Country Goes Queer Not too long ago, country music stations banned The Dixie Chicks for expressing their disdain for the dipshit in the Oval Office. Granted, dissent is the beauty of being an American, but according to the redneck legion, exercising your democratic rights is downright UN-American. Go figure. But the tide is changing in countryville. A radio station here in Los Angeles, 93.9 KZLA, has launched a new ad campaign. They've placed massive billboards on the freeways and plastered the sides of busses with half-naked, hairless men lounging about and smiling at the camera with SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY screaming above their pretty little heads. The slogan is from a pop-country band called Big & Rich, and they're about as far from Johnny Cash and Merle Haggart as you can get.
The ad campaign is clearly homoerotic. Women aren't the visual creatures that men are. When I see the half-naked, hairless man just laying there, I think "that's a pretty gay boy. I bet the guys are loving that." What do women think is hot? Men in action. Men seducing women with their testosterone ways. But dudes with shaved chests sitting around, looking like the latest poster child for gay America? Not so enticing. Marketing folks? They know this. They want the country queer dollar.
Enter Brokeback Mountain, the new movie about forbidden gay cowboy love. I wonder if they'll have Big & Rich's new song in the soundtrack? Will gay men everywhere finally feel free enough to stop it with the forced feminized voice? Will dykes finally feel free to allow men to reclaim the manly cowboy image? Will The Dixie Chicks be praised for voicing disdain over a racist, homophobic dipshit who's ruining the country?
Country going queer may just save this nation from the rampant stupidity that is killing it. Just think! No more tight, tapered leg Wrangler jeans. No more upholding a corrupt party because they mouth rhetoric that has nothing to do with the reality of our lives. No more shocked women finding out that their rough-and-tumble husbands are saving their horses by riding their cowboy friends.
It's a good day in America when country goes gay, baby!
