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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: The Nuttiest Post I've ever Seen
Source: Neo-con Central (LibertyPost.org)
URL Source: http://www.libertypost.org/cgi-bin/ ... .cgi?ArtNum=304375&Disp=22#C22
Published: Mar 11, 2011
Author: BobCeleste
Post Date: 2011-03-11 16:42:38 by jwpegler
Keywords: None
Views: 4759
Comments: 5

Are you a born Again Washed in the Blood of the Lamb Christian? If so, you understand that Christ could rapture His church at any moment. Do you have pets? Do you have domestic farm animals, like cows? If rapture comes right this instant, what happens to your pets? Are they going to die a slow death locked inside your house? What about your cows and other farm animals? Who is going to milk your cow(s)? Who is going to feed your cat, dog, parakeet, gerbils and/or other house pets?

Do you have an unsaved friend you can bring this problem to, one who would, upon hearing of millions of disappearances world wide, would go over and take your animals home with him?

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#1. To: All, AKA Stone, sneaky pete (#0) (Edited)

I actually think this could be a GREAT business for someone -- Pet Rapture Insurance. Pay us X dollars a month and we will guarantee that your pet is cared for after God "raptures you to heaven".

And oh by the way, we'll need a copy of your house key so that we can come in and rescue fido after you are gone.

I'm actually thinking about starting this up.


"Everything that can be invented has been invented."-- Charles Duell, Commissioner of US Patent Office, 1899

jwpegler  posted on  2011-03-11   16:43:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: jwpegler (#1)

I'm actually thinking about starting this up.

Better hurry, before Jessie Jr. and hObama put it in the Constitution as a fed gov provided "right".


"We (government) need to do a lot less, a lot sooner" ~Ron Paul

I recall a re-run of MASH I saw where this uber right winger named Colonel Flagg...
Godwinson posted on 2011-02-23 11:47:32 ET
http://libertysflame.com/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=18011&Disp=46#C46

Hondo68  posted on  2011-03-11   17:05:08 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: jwpegler (#1) (Edited)

And oh by the way, we'll need a copy of your house key so that we can come in and rescue fido after you are gone.

Someone already thought it up...

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

Notice of Rate Increase: Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 24 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states: Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama and Ohio.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable. For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

Please visit our FAQS page

{Note: A portion of income generated from advertising on this site is contributed to community food shelves / food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire}

"Keep Your Goddamn Government Hands Off My Medicare!" - Various Tea Party signs.

Godwinson  posted on  2011-03-11   17:13:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Godwinson (#3)

That's a joke site that someone put up in an afternoon. I'm talking about making some real money here.


"Everything that can be invented has been invented."-- Charles Duell, Commissioner of US Patent Office, 1899

jwpegler  posted on  2011-03-11   17:18:21 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: jwpegler (#4)

That's a joke site that someone put up in an afternoon. I'm talking about making some real money here

Not if I beat you to it!!!

"Keep Your Goddamn Government Hands Off My Medicare!" - Various Tea Party signs.

Godwinson  posted on  2011-03-11   17:20:16 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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