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Houthi rebels' attack severely damages a Belize-flagged ship in key strait leading to the Red Sea (British Ship) Status: Not Logged In; Sign In Humor See other Humor Articles Title: You Know You're a Tea Bagger If... Source: Huffington Post URL Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy- ... youre-a-tea-bagg_b_935055.html Published: Aug 24, 2011 Author: Andy Ostroy Post Date: 2011-08-24 16:51:39 by Brian S Keywords: None Views: 8706 Comments: 24 As the 2012 presidential campaign intensifies, there's been much speculation as to the philosophies, motivations and overall composition of Tea Party constituents. To help clarify any lingering confusion and to help define these passionate Americans, I offer the following Litmus Test: You know you're a Tea Bagger if: 1. You hate science and the corrupt scientists who manufacture data in nefarious schemes 2. You think global warming is a hoax 3. You think there are hundreds of Nobel Peace Prize-winning scientists who believe in Intelligent Design 4. You think Social Security, Medicare and "big government" are mutually-exclusive 5. You think God is an evangelical Christian conservative 6. You think Elvis was born in August 7. You think the "Soviet Union" remains one of America's biggest threats 8. You can see the "Soviet Union," or Russia, from your backyard 9. You think Paul Revere is famous for warning the British 10. You think the historic "Shot Heard Round the World" took place in New Hampshire 11. You think John Wayne Gacy was a rugged movie star 12. You think John Wayne was a serial killer 13. You think homosexuals can be "cured" by Marcus Bachmann 14. You think Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke has committed "treason" 15. You think there are "Death Panels" consisting of evil doctors who will kill old people 16. You think Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity tell the truth and that Fox News is fair and balanced 17. You think governors who advocate their state's secession from the Union would make great presidents of the United States. 18. You think that African American males like President Obama benefit more by government assistance than those hard-workin' white folks 19. You think President Obama is an illegal alien 20. You think Michele Bachmann really worked for the IRS just to get inside to better understand the enemy 21. You think the Founding Fathers abolished slavery 22. You love America but scowl when your opponents exercise the very Democratic principles which make it great, like free speech; separation of church and state; a free and open press; freedom of religion; checks and balances; freedom from persecution; and civil rights for all 23. And most of all, unlike your founding Tea Party brethren 238 years ago, you think "No taxation without representation" really just means "No taxation." Subscribe to *Tea Party On Parade* Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread   Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 5. #2. To: Brian S, capitalist eric, hondo68, no gnu taxes, CZ82, buckeroo, go65, Murron, sneakypete, Liberator, Get Outta Dodge! (#0) Nothing but nonsensical ad hominem attacks. My answers below... 1.) I love science and technology, but I am very skeptical of scientists (and anyone else) who feed at the hand of corrupt politicians. 2.) It's not a hoax but rather hubris. In the 1960s humans thought they vanquished disease with antibiotics. Then the germs fought back. Today, humans believe that our activities are the primary drivers in climate change. The earth will demonstrate otherwise. Remember, SUVs did not cause the last glacial period 15,000 years ago. 3.) I do not believe this and neither do most Tea Partiers. The Tea Party is mostly about economics. Yes, there is a social conservative element as well, but that's not the primary driver of the movement. The Tea Party is simply the next generation of Ross Perot's United We Stand. We care about fiscal responsibility and the future that we are passing to our children. 4.) I don't believe this. Social Security and Medicaid are huge drivers of the debt and have to be reformed. People all over the political spectrum are in denial about this, not just Tea Partiers. We need leaders on both sides who will tell the truth. Unfortunately, they are few and far between. 5.) I do not believe this and neither do most Tea Partiers. The Tea Party is mostly about economics. Yes, there is a social conservative element as well, but that's not the primary driver of the movement. The Tea Party is simply the next generation of Ross Perot's United We Stand. We care about fiscal responsibility and the future that we are passing to our children. 6.) Non-humorous, nonsensical attack which means nothing to anyone except maybe you. 7.) A misquote by Bachmann. Regardless, it was Bill Clinton who screwed the pooch on cementing Russia into the west with his misguided war in Kosovo. Yes, the neo-con war mongers in the Bush administration are to blame as well for any heighten tensions that we have with Russia. 