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Opinions/Editorials Title: The war against blondes I will freely admit that I am perhaps more partial than most to the Nordic beauty. This may be due in part to growing up in Minnesota, where one is surrounded at all times by blondes named Johnson, Nelson and Olsen, where "ON or EN?" is a most commonly asked question, where "swedegians" are considered half-breed mongrels and where girls who look exactly like Scarlett Johansson do not receive Maybelline contracts, but work as janitors at the local health club instead. Minnesota is, perhaps, the only state in the Union where there are more Kirstins, Kjirstins and Kjerstins than Christines of either the "C" or the "K" variety. For my first six months at the East Coast university I attended, every woman named Kristin was under the impression that I had a speech impediment. Now, none of this is intended as any slight to the non-blonde, you understand. A man would have to be struck blind in order to fail to appreciate the powerful African beauty of Tyra Banks, the delicate Asian appeal of Lucy Liu or the allure of the dark-haired English rose as exemplified by Kate Beckinsale. There is also much to be said for the Celtic redhead, the Latina and the Italiana, to say nothing of the Brazilian melange. Even so, I think you will understand why I am deeply troubled by the horrifying news that blondes may soon be an endangered species, if they are not already. A study by the World Health Organisation found that natural blonds are likely to be extinct within 200 years because there are too few people carrying the blond gene. According to the WHO study, the last natural blond is likely to be born in Finland during 2202. Understandably, the notion of blondeness as something worth preserving is more than a little tainted by the memory of a certain infamous Ayran enthusiast, whose record of respect for genetic human heterodoxy marks what one hopes is the definitive low. But one need not argue for racial superiority ? or even admit to the existence of race ? in order to favor the survival of genetic diversity within the race as a whole, however superficial the genetic marker. During last year's brief media uproar over "Prussian Blue," I found myself wondering what was so wildly outrageous about two young girls whose primary interest appeared to be perpetuating their blondeness. Regardless of whether the National Socialist Hess was or was not a man of peace ? and the fact is that the Allied powers thought well enough of his quixotic mission to spare his life when others lower in the National Socialist hierarchy were executed ? how is it any worse to profess one's concern for the perpetuation of one's genetic kindred than to "fight" publicly against the effects of assimilation and intermarriage on one's ethnicity, to give but one example? As we live in a profoundly oversensitive age wherein the profesionally offended are ever looking to take offense, let me state for the record that I am in favor of the continued existence and well-being of both Jews and blondes. (Ironically, and no doubt this is another Minnesota thing, the Jewish family I know best happens to be three-fifths blonde anyhow, so it's not as if the two are completely incompatible.) Perhaps it is only my imagination, but it seems to me that the ubiquitous celebration of diversity that began in the '90s has taken an insidious turn of late. These days, one has to look hard to find an advertisement featuring a black man paired with a black woman, an Asian man paired with an Asian woman, and, if two white individuals are paired together, you can just about be certain that they will both be of the same sex. I see nothing inherently evil in cross-cultural or cross-racial relationships, but it seems very strange to assert that there is somehow something inherently virtuous in them, and even stranger to imply that they are the historical norm. Indeed, if one were to possess the hyperactive imagination of a feminist, one might well conclude there is a secret war against blondes. Could it be that the producers of hair-color kits are seeking to eliminate the natural competition? Now, I am not calling for government action, eugenics laws, intermarriage bans or even activist groups with silly acronymic names. I am a libertarian, after all, and I am merely expressing my opinion that it will be a true aesthetic loss to mankind if, one day, the only blondes are those produced by hydrogen peroxide. Vox Day is a novelist and Christian libertarian. He is a member of the SFWA, Mensa and the Southern Baptist church, and has been down with Madden since 1992. Visit his Web log, Vox Popoli, for daily commentary and responses to reader email.
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#10. To: continental op (#0)
No prob - Tiger's got their rear.
lol...
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