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United States News Title: The Musicians Who Actually Deserve a Spot in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Phil Lynott and Thin Lizzy. Screen shot/YouTube I recently discussed the 19 artists nominated to join the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I want to say a few more words about the rotten ground the Hall is built on: Namely, the rather staggering list of musicians, pioneers, and innovators who arent in the Hall. Listen! Shattering, monumental days are ahead, days when the continent will move beneath our feet and beyond our imagination, days that will be written about centuries from now, days that will only make sense when we are bent with age, when our children (who speak ominously and excitedly of the high, white skies of Iceland and the steep, green slopes of British Columbia) are themselves parents, dyed and cynical. But rock n roll gives me hope, or at least it mutes the foul breath of hopelessness. Rock n roll is the beat that emerged from the beaten-down bellies of Americas poor and politically disenfranchised. The hollers and stomps and sighs and lullabies of the Cajuns, slaves, Celtics, rednecks, Slavs and Sicilians evolved, quickly and beautifully, into rock n roll. There is a direct line from the soft-lit parlors of Storyville to the endless startime of Spotify, from the down-bound blues of Parchman Prison to the red-lit stage of the Ryman Auditorium, from the clog dancing of Mount Airy to the digital spotlight of Saturday Night Live. Breath it in, babies! No other art form was born of more suffering, and brought us more pleasure. So: I do not have fucking time to mince words. Rock n roll matters to me. A few weeks ago, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced their nominations for the class of 2017. Here are some of the names those biased, corrupted, ignorant idiots left out. Thin Lizzy are the bodhisattvas of hard pop. They took memorable, fist-pumping butter-churned guitar riffs and blended them with a deep and constant melodicism. One of the first hard bands who werent based in the blues, old-school rock forms, or pyrotechnics and who favored compact, listener-friendly song forms, they profoundly influenced U2, the Sex Pistols, and Bon Jovi; even Green Day echoes their mix of riff, melody, and attitude. Bassist/vocalist Phil Lynott was one of the great stars of the 1970s, and on top of all that, Thin Lizzy also invented the modern power ballad (The Cowboy Song is the prototype for every hair-band slow-dance prom song ever written). Mott the Hoople were the great British rock band of the pre-punk 1970s (their Dylan-fronting-the-Kinks act has dated better than Zeppelins DADGAD-in-Mordor pomposity). For chrissakes, at least induct Ian Hunter, who is one of the very best rock songwriters of all time; I have zero hesitation in stating that Irene Wilde is the best rock ballad of all time, and Hooples I Wish I Was Your Mother is in the top five. In fact, aside from Pete Townshend (and occasionally Chris Bailey of the Saints when he is really on point), Im not sure theres anyone in history who writes better Rock Band songs than Ian Hunter (note: I am making an important distinction between great songwritersMcCartney, Neil Diamond, Carol King, Brian Wilson, etceteraand those who write great songs for rock bands; in the latter category, Townshend and Hunter are in a class of their own). How about Marc Bolan and T. Rex? T.Rex recorded some of the most durable hits in the history of British rock, sassy, rumbling and rhythmic metallic bubblegum kisses like Bang A Gong, Jeepster, Telegram Sam, and Solid Gold Easy Action. And Tim says that the first chord of 20th Century Boy is the greatest single chord in the long history of rock n roll. All of this (and a few others I shall shortly discuss) point to an Anglophobia on the part of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame that is so pronounced and obvious as to be downright bizarre. My God, we are but a mote of dust floating in an incomprehensibly vast universe; sometimes we float in the light, but just as often we hover in the dark. Our lives and the problems that make our guts shiver cast no shadow whatsoever on times ceiling-less sky. On this cruel and beautiful inkblot of impermanence, music provides a flare of distraction and pleasure. If we are kind and if we danced, how can we complain that the future has no walls, no mirror to reflect us, no book where our name is written? So obviously this is a good time to talk about Big Star. I dont know a single person who wouldnt say that Big Star are one of the most important and influential artists of the last 45 years. Not one. Even weed-wacked 20-somethings who listen endlessly to Elliott Smith will nod at you and profess their love for Big Star. The impact of Big Star on the formation of a new kind of sensitive, simple, weepy and wise guitar-based pop in the 1970s and 80s is enormous; it is unlikely that any artist, with the possible exception of the Velvet Underground, did more to shape the R.E.M./Replacements college radio era of the 1980s. There are huge, shameful gaps in the Halls acknowledgement of the influential but lower-selling artists of the 1970s and 80s. That leads me to the fact that the New York Dolls arent in the Hall, and it wouldnt be a bad idea to admit Syd Barrett as a solo artist. Although his work with Pink Floyd is thrilling and essential, his