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Humor
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Title: A Letter from Joni Ernst About Measles
Source: The New Yorker
URL Source: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/boro ... port/letter-joni-ernst-measles
Published: Feb 4, 2015
Author: Andy Borowitz
Post Date: 2015-02-04 09:16:40 by Willie Green
Keywords: None
Views: 1856
Comments: 2

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — On Tuesday, Senator Joni Ernst (R.-Iowa) responded to the recent measles outbreak with the following letter to the American people:


Hi, it’s Joni!

In recent days, you’ve heard about a measles outbreak among children who have not been vaccinated. Like many Americans, you have probably been asking, “How would Joni solve this problem?”

Some in the media have suggested that politicians should not have opinions about vaccinations because we’re not scientists. Excuse me, but that’s like saying people shouldn’t have opinions about flowers because they’re not bees.

The fact is, many parents are concerned about vaccinations, and for a valid reason: they’ve read something bad about them on the Internet. But the good news is that there’s an alternative to vaccinations that’s cheap, readily available, and totally safe: bread bags.

Take a look at a bread bag. It’s made out of plastic, which means that no microscopic virus can get through it, unless there’s a hole in the bag. That’s why, every morning, my parents sent me to school with bread bags on my hands.

You see, measles are a hand-borne virus. You can only catch them through contact with someone’s measles-infected hand. If every child in America would go to school with bread bags on their hands, why, before you know it, measles would go the way of the Macarena (a dance that used to be very popular but has pretty much disappeared).

Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before? Maybe because there’s big money behind vaccinations but not behind bread bags. No one makes money on bread bags. They just come with the bread.

So do Joni a favor. Tomorrow, send your kids to school with bread bags on their hands. As my mom used to say, “Joni, if there’s a problem bread bags can’t solve, it’s probably not a problem.”

To your health,
Joni

P.S. Important! This will only work if there are no holes in the bags.

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#1. To: Willie Green (#0)

Vaccines made from aborted babiesVaccine Info



www.Christianpatriot.com/store.htm


>

  U.S. Vaccines Derived From Abortion

DiseaseVaccine NameManufacturer Cell line (Fetal)
PolioPoliovax Aventis-PasteurMRC-5
Measles, Mumps, Rubella

Mumps-Rubella

Measles-Rubella

Rubella only
MMR II

Biavax II

MR-VAX

Meruvax II

Merck & CompanyWI-38
RabiesImovaxAventis-PasteurMRC-5
Hepatitis A Havrix 
Vaqta

Merck & Company
Glaxo/SmithKline

MRC-5 
MRC-5
Hepatitis A-B ComboTwinrixGlaxo/SmithKlineMRC-5
ChickenpoxVarivaxMerck & CompanyWI-38 and MRC-5
SmallpoxAcambis 1000AcambisMRC-5
EbolaUnknownCrucell & N.I.H.PER C6
HIVUnknownMerck & CompanyPER C6
SepsisXigrisEli Lilley293

 For more information on Xigris, PER C6, 293 Cell Lines and AD5 Vectors

U.S. Vaccine Alternatives
NOTE: No alternatives for Chickenpox, Rubella, Hepatitis-A, Ebola or HIV in U.S.

Disease 

Vaccine NameManufacturerCell line
PolioIPOLAventis-PasteurMonkey kidney cells
MumpsMumpsvax Merck & CompanyChick embryo
RabiesRabAvertChiron TherapeuticsChick embryo
MeaslesAttenuvaxMerck & CompanyChick Embryo
SmallpoxAcambis 2000Acambis-BaxterVero (Monkey)

Vaccine Alternatives Available In The United Kingdom 
NOT FDA APPROVED FOR USE IN THE UNITED STATES

Disease Brand nameCompanyCell line
RubellaTakahashi Strain  Kitasato InstituteRabbit kidney
Hepatitis AAimmugen  Chemo-therapeutic Institute Japan (Kaketsuken)Monkey kidney 

We are currently working in conjunction with the Foreign Manufacturers
to obtain these vaccines in the United States.  

Additional Facts - Rubella

The Rubella vaccine, produced by Merck & Company was taken from an aborted baby during the 1964 rubella epidemic when some mothers were advised to have abortions, rather than risk their child being born with Congenital Rubella Syndrome.  It was from the 27th baby aborted and immediately dissected that the active rubella virus was finally found. It was commonly referred to as RA27/3, where R=Rubella, A=Abortus, 27=27th fetus, 3=third tissue culture explant.  The abortionist collaborated with the Wistar Institute to collect the aborted babies in order to isolate the virus.  The vaccine virus was then cultivated in the lung tissue of another aborted female baby, approximately 3 months gestation. (WI-38) This abortion was done for the mother because "the parents felt they had too many children." (American Journal Diseases of Children, Vol. 118, 1969).The new vaccine was developed in Philadelphia, Pa. and tested on orphans. (American Journal Diseases of Children, Vol. 110, Oct. 1965) Considering that there was already two licensed rubella vaccines on the market and considering that they could have done exactly what the Japanese did in order to isolate the rubella virus (they swabbed the throat of an infected child), it is obvious this vaccine was created in order to justify fetal tissue research.   It is also important to note that Rubella is basically a harmless childhood disease that is only considered to have possible serious effects on the unborn child when a pregnant woman is exposed to the virus during her first trimester.  Should this occur, 20-25% of these cases will develop some form of Congenital Rubella Syndrome, which may cause malformations of the heart, eyes or brain, deafness, or liver, spleen and bone marrow problems.

