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Title: Sixth-grader's turns tables on bullying
Source:
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URL Source: http://www.ajc.com/news/ap/florida/ ... urns-tables-on-bullying/nTBgZ/
Published: Nov 27, 2012
Author: MACKENZIE RYAN
Post Date: 2012-11-27 20:03:22 by A K A Stone
Keywords: None
Views: 950
PALM BAY, Fla. — For most of Acacia Woodley's 10 years, she has noticed people staring at her and, at times, whispering about her. The sixth-grader at Palm Bay Elementary School has learned to stand up for herself. Born without a right hand and a deformed left one, she has embraced what she calls her "difference." It's part of what makes Acacia, Acacia. "Some people say they feel sorry for me. I tell them not to be," she said. "I don't care that I'm different. I like that I'm different." Moving from the Caribbean to South Carolina, then to Arizona, and finally Florida, Acacia realized there were bullies everywhere. After arriving in Brevard, she decided to do something about it. She proposed a place where anyone could go when they need a friend, when they could use some support or reassurance. Or even a hug. A "friendship bench." If a student sits on the bench, it's a signal to classmates — and nearby adults — it's time to become a friend. Acacia borrowed the idea from something she'd seen in South Carolina. Acacia's first friendship bench sits in the Palm Bay Elementary School lobby, a brightly painted, Adirondack-stye place to sit. So far, it's been put to good use and has proven such a popular idea that other schools are inquiring about one, too. ____ 'It's limitless' Principal Lori Migliore uses the bench almost every day as a positive end to what is often a hurtful encounter between children. After winding up in the principal's office for horsing around or shoving, students sit together on the friendship bench. Leaning against various words painted on the back rest — "respect" is on one side, "encourage" on the other — students are asked to come up with a joint effort to make the school better. Recently, a pair of boys said they would yank some weeds from the front of the school, a job Migliore usually does herself. "It's limitless," Migliore said of the bench's possible uses. "We've just scratched the surface." What's clear is that it's a safe space for kids. And with an increasingly digital world, where students can bully via Facebook and text message, those places can seem fewer and further between. Last spring, Acacia recalled an incident where a girl at school pretended to be her online — telling her close friends mean and untrue things on Facebook and through email. Then there was the time she and a few friends noticed a boy being picked on and laughed at. A little slower, he didn't understand what was happening; they stood up for him and reported it the principal. Bullying isn't always straight-forward, and it can sometimes go undetected by adults. Like other Brevard schools, Palm Bay Elementary tracks such incidents by filling out what's called a bullying report. Acacia saw the form and made a suggestion to the principal. Why not start reporting and tracking friendship as well? "It's a perfect idea," said Migliore, who announced the new friendship reports the next day. "It's something we've needed so badly." ____ 'I can do it' When Acacia was born, her disability came as a shock. Doctors had not detected that her hands were not formed properly. Amber Riddle spent the first few months grieving. It felt like a loss as she imagined all the things her daughter would never be able to do. After six months, Riddle's sister had had enough. Stop focusing on what Acacia can't do, she said. Let yourself be amazed at what she can do. The frank conversation was a turning point. Riddle started emphasizing her daughter's accomplishments and building the confidence she knew Acacia would need. Now, there's nothing Acacia can't do. She ties her shoes, climbs trees, rides her bike. It might take a little longer, or a more creative approach. But Acacia doesn't think twice about trying something on her own. "My hands, I use them to show people I can do it, so they know that they can do it," she said. On the first day of school in South Carolina a few years ago, Acacia asked the principal to allow her to speak at a school assembly. Tired of all the questions and the funny looks, and with her brother at her side, Acacia told the student body about her difference. There was nothing wrong with her, she explained. She was just like them. It was unplanned, unprompted. When she told her mom that night, Riddle was shocked. You did what? Acacia hasn't shied from the spotlight since. At a Brevard School Board meeting last month, she told elected officials that schools should put more emphasis on the positive instead of the negative. "What about friendship? What about the random acts of kindness?" Acacia said in a video presentation. "What if we spent as much time putting the spotlight on kindness as we do on cruelty?" "Any questions?" Acacia said to school board members, standing on a wooden box in order to reach the microphone. An outpouring of support followed, coming in handwritten notes — "thank you for being an ambassador of peace" — and $20 bills. Inquires for benches now come from as far as California. The family is forming an organization, Tiny Girl, Big Dream, to spread Acacia's message — one school, one bench and one friend at a time. Eventually, they plan to create a website where children can write positive articles about their schools and friends. They also want to promote friendship reports and provide scholarships for children who can't afford an enriching experience, like soccer camp or an art class. Riddle believes she can duplicate the bench, which will be made out of brightly colored recycled plastic, for about $600. She'll take donations to fund the project. Like the first bench Acacia's family made together, Riddle will hand-paint friendship words on it: Courage, share, listen, believe. And Acacia's favorite: dream. She has a lot of them. Skydiving when she's 18. Traveling to Fiji and Australia. And spreading friendship. "You need to believe in your dreams," Acacia said. "If you don't believe in your dreams, I can definitely tell you that it's not going to come true. "But if you can dream it — there's a saying in my teacher's classroom," she continued. "It says, 'If you can dream it, you can achieve it.'"
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