simple, scathing, sweet and deeply affecting solo work was way ahead of his time, and profoundly influential on the same crowd who listened to the Velvets and Big Star. Oh, and literally everyone I know who made records in the 1980s and 90s spent a significant amount of time listening to Nick Drake. How freaking hard would it be to put Nick Drake and Syd Barrett in the Hall? There are plenty of other artists who created the building blocks of our eras rocknroll, and who will likely get nowhere near the Hall. Neu! re-shaped the parameters of rock n roll and made everything from Sonic Youth to Stereolab to Arcade Fire possible, yet theres as much chance of them getting into the Hall as there is of me turning on PBS tonight and seeing Mr. Humphries going down on Mrs. Slocombe. Seriously, there is exactly that much of a chance. Likewise, if youre going to open up something called the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and not acknowledge the impact that Black Flag, the Replacements, Motörhead and Slayer had on a wide and varied group of musicians and listeners, you shouldnt freaking call your establishment The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (Sonic Youth will get into the Hall one day, so no need to dwell on them). The Hall also regularly inducts producers, managers, and label executives, but heres a small selection of those they havent inducted: Brian Eno isnt in the Hall, which seems like a grotesque oversight; was he rude to Dave Marsh on an airplane once, or something? Two of the most famous and successful managers in music history arent in the Hall: Albert Grossman (who is responsible for the careers of Bob Dylan and Janis Joplin, amongst others) and Led Zeppelins Peter Grant (who changed the artist/label and artist/promoter relationship perhaps more than any single person). And if I was in charge of these things, Id acknowledge Stiff Records Jake Riviera, Virgins Richard Branson, and Sub Pops Bruce Pavitt and Jonathan Poneman, and Id definitely induct (as record producers) Nick Lowe and Steve Lillywhite. But Im not in charge of these things. Heck, Im not even a voter. Oh, and now is a good time to mention yet freaking again that Alan Lomax, the music archivist who is, essentially, solely responsible for spreading the gospel of pre-rock n roll American blues and folk music and whose recordings directly influenced everyone from Led Zeppelin to Bob Dylan (and many, many others), is still not in the RocknRoll Hall of Fame. This remains the Halls single most acute oversight (Im stepping off of the Kraftwerk soapbox for a little while, at least until the inductees are announced; youll recall they were nominated this year). Oh. Wynonie Harris. Wynonie Harris is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. How about that. Thats a little like finding out that your kids middle school omits Thomas Jefferson from its list of presidents. Seriously. Really, this deserves an article entirely of its own, but Wynonie Harris is, with very, very little doubt, one of the greatest and most influential rock n roll singers of all time, perhaps the first human to sing high-energy r&b music with the clear, powerful, smooth but tense and emotionally engaged, French Horn-meets-Klaxon Horn voice we have come to identify as modern rock n roll singing. If you had an evolutionary chart of rock n roll with those little silhouettes on it, Wynonie would be the guy between Robert Johnson and Elvis (a grotesque oversimplification, but as I said, this omission is so profound that it deserves an article unto itself). Today, 65 and 70 years after his best-known work, Harris voice still cuts through the fog of time and kicks in Robert Plants door and says, Um, Mrs. Plant, Robert and I are going to Adam Lamberts house where we are going to shit in his mouth. Can you call a cab for us, please? Because, you see, if anyone was going to have a patent on rock n roll singing, it would be Wynonie Harris. Just listen to his version of Good Rockin Tonight if you dont believe me. Leaving Wynonie Harris out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame underlines, as perhaps no other omission does, that the Hall is run by idiots who really, truly dont know nearly as much about music as they ought to. Lets get back to this for a moment: In the post-Beatles era, our rocknpop culture is as much British as it is American. The Hall needs to change this absurd tic it has, this unwillingness to deal equitably with the British contribution to rock n roll, or it needs to just start calling itself the American Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and be done with it. True, I covered the Halls British Problem fairly sufficiently in the last piece, but Id like to underline that Kate Bush, likely the most original and influential female vocalist and songwriter of her generation, isnt in the Hall; although she is virtually worshipped as a deity in the U.K., somehow shes not fit to enter the Hall. And why not mention again that the Cure and the Smiths arent in the Hall? I mean, only an organization run by homophobes or assholes with an agenda would keep the Smiths out of The RocknRoll Hall of Fame, and lets just say I dont necessarily think the Hall is run by homophobes. And, oh dear god, theres New Order, Joy Division, Roxy Freaking Music, and many others you will surely come up with. The secret to happiness is coming to terms with the absurdly tiny temporary shadow