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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: Top 13
Source: E-mail
URL Source: http://N/A
Published: May 28, 2011
Author: E-mail
Post Date: 2011-05-28 23:41:59 by CZ82
Keywords: None
Views: 5440
Comments: 25

Top 12

When your friends cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"...

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions of people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE".

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view that makes sense.

13. I voted Democrat because I'm an imbecile and need handouts from productive people just to stay alive....

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#1. To: CZ82 (#0)

i voted Democrat because the Republicans gave us John McCain and Sarah Palin.

"Thats because your basically and idiot."
Badeye posted on 2011-04-29 10:30:22 ET

go65  posted on  2011-05-29   0:32:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: go65 (#1) (Edited)

i voted Democrat because the Republicans gave us John McCain and Sarah Palin.

CZ likes to make wrong guesses and post them in vanities under 'humor' as 'emails'. Or maybe he actually emailed it to himself, who knows?

mininggold  posted on  2011-05-29   1:15:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: CZ82 (#0)

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions of people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.

Like BP's little mishap in the Gulf of Mexico?

It is our responsibility to protect that child once that child’s born too. When we start debating a budget, let’s make sure we don’t cut 100,000 vaccines. Let’s make sure we’ve got health insurance. We seem to worship what we cannot see, but as soon as that baby’s born, oh no, we don’t want to be intrusive. Texas is going to shrink government until it fits inside a women’s uterus. Senator Leticia Van de Putte

lucysmom  posted on  2011-05-29   1:33:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: go65 (#1)

i voted Democrat because the Republicans gave us John McCain and Sarah Palin.

14). I voted Democrat because the Republicans gave us John McCain and Sarah Palin, I didn't want to vote for someone who could talk without using a teleprompter...

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-29   7:18:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: lucysmom (#3)

Like BP's little mishap in the Gulf of Mexico?

15). I voted Democrat because I don't like having fuel for my vehicles, I would rather walk... Or better yet, make my next door neighbor pay for my gas....

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-29   7:22:05 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: mininggold (#2)

Or maybe he actually emailed it to himself, who knows?

LOL....... I'll leave that to you.....

So does getting your own e-mails help your self-esteem??

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-29   7:30:24 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: CZ82 (#5)

15). I voted Democrat because I don't like having fuel for my vehicles, I would rather walk... Or better yet, make my next door neighbor pay for my gas....

None of the above.

We Americans used to think of ourselves as an innovative people; I still like to think we are.

It is our responsibility to protect that child once that child’s born too. When we start debating a budget, let’s make sure we don’t cut 100,000 vaccines. Let’s make sure we’ve got health insurance. We seem to worship what we cannot see, but as soon as that baby’s born, oh no, we don’t want to be intrusive. Texas is going to shrink government until it fits inside a women’s uterus. Senator Leticia Van de Putte

lucysmom  posted on  2011-05-29   9:39:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: CZ82 (#0)

I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat for Sarah Palin because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

America...My Kind Of Place...

"I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..."
--GW Bush

war  posted on  2011-05-29   10:16:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: CZ82 (#4)

I voted Democrat because the Republicans gave us John McCain and Sarah Palin, I didn't want to vote for someone who could talk without using a teleprompter...

America...My Kind Of Place...

"I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..."
--GW Bush

war  posted on  2011-05-29   10:19:48 ET  (2 images) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: go65 (#1)

i voted Democrat because the Republicans gave us John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Oh bullshit you fraud. You vote Democrat because thats what your ilk do.

Dumbass.

Proxy IP's are amusing.....lmao

Badeye  posted on  2011-05-29   11:04:05 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: CZ82 (#6)

LOL....... I'll leave that to you.....

So does getting your own e-mails help your self-esteem??

So does not taking your well deserved credit for creating your own vanity post help yours?

mininggold  posted on  2011-05-29   11:09:09 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: CZ82 (#5)

15). I voted Democrat because I don't like having fuel for my vehicles, I would rather walk... Or better yet, make my next door neighbor pay for my gas....

(1) I voted Pubby because I dumped my 401 and IRA into oil stocks and I know Pubs will insure their record setting profits every year through the socialization of their costs.

mininggold  posted on  2011-05-29   11:17:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Badeye, go65 (#10)

you fraud

You irony!!!

America...My Kind Of Place...

"I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..."
--GW Bush

war  posted on  2011-05-29   11:30:13 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: Badeye (#10)

"Dumbass."

Why does a girl like you post on her time of the month when you know wht it does to your head?

Ferret Mike  posted on  2011-05-29   12:06:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: lucysmom (#7)

We Americans used to think of ourselves as an innovative people; I still like to think we are.

Some things are going to have to change for that to be the case again......

It seems there are innovative people out there, but their creativity is being stifled by stupid rules, regulations and lawyers.....

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-29   14:00:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#16. To: CZ82 (#15)

It seems there are innovative people out there, but their creativity is being stifled by stupid rules, regulations and lawyers.....

I think its limited buy people that can't see beyond the old technology.

It is our responsibility to protect that child once that child’s born too. When we start debating a budget, let’s make sure we don’t cut 100,000 vaccines. Let’s make sure we’ve got health insurance. We seem to worship what we cannot see, but as soon as that baby’s born, oh no, we don’t want to be intrusive. Texas is going to shrink government until it fits inside a women’s uterus. Senator Leticia Van de Putte

lucysmom  posted on  2011-05-29   16:43:37 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: mininggold (#11)

So does not taking your well deserved credit for creating your own vanity post help yours?

Wrong guess!!!! It's called humor.......something some people (Democrat voters) don't understand.....

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-29   21:21:50 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#18. To: CZ82 (#17)

The list was cracking me up. Your additions were funny too.

A K A Stone  posted on  2011-05-29   22:03:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: CZ82 (#17)

Wrong guess!!!! It's called humor.......something some people (Democrat voters) don't understand.....

Really? Then the pubs should be selling out the comedy clubs.

I've got to admit that old Nixon was a funny looking guy though. Too bad gramps didn't drop him on his head when he had the chance.

mininggold  posted on  2011-05-29   22:27:31 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: mininggold (#19) (Edited)

I've got to admit that old Nixon was a funny looking guy though.

The caricatures of him didn't quite do full justice to his nose....

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-30   7:41:23 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#21. To: CZ82 (#15)

It seems there are innovative people out there, but their creativity is being stifled by stupid rules, regulations and lawyers.....

I agree. Lobbyists are on the same par as lawyers, maybe worse.

mininggold  posted on  2011-05-30   11:12:20 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: Ferret Mike (#14)

Why does a girl like you post on her time of the month when you know wht it does to your head?

Why does a lonely gay post in this forum like you, Mikey?

lmao

Proxy IP's are amusing.....lmao

Badeye  posted on  2011-05-30   11:16:25 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: mininggold (#19)

Too bad gramps didn't drop him on his head when he had the chance.

Maybe that's what was wrong with him, he was dropped on his head when he was younger..... LOL.....

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-30   11:42:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: Badeye (#22)

Why does a lonely gay post in this forum like you, Mikey?

LMAO!!!!

"I love the 45 caliber M1911, I respect the 9MM M9 Beretta but I only carry a CZ for my own personal protection". Quote courtesy of Lt Col John Dean Cooper, recognized as the Father of Modern Handgunning

CZ82  posted on  2011-05-30   11:43:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: CZ82 (#23)

Maybe that's what was wrong with him, he was dropped on his head when he was younger..... LOL.....

Gramps said he always had his pompous attitude.

mininggold  posted on  2011-05-30   11:59:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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