Humor
See other Humor Articles
Title: Microsoft Introduces "Rightwingnuts" Font
Source:
[None]
URL Source: http://open.salon.com/blog/jeanette ... roduces_new_rightwingnuts_font
Published: Sep 27, 2011
Author: Jeanette DeMain
Post Date: 2011-09-27 21:55:26 by Skip Intro
Keywords: None
Views: 8637
Comments: 28
In a bold move, Microsoft today unveiled a font that will now be available on all of its new computers, as well as being made available free of charge for uploading to existing PCs. A Microsoft spokesman explained that, "In an effort help our more conservative Windows users save time when writing to, in their words, activist judges, overpaid government workers, leftist media outlets, misguided liberal relatives, and secretly Muslim and/or Communist elected officials, the new Rightwingnuts font will provide an unmistakable way to get their point across, as well as offering extra assistance with spelling, grammar, and punctuation." "Now, in addition to the old tried-and-true Times New Roman, Tahoma, and Arial, and the wild-and-wacky Chiller, Stencil, and Magneto fonts, Rightwingnuts gives true patriots a way to quickly and forcefully make an impact on the, and again I'm using their words, latte-drinking, Prius-driving, baby-killing, gay-sexing, Face-Spacing, class-warfare-waging denizens of nanny-state America." "Rightwingnuts font is, basically, just really big and really dark. All the time. No more having to use the Caps Lock key, a separate command for bolding, or changing the font size. This is the font equivalent of shouting, 'Get off my lawn!' to that kid with the tattoos and pierced ears. We think it will be a real hit with those on Medicare who want to keep the government out of our health care system, those who think that people like Lloyd Blankfein already pay too much in taxes, and those who think George Soros sacrifices goats to Beelzebub." Other features of Rightwingnuts include: Three exclamation points for every one the user types. Typing the letters "D-e-m" automatically results in "Democrap." Likewise, typing the letters "l-i-b" automatically results in "libtard," thus saving thousands of keystrokes per week. The names of any Democratic elected officials will be underlined in red. When you run a spell check, the only offered alternative will be "Fascist." If you type in a temperature, it is automatically lowered to prove that global warming doesn't exist. (Warning: Using Rightwingnuts for recipes may result in undercooked food and subsequent death.) Whenever the letter "O" appears in "Obama," it will have awesome little devil horns and a tail on it. In Rightwingnuts, the words "Socialist," "Communist," and "Nazi" all mean exactly the same thing. Names like "Reagan," "Bush," "Limbaugh," and "Hannity" automatically turn Republican red and, when you hold your cursor over them, angels sing. Frownie face always appears after the words "tax," "spend," "regulation," "union," and "Michael Moore." If you ever deviate from the talking points, a cheery little paper clip will appear in the corner and ask if you really mean that. If you persist, the paper clip will actually hop out of the computer and stab you in the eye. (Clippy very angry!) When asked if Apple had plans in the works for a similar font for Mac users, a spokesman replied that Apple wasn't aware of any rightwingnuts using its products. "With our more intuitive user platform, creative music and video applications, resistance to viruses, and top-notch customer support, rightwingers typically regard our product as vaguely sinister, foreign or gay. And we're OK with that."
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: Skip Intro (#0)
Oh, how UNUSUAL. A google search for "communist font" and you'll have 1,480 results (0.15 seconds) Have you checked them all out, Comrade?
DUMMY DwarF: ...I'm eating a meatball... http://libertysflame.com/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=24347&Disp=35#C35 It's true!
"You post articles- intellectual excrement, really- that support your inane, insipid mentality, on a regular basis. Capitalist Eric
All the George W Bush memorial coloring books in his library should be converted to this font. true there are few words in them, but he was the decider damn it... can we do no less for the fascist cracker?
The LeftistLunaticKillingFields font: And you thought that DittoSphincts didn't take humor seriously...
America...My Kind Of Place... "I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..." "THE MILITIA IS COMING!!! THE MILITIA IS COMING!!!" I lurk to see if someone other than Myst or Pookie posts anything...
Now who can seriously argue with this?
Hey skippy-doo If you're neck is under the jack-boot of one of your statist heros, it really doesn't matter if it has a swastika or hammer-and-sickle on its heel, does it?
__________________________________________________________________________________________ Thanks for proving my point, wingnut.
Hilarious. Did you get that one on the playground at recess?
__________________________________________________________________________________________ Why not stick to looking at your Palin taking a dump picture? Stay with what you're good at.
Sorry you don't like the picture. You're so obsessed with everything the woman does, I thought I was doing you a favor. Or do you already have the picture in your collection?
