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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: Why Atleletes Can't Hold Regular Jobs
Source: The Washington Post
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 15, 2011
Author: sneakypete
Post Date: 2011-01-15 01:29:48 by sneakypete
Ping List: *Humor*     Subscribe to *Humor*
Keywords: None
Views: 3641
Comments: 2

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate! on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You! guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperatu! re in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: “I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”

15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, "She is too ugly to kiss goodbye." Subscribe to *Humor*

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#1. To: sneakypete (#0)

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperatu! re in January)

LOL!

A conversation between my nephew, a local MMA fighter, and another nationally known MMA fighter...

Nephew said something about his daughter. The nationally known MMA fighter said, "I didn't know you had a daughter!"

Nephew said, Yep, 3 years old".

Nationally known MMA fighter said, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

True story.

Your tag line is stupid.

We The People  posted on  2011-01-15   10:24:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: sneakypete (#0)

I guess having nothing else on their minds allows them to better focus on what they are doing. /s

Well, [war's] got to do something for attention, his multiple personalities aren't speaking to him any more, and his imaginary friends keep finding excuses not to come over.

Rudgear  posted on  2011-01-15   10:54:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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