1. I always help the needy. If you need a buck or two, I'll help you out. But I'm not a sap. People also know that they can't get over on my good nature.
2. I have good hygiene.
I bathe every day, and regularly gargle with anti-bacterial mouthwash. You won't find any offensive odors from me. But then again, you won't any find of those faggoty cologne smells coming from me either. That's for homos and losers.
3. I am good looking.
In a nice pleasant sort of way. Women find me nice to look at, but in a non-threatening kind of manner. Don't mistake for some pretty boy fudge packer either.
4. I have money
And no, you can't have it. (I've already covered that). People know I will always pay my way, if it's appropriate. I even consider tipping reasonably to those service personnel who show they have earned it.
5. I am smart
But I don't shove my superior intelligence in your face. I know I am smarter than you, but I'll just let you catch on in a subtle manner, and allow you to keep your dignity.
6. I have a great sense of humor
And it's a kind sense of humor. I won't make fun of your harelip, even though everybody would burst out laughing should I choose to.
7. I have superior tastes
I know what the best caviars and champagnes are, but hey, I'll eat your low brow bratwurst if it makes you feel good.
8. Kids like me.
However, I don't like kids. But the kids don't ever catch on, which makes me that much greater. But still, I'd appreciate if you kept you little brats away from me.
