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Title: Delaware Masturbators March Against O’Donnell -- Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History
Source:
borowitzreport.com
URL Source: http://www.borowitzreport.com/2010/ ... bators-march-against-odonnell/
Published: Sep 27, 2010
Author: staff
Post Date: 2010-09-27 17:54:39 by Ferret Mike
Keywords: None
Views: 6601
Comments: 12
WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history. Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks. Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.” Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution. “Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said. “And you know what individualists like to do.” He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.” Tracy Klugian, a homemaker and masturbator from Dover, Delaware, said she is “puzzled” by what she sees as the contradictory nature of candidate O’Donnell’s position: “If you’re against masturbation, why would you want to serve in Congress?” A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, “especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards."
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#1. To: Ferret Mike (#0)
did you see the opening skit on SNL this weekend?
{{{chuckle}}}
Never swear "allegiance" to anything other than the 'right to change your mind'!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/180972/saturday-night-live-christine-odonnell-cold-open
It was a great skit. The pedo-defiled-catholic-"alterboy" Hannity has been crying about it all afternoon.
Never swear "allegiance" to anything other than the 'right to change your mind'!
Were you wankers leading the demonstration?
no, but if we were, I'm sure you would want to be behind. :-)
Had I known of the event, I imagine I could have 'rubbed one out'...for the cause.
Never swear "allegiance" to anything other than the 'right to change your mind'!
Behind hell, this fucker would want to be right in the middle of the crowd hoping not to miss a 'drop'... Never swear "allegiance" to anything other than the 'right to change your mind'!
I knew there was a reason...I'm not talkin' about me...no way...seriously.
yucktard would pay to be on the cleanup party.
Chuckles....kind of gives new meaning to the resident floorlicking commie LF crowd eh Lib:):) (note the eager participants ...only dwarf and whiningskank missing...to this really relevant thread)......and the skidmark jerkwad above hasn't yet figured a good use for his own toungue? LOL!!!!
Death to everybody who does not get outta my way. Famous Dwarfisms : "the shorts and bibs I wear are of a carbon/lycra/nylon composition...and maaaaaannnnnn....just letting everybody know that makes my balls SWELL... #2. To: e_type_jag (#1) "I hate that you're off the plantation" 9-03-2010 Sheets Jerx .........(Why Fred???why the hate???....was it because my left Vibram sole made a lasting imprint on your face as I stepped over your constantly prone body and hopped the plantation wall .....:):)
And the Conservative plan to create jobs is......?????
#2. To: Ferret Mike (#0)
#3. To: Ferret Mike (#0)
#4. To: Brian S, ferret mike (#3)
And the Conservative plan to create jobs is......?????
#5. To: go65 (#4)
#6. To: go65, Brian S, ferret mike, skippy (#4)
Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History
#7. To: Ibluafartsky (#6)
Were you wankers leading the demonstration?
And the Conservative plan to create jobs is......?????
#8. To: Ibluafartsky (#6)
Were you wankers leading the demonstration?
#9. To: go65 (#7)
no, but if we were, I'm sure you would want to be behind. :-)
#10. To: Ferret Mike (#0)
He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”
#11. To: go65 (#7)
no, but if we were, I'm sure you would want to be behind. :-)
#12. To: Skid Marks, Liberator (#11)
pay to be on the cleanup party.
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