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Title: Glenn Beck Moves to Sci Fi Channel
Source:
[None]
URL Source: http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/ ... -beck-moves-to-sci-fi-channel/
Published: Apr 7, 2011
Author: borowitzreport.com
Post Date: 2011-04-07 12:51:27 by no gnu taxes
Keywords: None
Views: 14364
Comments: 16
Landing on his feet just hours after his program was dropped by Fox News Channel, controversial host Glenn Beck announced today that he had just inked a new contract to join the cable network Syfy, formerly known as the Sci Fi Channel. Speaking at a press conference announcing the move, Mr. Beck told reporters, “The best part of this deal is that I won’t need to change my format at all.” Mr. Beck said that his program was “a perfect fit” for a schedule of programming packed with aliens, paranoid conspiracy theories and alternative universes. But the TV host’s enthusiasm was tempered somewhat by Syfy spokesperson Tracy Klugian, who told reporters, “We warned Glenn that if he’s going to be a good fit for Syfy he’s going to have to tone down his act a bit. Some of the stuff he did on Fox is a little too ‘out there’ for us.” Mr. Beck said that his new deal would run “until 2012 or the end of the world, whichever comes sooner,” and that he would be paid in gold bullion and ammo. Meanwhile, Congress reassured the American people that during a government shutdown essential services would still be provided to Libya, Afghanistan and Iraq.
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#1. To: no gnu taxes (#0)
I love Glen Beck. He will rock any station he is on. :)
Ms. diva betsy ross, Glenn Beck has deceived you. Perhaps you haven't heard of his infamous fake tears broadcasts and crowing about the outcome to draw an audience towards his magnetic personality.
#2. To: diva betsy ross (#1)
I love Glen Beck.
#3. To: Clyven (#2)
No, he does have a magnetic personality, and he is attractive too. I don't watch much TV, but Glen is entertaining. I would enjoy having a drink with him and chatting. :) I don't agree with him always- and he doesn't shape my politics, but he does entertain me. I like him.
#4. To: diva betsy ross (#3)
He is a professional entertainer is all. He is akin to Rush Limbaugh and there are many, many liberal talkshow hosts that counter balance those two dead weights such as Bill Maher and Dave Matthews. Please remember that while America has been fascinated with the entertainment of popular talkshow hosts for over a decade, America has lost control on just about everything in life that was once held dear to the moral, ethical and constitutional value systems that were once the anchor of what made America great. Please do. That alcoholic needs a refresher.
I would enjoy having a drink with him and chatting.
#5. To: Clyven (#2)
It's this kind of behavior that has chased viewers away, he needs clean up his pt barnum act and just report the facts in a professional manner, and leave his silly antic for juvenile birthday parties.
Ms. diva betsy ross, Glenn Beck has deceived you. Perhaps you haven't heard of his infamous fake tears broadcasts and crowing about the outcome to draw an audience towards his magnetic personality.
#6. To: Clyven (#4)
How are you different, vermin? Your choice of Jameson?
That alcoholic
#7. To: Murron (#5)
Ms. Murron, I totally agree with you. And so do the SCIFI executives that have shown an interest in Glenn Beck. For Beck to survive, he must tone done some of his Hollywood theatrics. The article states this, too.
It's this kind of behavior that has chased viewers away, he needs clean up his pt barnum act and just report the facts in a professional manner, and leave his silly antic for juvenile birthday parties.
#8. To: Vermin Exterminator (#6)
You are acting silly, Mr. Vermin Exterminator. Intelligent mice don't imbibe in those refreshments. We don't have any money.
How are you different,
#9. To: Clyven (#7)
I'm not a big fan but I did like the info he was leaking, having to separate his news from his BS act just got tiresome. My son gave me his book as a gift, it's got some pretty good exposing facts in it, but it's his childish behavior that makes me just want to slap his face...lol &;-)
#10. To: Clyven (#8)
I'm not acting at all, vermin. I'm pressing letters on a keyboard. You on the other hand obviously suffer from some mental deficiences, either genetic or brought about by your own indulgences.
You are acting silly
#11. To: Murron (#9)
I fully agree with you Ms. Murron. Glen Beck has done a good job researching the raw data. Of course he has a research support staff that does all of the assembling of the factual data presented. But his showmanship/entertainer finales have been fatal. He pushed a string in other words, when he should have pulled it.
I'm not a big fan but I did like the info he was leaking, having to separate his news from his BS act just got tiresome. My son gave me his book as a gift, it's got some pretty good exposing facts in it, but it's his childish behavior that makes me just want to slap his face...lol &;-)
#12. To: Vermin Exterminator (#10)
Mr. Vermin Exterminator, of course you are. It is apparent to anyone on LF and annoying to some. I am certain you have heard the old analogy about the "monkeys," correct? Here is how it goes: But you have a problem. Nobody has time to wait for you.
I'm pressing letters on a keyboard.
The "infinite monkey theorem" states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.
#13. To: Clyven (#12)
Annoying to you, vermin? Why would that be? Because of your psychosis?
It is apparent to anyone on LF and annoying to some.
#14. To: Vermin Exterminator (#13)
You are half insane. Nobody understands the other half.
Annoying to you
#15. To: Clyven (#4)
:blush: That was not a good choice of words from me. But I will stand being entertained by him. I don't listen to the others, or watch TV-So I don't feel badly about enjoying Glenn every once in a while.
#16. To: Clyven (#14)
Where did you go, vermin?
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