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Other Title: Letters you'd love to write but won't send: Letters you'd love to write but won't send: I'm sure you're a good mother. I'm sure that you care about your kids. What I don't understand is why you brought your screaming brat into Kroger during the peak of post-rush-hour shopping. We've all been there: Determined to try and get our items collected and get in the checkout line before the rush really hits and the two solitary, elderly cashiers who never seem to know what Kale is become overwhelmed with folks buying that pre-dinner food. Everyone's harried and hassled and it's too damn hot outside and for some reason the air inside doesn't seem to be working either. People smell, the banks have just closed, and nobody wants to be there. At all. So why did you come, you with the howling toddler? Your baby was howling before you entered the store, and continued to howl the entire time you were there. I first heard him hollering and working himself up to a really good huffing tantrum when I was over in Produce checking out the green beans. The first wail split the air as you and he walked in the automatic doors, reverberated around those exceedingly high metal ceilings a few times, and then came to lodge itself right in the middle of my left eye socket. My fingers reflexively clenched around the beans I was holding as I looked around with a murderous rage to tell someone to please shut that kid up now. As hard as it was to believe, you were on the other side of the store and I couldn't even glare at you. I decided to grin and bear it, because surely any sane mother would take care of such a thing. Surely she has to know she's irritating a store full of customers by allowing her kid to scream. Surely it will stop at any time now. Surely... By the time I hit canned vegetables, I was wondering how your kid had any vocal cords left. Other customers were staring around uneasily, wondering if they ought to go "do something". But everyone decided that someone else would "do something" and they continued to shop, only exchanging commiserating looks with each other as your kid continued to disturb everyone inside the store. The howls went on, and on, and on. I eventually passed you in the aisle around the bottled water. I wanted to get a good look at you, and your kid, and try and determine where society had failed us all. You were contemplating the 27 different kinds of bottled water as if you had all the time in the world, and your toddler was ignored in the baby seat of your grocery cart. Let me give you a few hints. When your kid is screaming relentlessly for at least ten minutes, it is not acceptable to: 1. Ignore him and pretend nobody else is noticing you; 2. Mumble nonsensical "shushing" noises at intervals in the direction of your child; 3. Beg him in a miserable whisper to "Please do be quiet, Mommy doesn't like it when you are loud"; 4. Ignore the pointed stares and grumbles of the people around you; 5. Ignore your child some more so that you can manage to purchase just the RIGHT brand of popular spring water. The only way your kid could have been making more noise is if I covered him in Crisco, set him on fire, and bowled him still flaming out into the parking lot. I just want you to know that you are the reason I set my groceries down in the center of the aisle and walked out of the store. I simply couldn't take it anymore. And you're the reason I now have a splitting headache. I'm sure everyone else at the Kroger really appreciated your sensitivity and caring, also. You sure seem like a swell mom. Thanks again, The person glaring at you from Aisle Six
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#1. To: Jhoffa_ (#0)
Not only would I send this letter, I'd sign my own name to it. You realize this is a pretty mild diatribe?
"When they come for your guns, it's time to use them."-Anthem
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