Well another twenty-four hours gone by and my brother calls me to say that, "That damned bull is out blocking traffic again." It sure as hell isn't my Brahama, but he's on my property and I'm technically responsible when he tears through my sharecroppered fence indulges in his favorite hobby of standing in the middle of the blacktop farm road and intimidating yokels. Over the years, I've known and dealt with many bulls. Frankly I think they've got a bad rap. I've always gotten along with with them by following the basic rules outlined below, Many of which I will admit to discovering the hard way... 1. Bullwhips have no effect on bulls. None.
2. Cattle-prods, even high-voltage ones are for cattle and sadists. Not bulls.
3. Ditto for tasers
4. Red objects or clothes do not antagonize bulls unless one holds them very close to the animal's eyes. Don't ask me how I know...
5. Never attempt to rope a bull, whether you're on foot, horseback or in a vehicle. You might accidentally catch him...
6. A nylon catch rope is stouter than you are.
7. So is a bull.
8. There are horses who actually enjoy working bulls. These are known as "geldings" since both their brains and testicles have been amputated.
9. Bulls are not stupid. In fact, one of their problems is that they are philosophers.
10. Under the right circumstances they can become quite arrogant.
11. The propper approach to penning and cutting bulls on horseback is to first blindfold the horse.
12. If you ever meet a bull on foot, be a aggressive. Chances are he'll move. If he doesn't, you'd better move...