we cast against the permanence of limitless space. Our place in the universe, in the endless mirror-hall of chiliocosms that make up the sky above the sky and the sky below the sky, is so utterly insignificant that every now and then we need to micro-focus on that brilliant neon red/fugue-migraine yellow leaf that sits on that tree eight yards in front of us (stop and look at it now, and watch time stop) and we must think, if only for two and one-eighths of a second, ah, that is now, and that is enough! And we must cling by our chipped and bitten fingernails to all of that beautiful, sloppy, sad, under-thought and overwrought rock n roll that makes us smile, and reminds us to grin and love and share. Music touches each and every one of us, and it is inside of us on a whole higher level, one that brings us fools precisely to the instant, to the now. So, actually, I forgive those idiots at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, because I dont need them to love or understand rock n roll the way I do; each one of us can love rock n roll just fine without them. Still, why do they even bother when they get it so wrong? How hard would it be to get it right? Some of our most original, most passionate, and most lasting music isnt in the Hall. Paul Revere & the Raiders translated high-flying New Orleans rock n roll into driving, sliding, slurring sexy pre-punk ecstasy; they are one of the greatest singles bands our country ever produced, and I have to imagine that the only reason theyre not in the Hall is because the Hall voters are too busy jacking off over pictures of Santana and Donald Fagen to get past the corny uniforms that the Raiders dressed their proto-punk in. The Raiders close musical relatives, the Dave Clark Five, are in the Hall, so why the eff arent the Raiders in? The Sonics created the template for American garage punk, not to mention crafting the prototype for every punk rock band that thought that three chords and a horny shriek was enough to move a nation. Lets also note that personally Id put both Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs and ? and the Mysterians in a Hall of Fame before Id even think of admitting the Talking Heads or Donovan (both artists I like, by the way). The music created by Sam the Sham and Question Mark is so distinctly and beautifully American, such a wild and original alternative to the arched, smug psych of the Beatles, that we really ought to be going out of our way to celebrate these artists, and thats exactly what the Hall of Fame is not doing. Oh, and Im no great fan of Whitney Houston, but clearly she peed on Janns brie after Bon Jovi finished sneezing on it, because, wait for it, Donna Summer is in the Hall of Fame and Whitney Houston isnt? Whitney is one of the 15 biggest-selling artists of all time in the U.S., and since the Hall consistently honors quantity over quality, this ones just baffling. There are many, many other artists who surely deserve inclusion in a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, even if they continue to be overlooked by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If Ive neglected one of your favorites, please forgive. And anyway, the most important Hall of Fame is the one in your heart. Finally, theres this supernaturally inorganic hallucinogenic and hyper-caloric godhead of a donut made by Stans Donuts in Westwood Village in Los Angeles. Its a donut with a whole peanut butter cup inside of it, uh-huh, you heard me right, and that should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, because a donut with a peanut butter cup freaking inside of it is the most rock n roll thing in the entire English-speaking world, except maybe for Dexter Romweber and Wilko Johnson. 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#1. To: Deckard (#0)
(Edited)
The Marshall Tucker Band and Link Wray aren't in the Hall of Fame,but Run DNC is??????? Seems to me that Hall has a slight credibility problem. One hard and fast rule is that ANY act that relies on "backup dancers" to distract the audiences attention away from how much their singing and playing sucks should never even be allowed to buy tickets to visit the damn Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. BOYCOTT PAYPAL AND CLOSE YOUR PP ACCOUNTS NOW! ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO DO SO,TOO! ISLAM MEANS SUBMISSION! Why is democracy held in such high esteem when it’s the enemy of the minority and makes all rights relative to the dictates of the majority? (Ron Paul,2012) American Indians had open borders. Look at how well that worked out for them.
I hope you don't include Ike and Tina Turner in that generalization. Absolutely crazy! If you like rock you have to love Marshal Tucker Band. The fact they are not in the Rockin Roll Hall of Fame is just disgraceful!
I have no idea why they used backup dancers,unless Ike was humping them. Ever see any backup dancers anywhere that could take attention away from Tina Turner on a stage? She was a freaking force of nature. BOYCOTT PAYPAL AND CLOSE YOUR PP ACCOUNTS NOW! ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO DO SO,TOO! ISLAM MEANS SUBMISSION! Why is democracy held in such high esteem when it’s the enemy of the minority and makes all rights relative to the dictates of the majority? (Ron Paul,2012) American Indians had open borders. Look at how well that worked out for them.
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