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Title: Former U.S. Senator Harris Wofford, 90, Marrying a Man 20 Years After Wife's Death: My Life Is 'a Story of 2 Great Loves'
Source: People
URL Source: http://www.people.com/article/harris-wofford-marrying-man-at-90
Published: Apr 25, 2016
Author: Lindsay Kimble
Post Date: 2016-04-25 15:43:23 by Rufus T Firefly
Keywords: None
Views: 3752
Comments: 4

Former Pennsylvania U.S. senator Harris Wofford is getting the fairytale ending he never expected to want.

Wofford, 90, will marry his boyfriend of 15 years – Matthew Charlton, 40 – on April 30, he wrote in a moving New York Times op-ed, published Sunday. The marriage will be his second – wife Clare died in January 1996 after 48 years together.

"At age 70, I did not imagine that I would fall in love again and remarry," Wofford wrote in the piece. "But the past 20 years have made my life a story of two great loves."

Wofford explains that after Clare's death, he was sure he'd never again feel that "kind of love" again. The couple had met during World War II through organization the Student Federalists, and gone on to raise three children.

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"When I told her, 'You're my best friend,' she would reply, 'and your best critic,' " he shared. "And when I said, 'You're my best critic,' she responded, 'and your best friend.' "

Former U.S. Senator Harris Wofford, 90, Marrying a Man 20 Years After Wife's Death: My Life Is 'a Story of 2 Great Loves'| Couples, Marriage Harris Wofford and wife Clare MARIANNE BARCELLONA / THE LIFE IMAGES COLLECTION / GETTY

Wofford worked in the Kennedy administration as the Coordinator of Federal Civil Rights Policy, and later helped found the Peace Corps. He served as the president of Bryn Mawr from 1970 to 1978, and eventually became a Pennsylvania senator in 1991. He held office until 1995.

After finishing his turn in the Senate and losing Clare, Wofford met Charlton on a beach in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. At the time, Charlton was 25 and Wofford was 70.

"We took trips around the country and later to Europe together, becoming great friends," Wofford wrote in the Times. "We both felt the immediate spark, and as time went on, we realized that our bond had grown into love. Other than with Clare, I had never felt love blossom this way before."

Three years later, Wofford told his children about the relationship – which he said they've come to welcome over time.

"To some, our bond is entirely natural, to others it comes as a strange surprise, but most soon see the strength of our feelings and our devotion to each other," he wrote.

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Wofford said that he doesn't "categorize" himself by the gender of those he loves. "I had a half-century of marriage with a wonderful woman, and now am lucky for a second time to have found happiness," he explained.

"At age 90, I am lucky to be in an era where the Supreme Court has strengthened what President Obama calls 'the dignity of marriage' by recognizing that matrimony is not based on anyone's sexual nature, choices or dreams," he said. "It is based on love."

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#3. To: Rufus T Firefly (#0)

Three years later, Wofford told his children about the relationship – which he said they've come to welcome over time.

No, "dad", they have not come to "welcome" it, and they never, ever will, no matter what you choose to believe.

What they have done is weigh out the pain and decide that they do not want to reject their father, so they have disciplined themselves to be cordial and tolerant, to grin and bear it, since you've imposed putting up with this as a condition of continuing to be in their lives.

In truth, they think it's icky, and they always will. And they will consider themselves to be dignified, restrained and self-controlled - more than you are - by their dignified and self-controlled response to you and your "husband".

Inside, they would rather that you have not remarried and remained celibate, dignified and distinguished, rather than testing their love for you and forcing them to grin and bear this.

But grin and bear it they will, for you, and you will never know it or appreciate it, and if it were fully revealed to you, you would think that they were being unfair.

Oh, and about all of that property that you accumulated during your 48 years of marriage, that you and your children's mother accumulated and that your children had a reasonable expectation would eventually pass to them, to ease their burdens in this life for themselves and their children, your grandchildren - let me guess, your 35 year-old "husband", as your "spouse" will instead be the heir, yes?

Your children will never speak a word of this, all of the hurt, but they feel it.

Vicomte13  posted on  2016-04-25   17:28:30 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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