Sources:    Christina Abel RN.
                Merck & Company

Additional Facts - Hepatitis A

Havrix, the vaccine used to treat Hepatitis-A, uses a virus strain (HM175) propagated in MRC-5 human diploid (lung) cells which were taken from a male fetus aborted at 14 weeks gestation.  These cells are lysed to form a suspension which is purified through ultrafiltration and gel permeation chromotography. The method is referenced to a standard using an Enzyme Linked Immunosorbent Assay (E.L.I.S.A.) and is expressed in terms of units (E.L.U.)

Havrix contains a sterile suspension of inactivated virus strains.  The adult dosage consists of not less than 1440 E.L.U. viral antigen, 0.5mg of aluminum as aluminum hydroxide and 0.5% of 2-phenoxyethanol as a preservative.  Other excipients are amino acid supplement (0.3%) in a phosphate buffered saline solution, polysorbate 20 (0.05mg/ml), MRC-5 cell proteins not greater than 5mgg and traces of formalin, not greater than 0.1mg.
Source:  SmithKline Beecham www.sb.com (vaccines-Havrix)

Additional Facts - Chickenpox

VARIVAX was developed with the use of aborted fetuses.  It uses both the human cell lines, named WI-38 (Wistar Institute) and MRC-5 (Medical Research Council). The vaccine contains residual components of  their DNA and protein. The cell lines were derived from the lung tissue of an aborted female at 3 months gestation and an aborted male at 14 weeks gestation.  The cells of these fetuses were then developed in a lab culture to produce several vaccines.

VARIVAX  also contains MSG (monosodium glutamate) in 2 forms, according to Jack Samuels, an expert on MSG. According to the FDA, MSG is not advised for infants, children, or pregnant women or children of childbearing age, and people with affective (mental/emotional) disorders.

According to VARIVAX product literature, the vaccine contains gelatin and trace amounts of neomycin, and should not be given to people allergic to them; it should not be given to anyone with an immune disorder, or anyone receiving drugs which affect the immune system such as chemotherapy or steroids; it should not be given to people with untreated tuberculosis or certain other infections. 

Dr. A. Lavin of the Department of Pediatrics, St. Luke’s Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio, strongly opposed licensing VARIVAX, “Until we actually know...the risks involved in injecting mutated DNA [the vaccine] into the host genome [children].”

Studies show that up to 3% of VARIVAX recipients contract chicken pox from the vaccine, and that some chicken pox cases may be contracted from recently vaccinated children. Vaccine recipients may therefore pose a health risk to pregnant mothers or family members with chronic health problems or compromised immune systems.

Some studies suggest that chicken pox in a vaccinated child may be milder than in an unvaccinated child. However, some experts believe that this may be due to the vaccine suppressing the illness, which could actually signal a more serious underlying chronic condition. For example, “Atypical measles” is a disease that occurs only in people previously vaccinated for measles, and it is far more serious than regular measles. It is not yet known if “atypical chicken pox” cases will appear as a result of the use of VARIVAX.

The FDA VAERS' (Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System) first year surveillance of VARIVAX included over 1,500 reports. 76 were serious adverse reactions that included 2 deaths. While a VAERS report does not prove a causal relationship between the vaccine and the death or disability that follows, the vaccine is highly suspect in all such reports.

The FDA has stated that fewer than 10% of serious adverse reactions and deaths following vaccines are reported; independent researchers cite lower rates. The federal government has paid families of vaccine killed and disabled children nearly $100 million in taxpayer dollars each year since 1986 through the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (NVCIP).
Source:  P.R.O.V.E. (Parents Requesting Open Vaccination Education)

 Order Free Brochures       

 

 

Source: http://www.cogforlife.org/fetalvaccines.htm

God blessed America when she feared Him, now it appears, she may face His wrath.

ACP

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BobCeleste  posted on  2015-02-04   10:27:28 ET  (4 images) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Willie Green, All (#0)

It’s made out of plastic, which means that no microscopic virus can get through it, unless there’s a hole in the bag.

As my mom used to say, “Joni, if there’s a problem bread bags can’t solve, it’s probably not a problem.”

Wonder if that will work for STDs?

потому что Бог хочет это тот путь

SOSO  posted on  2015-02-04   12:17:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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