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United States News
See other United States News Articles Title: WHITE HOUSE APPROVES NATIONAL CHAIN OF BROTHELS!
Source:
wwn
URL Source: http://wwn
Published: Apr 7, 2006
Author: MARK MILLER
Post Date: 2006-04-07 19:28:59 by fishhead
Keywords: None
Views: 15
WHITE HOUSE APPROVES NATIONAL CHAIN OF BROTHELS! WENDY DEE-LITE is doing what she can to bring down the federal deficit. By MARK MILLER WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As part of his new campaign to lower the $512 billion U.S. Budget deficit, President Bush has approved a chain of federally supervised legal brothels which will open for business in June of 2006 in every state. Vice President Cheney is expected to attend the groundbreaking ceremony of the first federal brothel, scheduled to open in Los Angeles. According to Federal Brothels Program Director John Wilds, "Each of the prostitutes will be registered with the U.S. government, checked weekly for sexually transmitted diseases and monthly for HIV." Prostitutes are currently being interviewed and, if accepted, will become part of the Civil Service program and therefore, unlike their nonfederal counterparts, and be eligible for unemployment, retirement and health benefits. Inspired by the Roman emperor Caligula -- who forced the wives of Roman senators into service to eliminate his deficit -- and patterned after Nevada's famed Mustang Ranch, the federal brothels will charge $200 for every half hour. The government will receive half that fee. One prostitute who has already been accepted into the program, Wendy Dee- Lite, 23, sees the federal brothels as a win-win situation. "My bank account goes up, the federal deficit goes down. God bless America!" Pu
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