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Title: Mitt Romney's Crazy Religious Beliefs! (at least as psycho, as any Muslim)
Source:
The Landover Baptist Church
URL Source: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2011/october/romney.html
Published: Sep 17, 2012
Author: The Landover Baptist Church
Post Date: 2012-09-17 12:17:55 by Hondo68
Keywords: the stupidest Mexican, fruit-cake Mitt Romney, a planet called "Kolob"
Views: 4035
Comments: 4
A WORD FROM OUR PASTOR, A LIST OF MR. ROMNEY'S MORMON BELIEFS, FOLLOWED BY A BANNED VIDEO AND PUBLIC COMMENTARY ABOUT THE MORMON CULT Like everyone in the other 49 states we've had our share of busting a gut over how silly the Mormons are. We even take to calling them the "Morons," in our Religious Cult Studies courses at Landover Baptist University. My message about Mormons today is actually more for the folks out there using the internets. I want to assure this congregation that I am doing everything in my power to prevent even the stupidest Mexican who can vote from being fooled by this fruit-cake, Mitt Romney. You see, the Mormon religion is absolutely, hands down, one of the most hilarious made-up religions Satan ever boiled up in the Lake of Fire! But all tomfoolery aside, Mormonism should always be reckoned with as a dangerous cult -- because whenever you design a cult to appeal to stupid people, you are going to wind up with a lot of members! I'll let you take a breath for a minute, because I know you are laughing harder than the time I was up here trying to explain how the Scientologists arrived on Earth in a space ship piloted by talking, lava-dwelling sea clams. Friends, Mitt Romney follows the Book of Mormon to the letter! He believes it has more authority than the Bible. If you don't know what's in the book of Mormon, we've included the Sunday School training video below: Folks, I'll wait a minute for you to calm down. I know if Joseph Smith were alive today he wouldn't even be able to sell this story as a mini-series to the Sci-Fi Channel, and those folks buy anything! I know in my heart of hearts that I speak for all True Christians™ when I say that the idea of Mitt Romney sitting in the Oval Office sends a shiver down my spine, and a cold trickle of perspiration down the small of my back! Lets take a stand and send this lunatic and all his pairs of magic underwear back to Utah where they belong. We need to act now, lest the Republican party goes down in history as the party for stupid American idiots who elect crazy morons to the office of President! For More Information About The Crazy Mormons: Poster Comment: 
Freehold, Iowa - Friends, I never thought I'd live to see the day when a Mormon cult member would be running for President of this Christian country. Then again, I said the same thing about that Mary Worshipping jackass, John F. Kennedy, and by golly - every uneducated colored fellow and unchurched low class liberal who thought Catholics were Christians voted that hell bound nin-com-poop into office! Cleaning up that mess was a little more complicated than loading up a plane full of deacons to Florida to take out some trash! I believe we can avoid anything like the Kennedy fiasco this time around by making sure we put a stop to letting kooky religious nuts run for any public office!
I want to start by stating the obvious. I will list it out here for you:
What Does Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney Really Believe?
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#1. To: hondo68 (#0)
Mormons are not a cult. They may indeed be heretics, but they are not a cult. My view is that the people running the The Landover Baptist Church are heretics are well. As is Barack Obama with his evil Jeremiah Wright, Black Liberationists beliefs. Luckily, we are electing a President, not a Pope.
IMO they're probably atheists, since they spoof ALL religions. It's satire.
Obama's watch stopped on 24 May 2008, but he's been too busy smoking crack to notice.
Good one! You got me. But... it's so hard to tell the kooks from the comics today... LOL.
Slightly inaccurate. Mormons do not believe in a general admittance Heaven like Christians. In the LDS faith, if a man keeps the covenants he has the chance to be a God like God. And to Mormons, God was once at the level of being just a flesh and blood man. If you rate heaven, you get your own universe and planet, and you can resurrect the women of your choice to be your Goddesses. When you do that as a newly minted god, you produce little spirit babies that have to be plucked and put into flesh from parents on a planet like Earth, which each universe's created from good Mormons God produdes as a place to do this on. One of the reasons I sometimes have trouble with Mormons is one of my younger brothers became one and tried to convert the rest of our siblings and Mom by dragging missionaries to my Mom's home. My younger brother and I had a 'hard on the furniture' one on one when I was on leave from the Army and I made that something that would not be happening any more. We did not speak for a long time after that.
Mormon cult member...
"we must as a species go into a period of shrinkage that we have not experienced since the Dark Ages and the Black Plague" -- lucysmom
#2. To: jwpegler (#1)
My view is that the people running the The Landover Baptist Church are heretics are well.
"We (government) need to do a lot less, a lot sooner" ~Ron Paul
#3. To: hondo68 (#2)
IMO they're probably atheists, since they spoof ALL religions. It's satire.
"we must as a species go into a period of shrinkage that we have not experienced since the Dark Ages and the Black Plague" -- lucysmom
#4. To: hondo68 (#2)
(Edited)
"He believes that it was impossible for Negroes to go to Heaven before 1978."
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