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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: New Chicago Math Final Exam for 2016
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jun 6, 2016
Author: UNKNOWN
Post Date: 2016-06-06 14:20:19 by Stoner
Keywords: None
Views: 1370
Comments: 12

Saw this on another forum. Thought it was very funny:

The new Chicago math final exam for 2016

Chicago Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that kids can use in real-world situations:

NAME


______

GANG/CREW NAME


CRIB


_______

1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shooting. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive-by before he gotta reload?

2. Willie has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day crack habit?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over ?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up ?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a boa constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income ?

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph., Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

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#1. To: Stoner (#0)

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a boa constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income

Five dollars per rat?

Aren't they free in Chicago?

Just have to catch them.

TrappedInMd  posted on  2016-06-06   14:53:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: TrappedInMd (#1)

"Just have to catch them."

Catch a rat? That would be like catching a snake:

misterwhite  posted on  2016-06-06   16:13:37 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Stoner (#0) (Edited)

yes saw it elsewhere too, apparently it has been around for a while but a teacher recently gave it to a class and promptly retired. I think it might have been a comment on the quality of the students, this is what they could understand

paraclete  posted on  2016-06-06   19:47:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: paraclete (#3)

If their objective to teaching was based on "quality" of those students they were never meant to teach. A really good teacher relates well with students from all social backgrounds.

goldilucky  posted on  2016-06-06   21:08:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: goldilucky (#4) (Edited)

what do you do with the unteachable? They do exist. look, in my country the teachers in a town had to be evacuated recently and the schools closed because of the behaviour of some students/former students. These people just didn't get why they might be unsuitable for employment so they proved they weren't and this was a model school

This tells me that no how good the teacher there are some students who are unteachable

paraclete  posted on  2016-06-06   22:19:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: goldilucky (#4)

If their objective to teaching was based on "quality" of those students they were never meant to teach.

What? Total BS. A really good teacher knows that nothing succeeds like success and would never, never teach material that is above the capacity (quality) of the student to learn it. It starts with the concept of age appropriate material and extends out from there. Any good teacher needs to know the "quality" for their respective students and adjust the material and teaching style accordingly.

Your PC nanny state brainwashing is showing. Like so many of you PC ninnies it is you that equates quality with social background.

потому что Бог хочет это тот путь

SOSO  posted on  2016-06-06   22:26:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: paraclete, goldilucky (#5)

This tells me that no how good the teacher there are some students who are unteachable

Just put the popcorn on. Can't wait for PC knee jerk rant to begin.

потому что Бог хочет это тот путь

SOSO  posted on  2016-06-06   22:28:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Stoner (#0)

1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shooting. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive-by before he gotta reload?

Trick question!

Gang bangers shoot till they empty the magazine.

Justified  posted on  2016-06-06   22:48:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Justified (#8)

Gang bangers shoot till they empty the magazine.

That's because gang bangers can't count

paraclete  posted on  2016-06-06   22:52:10 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: SOSO (#7)

No. Just that some teachers can't teach.

goldilucky  posted on  2016-06-06   22:52:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: paraclete (#5)

what do you do with the unteachable? They do exist.

C'mon, goldi. Let me get you started.

P - "what do you do with the unteachable? They do exist."

G- "You mean like Helen Keller who once said "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.?'""

See how easy it is?

потому что Бог хочет это тот путь

SOSO  posted on  2016-06-06   23:10:51 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: goldilucky, paraclete (#10)

Just that some teachers can't teach.

And some kids don't want to learn. So what? Your post is not responsive to the question asked by our Aussie mate, namely, "what do you do with the unteachable? They do exist."

потому что Бог хочет это тот путь

SOSO  posted on  2016-06-06   23:15:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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