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Satans Mark/Cashless Title: Should You Chip Your Children? 'm surprised by both the debate over RFID (radio frequency identification) and the technology's growing capabilities. RFID has been a boon to corporations with large retail outlets, inventory rooms, warehouses, and more. It's even beginning to bleed into public spaces such as county beaches. Yet it seems all I hear is moaning about the privacy and First Amendment implications. This is growing tiresome, and it's time to set people straight. RFID chips are a good idea. RFID chips that can help locate people and objects are a better idea. RFID chips implanted in pets and people are the best idea of all. Let me illustrate how committed I am to this idea. I have two children, a boy and a girl. When my son was born 12 years ago, the obstetrician asked within hours of his birth if I wanted to have him circumcised. This is a common practice for boys, so I didn't hesitate to say yes. Of course, it is a medical procedure, and in hindsight, I wish I'd thought about it for more than 35 seconds. Now imagine a world where the doctor had, instead, asked me if I wanted my son "chipped." Here's how that conversation might have gone: Doctor: "Mr. Ulanoff, it's a simple and virtually painless procedure." Me: "You mean there's no cutting? No blood?" Doctor: "Well, no. There is cutting and blood, but it's a small incision and there's very little blood." Me: "Sounds like it'll hurt my son." Doctor: "We use a local anesthetic, and the RFID implant will mean your child can be readily identified in the hospital." Me: "What? Wait. Why would he need it here in the hospital? Are you telling me that babies have been stolen from here?" Doctor: "Ahem. Er, no. But in the extremely unlikely event that your son is, uh, snatched, he would never make it through the hospital doors because his chip would be synced with your wrist bracelet. If your child left the building without you and your bracelet, which also has RFID, an alarm would sound." Me: "Um, well, 'chipping' him seems kind of extreme for tracking him while he's in the hospital. I mean, he's only here a day and a half." Doctor: "True, Mr. Ulanoff, but your son will benefit from the chip after he leaves the hospital, as will you and your wife. This RFID chip has GPS, a unique identifier, and near-field communication. There's even talk of adding credit card info when he turns 21, so he can shop by waving his arm over the check-out counter."—next: All that, in...my...son? > Me: "All that, in...my...son?" Doctor: "Yes. And with all of these technologies, you'll always know where your son is, where he's going, and what he's doing. You'll appreciate it even more when he becomes a teenager. If he tells you he's at his friend Chuck's house, you can look at a Web site and see if he's really there or if he's actually exiting a movie theater." Me: "Seems a little like spying." Doctor: "Trust me, Mr. Ulanoff. I have two teenage sons. Spying comes with the territory." Me: "Who else will be able to 'see' my son?" Doctor: "Only the people you choose [[and the Department of Homeland Security]]. You can block access to his unique ID. But if he can't be found, then you can, for example, register his ID number with the Department of Justice's Amber Alert program (www.amberalert.gov) to help find him and bring him home." ADVERTISEMENT Me: "Wow. So this can stay in his body for his whole life?" Doctor: "Yes." Me: "Won't it get infected or become uncomfortable?" Doctor: "It's a medical-grade capsule, and it does not interact with surrounding tissue." Me: "But, Doc, he can have it removed at any time, right?" Doctor: "Yes, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's not easily removed, and the scar might be larger than you or he really want." Me: "I don't know. I like the idea of knowing where he is. If he gets lost, this means I'll be able to find him. I remember being lost as a kid. It was so scary. I wandered around crying." Doctor: "Uh, yes, Mr. Ulanoff, but let's remember that this is about your son. I need your permission. Keep in mind that 35 percent of today's children get the implant and most before the age of 2." Me: "I guess we should." Doctor: "Yes, it's probably a good idea. Think of how much harder this will be to do when your son is older." Me: "Gotcha. Okay, put it in. Oh, and about the circumcision?" Doctor: "Oh, Mr. Ulanoff, we stopped doing those years ago."
Poster Comment: Any parent that would slave tag their children. Doesn't deserve children. Lance Ulanoff is a dumb ass.
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