Well, an EPautos Libertarian Lexicon! I get asked frequently about the meaning of some commonly used terms, known to EPautos regulars but less well-known to people new to this corner of the Libertarian universe. These form the core lingua franca of the dialogue here, but much more important, they serve as a convenient shorthand for conveying certain concepts easily and efficiently without the need to go into a long explanation. Ideally, they will become anti-authoritarian/pro-liberty memes.
Help spread the word!
* Clover
The root cause of every affront to liberty. The spoonful of shit that ruins a gallon of ice cream. Clovers do not believe in live and let live. They believe in telling others how to live at gunpoint, if necessary. Clovers cant abide the organic society, voluntary interaction or free exchange.
You are not free to disagree with a Clover.
They always have plans and speak in terms of we as if you agreed to their plans. As if they have the right to speak for you.
A Clover will speak of our children when he means your children.
Clovers believe that their feelings about what someone might do justify imposing restrictions on people who havent actually done anything to cause harm to anyone.
Clovers believe in group guilt and that you are guilty until you prove yourself innocent.
Clovers believe the end (their end, whatever they deem worthwhile) always justifies the means.
A Clover isnt stopped in his tracks by a moral principle; for example, that its wrong to presume every driver on a given stretch of road is a dangerous drunk until he proves to the satisfaction of a cop that he isnt.
Clovers believe that constructs such as society have rights but actual human beings dont.
They believe there ought to be a law.
Clovers think its ok to take your money if its called taxes.
They like to help others
with other peoples money.
Clovers think people are too irresponsible and foolish to be trusted to govern themselves but put limitless trust in people once adorned with special titles and costumes.
Clovers consider other people their property as evidence by their limitless desire to control other people, even to the extent of dictating to them what they may do with their own bodies.
A Clover will decree how much soda you may purchase. He favors sin taxes on the things he happens not to like.
Most rank-and-file Clovers are bullies and busybodies but also cowards who hide behind euphemisms (see above regarding taxes) and the ballot box. They are not bold enough to actually take other peoples things themselves and shy away from telling other people what to do such as personally telling their neighbor to buckle up for safety but are eager to vote to have others perform this work on their behalf.
Clovers are generally only dangerous in herds.
* Hero
An armed government worker.
Can be costumed or not. Usually identifiable by shaved head, opaque sunglasses and hair-trigger confrontational demeanor.
The domestic variant enforces the states edicts upon the population; the export version enforces the states will upon foreign populations.
Both populaces have been conditioned to servility and reverence in the presence of either.
Preferred honorifics are officer and sir.
Domestic Heroes keep us safe by taking away our freedoms. Export Heroes take away the lives of foreigners in order to keep us free.
It is forbidden to resist a Hero.
To criticize Heroes (particularly the export variants) is unpatriotic.
Heroes form a Praetorian caste with special privileges; they are subject to more lenient standards of behavior and accountability in the performance of their duties. A domestic Hero may, for example, recklessly discharge a firearm and not be jailed or even charged for this while a non-Hero will usually be charged with multiple felonies and face years in prison for the same or lesser conduct.
Heroes receive paid vacation when under investigation for potentially criminal conduct.
A Hero fired for abusing his authority in one locality is free to seek employment as a Hero in a another locality.
The safety of Heroes is paramount. Everything else including our lives is of secondary importance.
All Heroes must be thanked for their service.
Repeatedly.
* Uncle
The secular deity of the United States. The incarnation/personification of the federal government. He acts in loco parentis over children who will never be emancipated, no matter how old they grow.
At birth, we are assigned a number by Uncle never to be used for purposes of identification, without which it is impossible to obtain identification.
Or legal employment. Or open a bank account.
Or do much of anything.
Like Santa Claus, Uncle knows when you are sleeping, he knows when youre awake
. except Uncle has a gun.
Lots of guns.
Uncle has assumed the power to do pretty much anything he likes. From ordering us to buy health insurance (but not necessarily get medical treatment) to decreeing how many miles-per-gallon our next new car will deliver.
Uncle claims we have consented to abide by his edicts because we have been given the opportunity to vote for one of his priests, who tell us what to do on behalf of Uncle.
Even if we voted for neither.
* Saaaaaafety
The Magic Word that justifies
everything.
Its even more effective than equality which it subsumes because everyone must be kept safe.
No matter what. And no matter the cost in money or liberty.
It is a Clovers favorite word.
It his meme.
Lets change that up.