__________________________________________________________________________________________ HA! Hilarious.
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
If you're neck is under the jack-boot of one of your statist heros, it really doesn't matter if it has a swastika or hammer-and-sickle on its heel, does it? Game. Set. Match.
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
Sorry...but the role of Boofer has already been taken...
America...My Kind Of Place... "I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..." "THE MILITIA IS COMING!!! THE MILITIA IS COMING!!!" I lurk to see if someone other than Myst or Pookie posts anything...
Ok, some of it is funny...Mostly BECAUSE the names and tags and iconic symbols describing the loony-moobatish (hey, two more!) liberal/left is sooo spot on true. The liberal/left/Commie version of a "font" should be hysterical. They can start their frothing spew-fest with "Teabaggers," Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin, "racists," "the rich," "paying their fair share of taxes," "homophobic," "talibornagain,"...etc.
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
Lol....(??) But anyway, is there an expiration date on your 0bama Fetish-Tribute Photo? Can't you switch to David Cassidy - a REAL teen idol?
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
It just got extended... Still a berfer Libby? Or is that just one more thaing on your that's shriveled?
America...My Kind Of Place... "I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..." "THE MILITIA IS COMING!!! THE MILITIA IS COMING!!!" I lurk to see if someone other than Myst or Pookie posts anything...
Ugghh.... Still a berfer Libby? Are you questioning whether I believe 0bama has ANY legit documentation of his birf? Of course not. You mean you actually buy it? AND the rest of his phantom documentation of his phantom accomplishments of his phantom life? You know, SOME cynicism is healthy. But I realize you're an obedient statist and dreamer at heart, so I get you. Or is that just one more thaing on your that's shriveled? If I didn't know any better, I'd suspect you were hitting on me. You're not going "yukon" on us, are you? Lol...
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
Hell no...you're not the kind of soft I had in mind... But it's hilarious that you're still a Berfer...
America...My Kind Of Place... "I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..." "THE MILITIA IS COMING!!! THE MILITIA IS COMING!!!" I lurk to see if someone other than Myst or Pookie posts anything...
You can tell a birther, but you can't tell him much.
"You post articles- intellectual excrement, really- that support your inane, insipid mentality, on a regular basis. Capitalist Eric
Lube's a birther? This is for him. Photographic Evidence that Barack Obama is a Human/Reptilian Hybrid, Part 1 http://educate-yourself.org/cn/baracksoetorofamilyphoto16sep08.shtml
RABIDLY so...EVERYTHING is fake. Personally, I believe that he's using it as a ruse to try to tap Orly.
America...My Kind Of Place... "I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..." "THE MILITIA IS COMING!!! THE MILITIA IS COMING!!!" I lurk to see if someone other than Myst or Pookie posts anything...
(war): It just got extended... What you've got to understand Lib is this: war's an intelligent guy, but part of his schtick on here is to be what he thinks is "cutting edge" and to provoke. He sees his pinup picture as doing both. But here's the neat thing - we can actually FORCE him to keep it - probably longer than he would have otherwise - by periodically asking him to shitcan it. So here you go: Hey war! Get Rid Of Your Pinup! Hahahahahahahaha
__________________________________________________________________________________________ Uh-oh...they're on to me Seymour...
America...My Kind Of Place... "I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..." "THE MILITIA IS COMING!!! THE MILITIA IS COMING!!!" I lurk to see if someone other than Myst or Pookie posts anything...
He sees his pinup picture as doing both. But here's the neat thing - we can actually FORCE him to keep it - probably longer than he would have otherwise - by periodically asking him to shitcan it. So here you go: Hey war! Get Rid Of Your Pinup! Hahahahahahahaha HA!! Dodge you've got Uncle War's schtick down pat. But that's why I find him entertaining. Yep. The more we suggest he get rid of that lame-azz 0bama Fetish/Pin-up Photo, the longer he's stuck eating it. It's a win-win for us - we get to laugh at it either way. WAR - ON BEHALF OF THE CONSERVATIVES OF AMERICA, WE DEMAND YOU SH*TCAN YOUR PIN-UP!! IT OFFENDS US TERRIBLY!! Lol....
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
I know. And what's even more hilarious is you believing every bit of elephant sh*t 0bama dumps on your head....oh...I know - it's really feels just a brotherly pat on your head, right?
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
I hope you're not the opening act for Biffy.
