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The Establishments war on Donald Trump
See other The Establishments war on Donald Trump Articles

Title: Comedian writes gay erotic fiction starring ‘soggy Cheeto’ Donald Trump
Source: NY Daily News
URL Source: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/pol ... donald-trump-article-1.2505732
Published: Jan 22, 2016
Author: Meg Wagner
Post Date: 2016-01-22 09:46:02 by cranky
Keywords: None
Views: 1120
Comments: 6

Comedian Elijah Daniel wrote erotic fiction story 'Trump Temptations: The Billionaire and the Bellboy.'

Eat your heart out, Christian Grey.

There’s a new sex-addicted, billionaire erotic fiction star: “soggy Cheeto” Donald Trump.

A 22-year-old Los Angeles comedian wrote a steamy story documenting the GOP presidential candidate’s fictional rendezvous with a bellboy — a 21-page masterpiece that skyrocketed to the top of Amazon’s charts a day after he wrote it.

“I was drinking, and I thought it would be funny if I write this stupid and weird story,” author Elijah Daniel told the Daily News. “It took me four hours and four bottles of wine.”

The book, “Trump Temptation: The Billionaire and The Bellboy,” became Amazon’s No. 2 humorous erotica novel Friday morning after debuting on the website Thursday afternoon. Narrated by a young Trump Hotel bellboy — who is also named Elijah — the work tells the story of how the real estate mogul met and seduced the hotel hand.

“With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy Cheeto, his hair unkempt and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest. He was beautiful,” the first chapter reads. “His gorgeous a-- flapped behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants. My hunger for pancakes had never been stronger.

Author Elijah Daniel said he finished the work in just four hours. Courtesy Elijah Daniel

Author Elijah Daniel said he finished the work in just four hours.

Daniel tweeted about his plane Wednesday evening: “I’m going to get drunk tonight and write an entire donald trump sex novel like 50 shades of grey & put it on amazon tomorrow i swear to god.”

After enthusiastic encouragement from his followers, he decided to hunker down and churn out the work that night.

Fueled by a hefty supply of “trashy mom white zinfandel,” the 22-year-old completed the 21-page work in just about four hours, he said.

The book — with such lines as “I had to admit it, I wanted his geriatric 2006 Perez Hilton Jello body” and, “His hands felt like an old dried out gingerbread house” — was an instant Amazon hit, earning a slew of 5-star reviews. Daniel said he expects it to hit No. 1 on the charts soon.

Don’t worry “Trump Temptation” lovers: Daniel is working on two more works to make the story a trilogy.

While Trump will be featured in all of pieces, the writer said cameos from other presidential contenders are possible.

“I’d love to work on something with Bernie Sanders,” he said. “Really, anything is possible.”

Daniel said he doesn’t have strong feelings about any presidential candidate, butu he is certainly not a Trump supporter.

His message to his muse? “F--k you,” he said. (2 images)

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#1. To: cranky (#0)

" Daniel is working on two more works "

I hope it is the same story, only about Muhammad

Si vis pacem, para bellum

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

There are no Carthaginian terrorists.

Stoner  posted on  2016-01-22   10:31:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: cranky (#0)

"Comedian writes gay erotic fiction ..."

He's a nobody trying to make a name for himself by slamming Trump. F**k him and the horse he rode in on.

misterwhite  posted on  2016-01-22   11:28:15 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: cranky, Young Republicans (#0)

This kid writes like a Romney Republican, gayer than Ted Kennedy.


The D&R terrorists hate us because we're free, to vote second party
"We (government) need to do a lot less, a lot sooner" ~Ron Paul

Hondo68  posted on  2016-01-22   11:35:00 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: cranky (#0)

I thought it would be funny if I write this stupid and weird story

Well, you were successful at writing something stupid and weird.

rlk  posted on  2016-01-22   11:41:00 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: cranky (#0)

It's taking the literary world by storm at Amazon.

I'm craving pancakes all of a sudden.
After reading this sensual and tawdry account of Mr. Trump's escapades in Hong Kong, I'm convinced he can make America great again one bellboy at a time.

Titillating. Transgressive. Transformative. Trump.
This piece of literary sexploitation takes the genre and stands it on its ear before gently laying it on its back for a wild weekend of popper-filled lust. Trumped every expectation I had of it. My imagination is still tingling. Really made me want to pop a molly, strip down, and rub my body with a toupée. Brava.

Speechless
Groundbreaking exposé!! No longer must the international bellboy community feel ashamed and in darkness. Let us all roam hotel halls free from shame, under the light that is Trump's spirit.

Tooconservative  posted on  2016-01-22   12:06:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: TooConservative (#5)

It's taking the literary world by storm at Amazon.

A real page turner, I'm sure.

I'll wait for the reviews.

There are three kinds of people in the world: those that can add and those that can't

cranky  posted on  2016-01-22   12:33:55 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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