1. He's become a roadie for Big and Rich. 2. He was heartbroken after my proposal to reinstate him at LP was turned down and wondered out in the ocean never to be seen again.
3. He's playing drums for Shanna Crooks/Gretchen Wilson/Miranda Lambert.
4. His wife smashed his computer with an axe.
5. He absconded to Mexico with Freddy Mertz's money.
6. Ann Coulter finally yielded to her desire for him.
7. He never existed, except as a computer program.
8. He converted to Judaism and is now wearing a yarmulke.
9. He is hiding in Jhoffa's garage.
10. Badeye got him a job as a private eyeball in Ohio.