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
RABIDLY so...EVERYTHING is fake. My bad - what am I thinking?? There is overwhelming digital proof of the 0bama/Soetoro/Steve/Barry/Odinga/Davis birth in Kenya/Indonesia/Hawaii/Kansas/Washington in any number of phantom hospitals witnessed by several phantoms dead doctors, nurses, and witnesses. Of course you must have a HUGE scrapbook of the MOUNTAINS of evidence and pictures documenting his college transcripts, life records, girlfriends, and Community Organizing accomplishments as well. Personally, I believe that he's using it as a ruse to try to tap Orly. Like you'd turn that down??
"It's not surprising, then, they [White Pennsylvanians] get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." ~ Comrade-in-Chief Barry Hussein 0bama
Capitalist Eric: Foreplay before the president's staff? 
#2. To: Skip Intro (#0)
"With our more intuitive user platform, creative music and video applications, resistance to viruses, and top-notch customer support, rightwingers typically regard our product as vaguely sinister, foreign or gay. And we're OK with that."
#3. To: Skip Intro (#0)
#4. To: Skip Intro (#0)
That government is best which governs not at all -- Henry David Thoreau
#5. To: Skip Intro (#0)
--GW Bush
--Sarah Palin's version of "The Midnight Ride of Paul revere"
#6. To: war (#5)
In Rightwingnuts, the words "Socialist," "Communist," and "Nazi" all mean exactly the same thing.
#7. To: Skip Intro, war (#6)
In Rightwingnuts, the words "Socialist," "Communist," and "Nazi" all mean exactly the same thing. Now who can seriously argue with this?
ABC NEWS: [Ron Paul] added that the United States is in 130 countries and has 900 bases around the world, and added that “we’re broke.”. He was booed at a Tea-Party debate.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Statist and all ships at sea. Your demonization of the Tea Party has worked - you need no longer fear it! Carry on!!
#8. To: Get Outta Dodge! (#7)
#9. To: Skip Intro (#8)
wingnut.
ABC NEWS: [Ron Paul] added that the United States is in 130 countries and has 900 bases around the world, and added that “we’re broke.”. He was booed at a Tea-Party debate.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Statist and all ships at sea. Your demonization of the Tea Party has worked - you need no longer fear it! Carry on!!
#10. To: Get Outta Dodge! (#9)
#11. To: Skip Intro (#10)
ABC NEWS: [Ron Paul] added that the United States is in 130 countries and has 900 bases around the world, and added that “we’re broke.”. He was booed at a Tea-Party debate.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Statist and all ships at sea. Your demonization of the Tea Party has worked - you need no longer fear it! Carry on!!
#12. To: jwpegler (#4)
#13. To: Get Outta Dodge!, Skip Intro, war, lucysmom (#7)
Hey skippy-doo
#14. To: Liberator, badeye, skip intro (#13)
--GW Bush
--Sarah Palin's version of "The Midnight Ride of Paul revere"
#15. To: Skip Intro, all (#0)
#16. To: war (#14)
(Edited)
Sorry...but the role of Boofer has already been taken...
#17. To: Liberator (#16)
--GW Bush
--Sarah Palin's version of "The Midnight Ride of Paul revere"
#18. To: war (#17)
(Edited)
It just got extended...
#19. To: Liberator (#18)
If I didn't know any better, I'd suspect you were hitting on me.
--GW Bush
--Sarah Palin's version of "The Midnight Ride of Paul revere"
#20. To: war (#19)
But it's hilarious that you're still a Berfer...
#21. To: war, Liberator (#19)
#22. To: Skip Intro (#21)
(Edited)
Lube's a birther?
--GW Bush
--Sarah Palin's version of "The Midnight Ride of Paul revere"
#23. To: war, Liberator (#17)
(Lib): But anyway, is there an expiration date on your 0bama Fetish-Tribute Photo? Can't you switch to David Cassidy - a REAL teen idol?
ABC NEWS: [Ron Paul] added that the United States is in 130 countries and has 900 bases around the world, and added that “we’re broke.”. He was booed at a Tea-Party debate.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Statist and all ships at sea. Your demonization of the Tea Party has worked - you need no longer fear it! Carry on!!
#24. To: Get Outta Dodge! (#23)
--GW Bush
--Sarah Palin's version of "The Midnight Ride of Paul revere"
#25. To: Get Outta Dodge!, war (#23)
What you've got to understand Lib is this: war's an intelligent guy, but part of his schtick on here is to be what he thinks is "cutting edge" and to provoke.
#26. To: war (#19)
It's hilarious that you're still a Berfer...
#27. To: lucysmom (#20)
You can tell a birther, but you can't tell him much.
#28. To: war, Skip Intro (#22)
Skippy: Lube's a birther?
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
[Home] [Headlines] [Latest Articles] [Latest Comments] [Post] [Mail] [Sign-in] [Setup] [Help] [Register]