After a man with an IQ of 61 was executed by lethal injection, initial hopes have been dashed after it was revealed that it wasn’t former US President George W Bush. News that a mentally impaired Texas man was facing the death penalty for murder had raised expectations that the former Governor of Texas could finally be facing justice, but celebrations were tempered when it was revealed that it was a 54 year-old man called Marvin Wilson.
“When I heard that the defendants language and maths skills had never progressed beyond an elementary school level, I began to get excited,” revealed one disappointed justice enthusiast.
“When it was revealed that he was unable to manage finances or carry out a job properly, I thought ‘it’s gotta be him’.”
“I was gutted when I found it was just another fella who happens to be black.” Texas execution
However, there could still be hope for people who are eager to see warmongering simpletons face up to their crimes
“Anyone below the generally accepted minimum competency standard of 70 has, up until now, been ineligible for capital punishment,” revealed a spokesperson for the Supreme Court.
“This now means that just because Mr Bush has the intellect of the average third grader it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t face charges for crimes against humanity.”
Claims by Mr Bush that his IQ is in excess of 70 have been dismissed by the public.
“When he was first told about the 9/11 attacks, Mr Bush was reading a book called The Pet Goat, with second graders at Booker Elementary School,” said 39 year-old Kevin Campbell.
“People said that he didn’t get up and leave because he was in shock or that he was indecisive.”
“It was neither of those things.”
“He just wanted to find out what happened at the end.”