8.) Sarah Palin never said that. She was misquoted. 9.) Bill Clinton thought that they speak Spanish in Brazil. He even prepared a short speech in Spanish for them. Barack Obama apparently can't speak at all without a teleprompter. It's funny how you leftists never mention these things. 10.) One state away -- close enough for government work. 11 & 12) Very doubtful that anyone actually thinks this 13.) This is a legitimate criticism. Homosexuality is a birth defect. We should treat it as such. It shouldn’t be condemned. It shouldn’t be celebrated. It should be taken as it is. 14.) I think that most government officials of both parties have corrupted the Constitution for the purposes of maintaining their own political power. Is this treason? I'll let you decide. 15.) No one anywhere thinks that death panels are comprised of doctors who kill old people. The sad fact is that government control of healthcare will indeed result in a tiny number of unelected government bureaucrats making life and death decisions for the rest of us based on statistical models. This is immoral. People should be able to make their own decisions based on their own priorities and resource trade-offs. 16.) Russ Limbaugh is funny. Sean Hannity is an idiot. Fox News is far more fair and balanced than is MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, and NBC. I have personal experience overseas dating back 30 years that demonstrates that ABC in particular is an untrustworthy propaganda machine. MSNBC is much worse. 17.) Perry never advocated secession. Perry stated that if worse came to worse, that this would be an option. Of course, he is correct. This country was founded on secession. The Declaration of Independence is a secessionist document. Jefferson knew that if we can't change things at the ballot box, then we can change things by leaving. Contrast that view with your buddies on the left -- murderous communist revolutionaries in Russia, China, Cambodia, and elsewhere who killed tens of millions of people in order to control the rest. 18.) Black families (and now white families as well) have been destroyed by the very programs that were design to help them. It’s a serious indictment of our system that we are unable to understand when a government program has been counterproductive and take steps to change it. 19.) I don't think that this is true, but more importantly I believe that the people who focus on this are misguided because it won't make difference at this point. We need to focus on Obama's inept leadership and misguided policies. 20.) Whatever. 21.) They didn't abolish slavery, but people need to be judged in the context of their time. Jefferson was a great man regardless of his slave holdings. Henry Ford was a great man in spite of his alleged anti-Semitic views. Yes, Martin Luther King was a great man even though he was reportedly a Republican. 22.) Unfortunately, it is the left that wants to take away our most precious freedoms with government atrocities like the "fairness doctrine", which limits free speech. Yes, certain parts of the GOP with their Patriot Act are just as guilty. Now that you mentioned checks and balances, the Progressives eliminated one of the most important checks and balances that the framers created -- the checks and balances between the state governments and federal government -- when they moved to direct election of Senators. I completely agree that we need to go back to implementing the robust system of checks and balances that the framers created. 23.) No one except the most extremist anarcho-capitalist believes that we can have a society with no taxation. While I have great sympathy for their intellectual position, it’s not realistic given where we are. Most Americans understand that the government has grown well beyond a government that is helpful to a government that is now actively harming society and the economy. Whether this is being done purposefully or through ignorance and incompetence is an interesting question. Regardless of the motivation, the government has grown too big and oppressive. It has to be reined in for the good of society. jwpegler  posted on  2011-08-24   18:24:40 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply   #5. To: jwpegler (#2) The Tea Party is simply the next generation of Ross Perot's United We Stand. We care about fiscal responsibility and the future that we are passing to our children. Perot's plan had tax increases. So, that's a bad analogy. The Tea Party is about BLAME and income redistribution....UPWARD... war  posted on  2011-08-24   18:29:10 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply   Replies to Comment # 5.         There are no replies to Comment # 5. End Trace Mode for Comment # 5. Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest

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