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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: Civilized Flames
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 28, 2011
Author: sneakypete
Post Date: 2011-01-28 12:47:04 by sneakypete
Ping List: *Humor*     Subscribe to *Humor*
Keywords: None
Views: 5419
Comments: 10

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tuckeruncl

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


Poster Comment:

I figured I'd post this after all the recent discussions about people insulting each other here and other places. Subscribe to *Humor*

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 4.

#1. To: sneakypete (#0)

In other words, you can't or won't give up the insults as part of your posting personality?

Godwinson  posted on  2011-01-28   12:52:10 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Godwinson (#1)

In other words, you can't or won't give up the insults as part of your posting personality?

And you got that out of me posting a thread about civilized insults?

Here's one even you can understand. Eat shit and die.

sneakypete  posted on  2011-01-28   18:43:58 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: sneakypete (#3)

And you got that out of me posting a thread about civilized insults?

Here's one even you can understand. Eat shit and die.

That guy's a frickin loon.

I wonder why he even posts here.

Maybe he is really a conservative just out to make liberals look bad by pretending to be one and repeating the most absurd of their positions.

That, or he just a petulant idiot.

no gnu taxes  posted on  2011-01-28   18:48:28 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


Replies to Comment # 4.

#5. To: no gnu taxes (#4)

That guy's a frickin loon.

I wonder why he even posts here.

He came over here to flame me.

sneakypete  posted on  2011-01-28 18:55:48 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


End Trace Mode for Comment # 4.

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