:
NOT enclosed herewith are fully-executed documents concerning my 2005 income and taxes, including 1040, Schedule A, B, C, D and 50 other assorted pieces of meaningless paper normally generated only for the purpose of providing work for civil service types lacking sufficient intelligence and skills to secure gainful employment in the real world.
In calculating my tax obligations, I subtracted my "fair share" of government costs where my interests as an American citizen were not represented. As you may remember, "taxation without representation" is not cool.
Specifically, deductions were made for the following failings by the federal government:
-Borders not secured;
-Existing immigration laws not enforced;
-Homeland security measures not fully implemented;
-Taxpayer dollars used to provide public services to illegal aliens;
-Illegal aliens evaded income taxes;
-Ballots and other public documents printed in foreign languages;
-Salaries and benefits paid to president Bush and Congress while "working" on immigration reform.
Taking into account my fair share of services not received, the US government owes me about $15,000,000 for 2005. My accountants are researching tax returns going back to 2000, and we will file revised returns, and associated refund claims, as soon as possible.
Because I am politically conservative, I do not wish to add to the national debt just to rectify the wrong done me by the US government.
Accordingly, I hereby recommend that IRS and ICE team up in a joint effort to collect taxes, current and past, from the largest block of tax evaders known to human kind: 20 million illegal aliens now squatting tax-free in America.
At the risk of being presumptuous, let me offer another suggestion: The greatest opportunity to confront these tax evaders would be at large public gatherings. May 1 is rumored to be a "holiday" in the illegal alien community, to be celebrated by massive rallies and marches in cities all across America.
What a PERFECT opportunity for IRS and ICE to help retire the national debt and reverse illegal immigration all at once by confronting hundreds of thousands of illegals clogging the nation's streets on May 1!
How will you know them? They will be the ones with Mexican flags and "Sí se puede!" on their foreheads.
I have decided not to charge the government for the advise provided herein----just forward the $15 million to me ASAP.
By the way, please note I am filing EARLY---law and order runs through me veins, mates!
Wishing all illegal Aliens "A day WITH IRS!" I remain sincerely yours,
JOHN W LILLPOP
