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Title: Glenn Beck Moves to Sci Fi Channel
Source:
[None]
URL Source: http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/ ... -beck-moves-to-sci-fi-channel/
Published: Apr 7, 2011
Author: borowitzreport.com
Post Date: 2011-04-07 12:51:27 by no gnu taxes
Keywords: None
Views: 14543
Comments: 16
Landing on his feet just hours after his program was dropped by Fox News Channel, controversial host Glenn Beck announced today that he had just inked a new contract to join the cable network Syfy, formerly known as the Sci Fi Channel. Speaking at a press conference announcing the move, Mr. Beck told reporters, “The best part of this deal is that I won’t need to change my format at all.” Mr. Beck said that his program was “a perfect fit” for a schedule of programming packed with aliens, paranoid conspiracy theories and alternative universes. But the TV host’s enthusiasm was tempered somewhat by Syfy spokesperson Tracy Klugian, who told reporters, “We warned Glenn that if he’s going to be a good fit for Syfy he’s going to have to tone down his act a bit. Some of the stuff he did on Fox is a little too ‘out there’ for us.” Mr. Beck said that his new deal would run “until 2012 or the end of the world, whichever comes sooner,” and that he would be paid in gold bullion and ammo. Meanwhile, Congress reassured the American people that during a government shutdown essential services would still be provided to Libya, Afghanistan and Iraq.
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#1. To: no gnu taxes (#0)
I love Glen Beck. He will rock any station he is on. :)
Ms. diva betsy ross, Glenn Beck has deceived you. Perhaps you haven't heard of his infamous fake tears broadcasts and crowing about the outcome to draw an audience towards his magnetic personality.
No, he does have a magnetic personality, and he is attractive too. I don't watch much TV, but Glen is entertaining. I would enjoy having a drink with him and chatting. :) I don't agree with him always- and he doesn't shape my politics, but he does entertain me. I like him.
He is a professional entertainer is all. He is akin to Rush Limbaugh and there are many, many liberal talkshow hosts that counter balance those two dead weights such as Bill Maher and Dave Matthews. Please remember that while America has been fascinated with the entertainment of popular talkshow hosts for over a decade, America has lost control on just about everything in life that was once held dear to the moral, ethical and constitutional value systems that were once the anchor of what made America great. Please do. That alcoholic needs a refresher.
How are you different, vermin? Your choice of Jameson?
You are acting silly, Mr. Vermin Exterminator. Intelligent mice don't imbibe in those refreshments. We don't have any money.
I'm not acting at all, vermin. I'm pressing letters on a keyboard. You on the other hand obviously suffer from some mental deficiences, either genetic or brought about by your own indulgences.
Mr. Vermin Exterminator, of course you are. It is apparent to anyone on LF and annoying to some. I am certain you have heard the old analogy about the "monkeys," correct? Here is how it goes: But you have a problem. Nobody has time to wait for you.
Annoying to you, vermin? Why would that be? Because of your psychosis?
You are half insane. Nobody understands the other half.
Where did you go, vermin?
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#2. To: diva betsy ross (#1)
I love Glen Beck.
#3. To: Clyven (#2)
#4. To: diva betsy ross (#3)
I would enjoy having a drink with him and chatting.
#6. To: Clyven (#4)
That alcoholic
#8. To: Vermin Exterminator (#6)
How are you different,
#10. To: Clyven (#8)
You are acting silly
#12. To: Vermin Exterminator (#10)
I'm pressing letters on a keyboard.
The "infinite monkey theorem" states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.
#13. To: Clyven (#12)
It is apparent to anyone on LF and annoying to some.
#14. To: Vermin Exterminator (#13)
Annoying to you
#16. To: Clyven (#14)
Replies to Comment # 16.
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